"nice Quote my pm"

while a post gets shoved into drafts , never to get the public attention of people.
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random thoughts and quotes thoughout the past week
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"Shut up bryan"(Kerriann in choir when Bryan was being a nuisance to me, nice joking about my awareness of Evelyn absence. LoL it was funny , yet not so funny also...)
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Choir interviews about commitment and stuff , been slanted more to BB this year, thanks to ppl like Tim,K,Wesley,XL, Amanda,Christine , Charles Ng, John Tay, Russell see, Jun Yu,Malcolm, and many others for inspiring or motivating me to put more time into BB in different ways, big or small.
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and gray sky with dark showers....
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And Westlife emo songs to complement the day
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and looking back though old chat logs , particularly one in Feburary 19,
"...don't blame u wadsoever for wanting to hate me..."
"... the position you're in.. is really really difficult.. i don't think i'd be able to do wad u didd...."
I guess in your position it wasnt that easy to say that to me either at that time.
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and yet I still dunno... ...
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snapping at each other by comparing guitars and commenting about who is the better player?
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seriously where is the love then? the love of Christ. the brothery love?
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and I ask a direct question straight to the face....
"whats the meaning of "nice Quote my pm" "
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and you dont give me a straight answer...
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why? what has happened?
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while a lack of appeitite returns again ,wave at tim,... and the sudden desire to observe Koi at a wet bench..., or stand in the middle of the bridge in the pouring rain...
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while its a quiet day , without "digusting stupid boy" being splattered at my face with Evelyn's absence.
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yet ... ...
You Lord should be above my emotions,
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yet the tears which never fell are ever ready to fall with a unit vector of k.
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And a sister going for second op to remove ovarian cyst again. not Cancer please... no
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when you hate yourself for ......