Wake me up when September ends...

I have one thing to conclude as we approach September...

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Faith is the beginning of testing, but faith is what keeps us going...

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Hope is the beginning of disappointment... but hope still gives us a reason to move on..

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Love is beginning of hurt... yet love still is beautiful... love never ends... and love is the greatest... love is what has saved us... love is what was shown on the cross, the hurt Jesus had to bear... 

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I'll try to not blog so much... not till prelims are over...

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I probably still be posting  a few updates via twitter... 

so check out the first blogger gadget at the left column  or look at this site:

http://twitter.com/limecock

Anywhere is

I walk the maze of moments,
But everywhere I turn to,
Begins a new beginning,
But never finds a finish.
I walk to the horizon,
And there I find another,
It all seems so surprising,
And then I find that I know.

Chorus:
You go there you're gone forever.
I go there I'll lose my way.
If we stay here we're not together.
Anywhere is.

The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion.
But without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing.
In motion on the ocean,
the moon still keeps on moving.
The waves still keep on waving.
And I still keep on going.

Chorus

I wonder if the stars sign,
the life that is to be mine.
And would they let their light shine
Enough for me to follow.
I look up to the heavens,
But night has clouded over.
No spark of constellation,
No Vela no Orion.

The shells upon the warm sands
Have taken from their own lands.
The echo of their story,
But all I hear are low sounds,
As pillow words are weaving.
And willow waves are leaving,
But should I be believing
That I am only dreaming.

Chorus

To leave the thread of all time,
And let it make a dark line
In hopes that I can still find
The way back to the moment.
I took the turn and turned to
Begin a new beginning,
Still looking for the answer,
I cannot find the finish.
It's either this or that way,
It's one way or the other.
It should be one direction,
It could be on reflection.
The turn I have just taken,
The turn that I was making.
I might be just beginning,
I might be near the end.

---

Think I broke a record for most number of posts in a day...

Psalm 142

¹With my voice I cry out to the LORD;
   with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.
2I pour out my complaint before him;
   I tell my trouble before him.

 3When my spirit faints within me,
   you know my way
In the path where I walk
   they have hidden a trap for me.
4 Look to the right and see:
    there is none who takes notice of me;
 no refuge remains to me;
   no one cares for my soul.

 5 I cry to you, O LORD;
   I say, "You are my refuge,
   my portion in the land of the living."
6 Attend to my cry,
   for I am brought very low
Deliver me from my persecutors,
    for they are too strong for me
7 Bring me out of prison,
   that I may give thanks to your name
The righteous will surround me,
   for you will deal bountifully with me.

---

its always strange the way God works, in some strange way or another, opening up to a random psalm of sorts... and He'll minister... somehow...

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God is faithful... always...

seeing so many things around me

and trying to see if broken glass can ever be pieced together again..

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but i realise... broken glass cuts... 

then tears begin to well up... and I move them away...

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God makes us strong in the times of tests

yet i wonder... why cant broken relationships be mended

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or maybe its true... 'its a bit more complicated than that...'

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I wonder... why?

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T.T

---

i miss my guitar... =(

One by One...

Here am I
Yet another goodbye
He says Adios, says Adios,
And do you know why
She won't break down and cry?
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.

It's no lie
She is yearning to fly.
She says Adios, says Adios,
And now you know why
He's a reason to sigh
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.

My, oh my!
She was aiming too high.
He says Adios, says Adios,
And now you know why
There's no moon in her sky
- He says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

No Goodbyes
For love brightens their eyes.
Don't say Adios, say Adios,
And do you know why
There's a love that won't die?
- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.

- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.
- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.

---

Enya is one of my favourite New Age artists...

this song is especially lovely, yet nostalgic, yet beautiful...

Sn1 mechanism

oh well, wishful thinking =)

this helps a lot...

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makes things more sensible...

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oh well =)

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Blest be the name of the Lord

Though all the hurt and pain

Great is Your Faithfulness

Oh Lord our God

confusion never stops

found out more... about my friend

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and I now know more... 

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do not be unequally yoked...

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you know... it can never be in God's will in that sense... even if you intend to try to bring the person to Christ

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the unequally yoked principal still applies, it is hard to be able to pair along with another person at a differing level of spiritual maturity

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I remember  Su Lin from church was sharing this:

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imagine you're on a table

and the non-christian/new believer is on the floor 

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which is easier, to pull a person up to your level

or for the other to pull you down...

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that by itself will be the main difference ever...

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I wonder... 

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so strange...

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anyway Sim Lim is one weird place...

I need to start mugging... or die...

closing walls and ticking clocks

Clocks - Coldplay:
Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh, I beg, I'm begging please
Singing: Come out, all things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head
And a trouble that can't be named
The tiger's waiting to be tamed
-
Singing:
You are
You are
-
Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop what you now know
Singing: Come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I a part of the disease?
-
Singing:
You are
You are
You are
You are
-
And nothing else compares
Oh, nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
-
You are
You are
-
Home
Home
Where I wanted to go

---

maybe...

oh well =)

that would make the choice easier...

the moon is gone

but God remains...

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I just wonder so much...  and the confusion starts again

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I need to resolve things soon... or make a resolve...

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sighz

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I'll have to talk to someone else soon though...

Smile God loves you...

oh well

I actually got to go for a bit of the retreat =)

even though i didn't expect to be able to go there

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I guess God made a way in a very special way...,

Reaching back to school just on time to get a lift from Azmi after a rather tiring session at the church  music studio... any later and I would have missed it

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even more so since i didn't even know about it until Kenneth suddenly runs out of the room (when i just reached it) and exclaims that he was going for retreat...

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was looking through my blog stats of the past month yesterday (which is monitored by Google Analytics)

one of the more interesting things about monitoring blog stats is that one can see what google search terms landed up hitting  on the blog

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and besides the usual large volume of traffic from teachers doing blog searches; Who else would bother googling things like "Gabriel Phee" or "Ong Wei Chiang" or "Nirmala Silverajan" (lol, hi madam, the most awesome EA1 teacher in the world if you'll reading this =p)

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and apparently "Sze Jet" is quite a popular google hit on my blog for some strange reason as you can see below:

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today (and yesterday night) was full of what could be described as a sinking painful hurting sensation some where about the region of the chest... I dunno whether any of you have felt it before...

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but it was strange... I hadn't had it for a very long time... largely due to the fact I've been trying not to take things too seriously... and well just let it be(they sang that during Tday concert =)

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I guess finding out facts or stuff, and the fact that stuff can be either this or that way, one way or the other.... it becomes all too confusing and I'm really not sure how to deal with it...

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so reached school there about 7 plus, and walking over to FireAC from the roundabout and still feeling very lousy

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and talking with tim for one of the longer times... I guess he's sort of been through stuff before, and he would know a bit....

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but I guess the thing is... "do what your heart tells you to do... keep close to God and God will see you through..." as Tim said..

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yeah, so I ran about feeling lousy for pretty much the whole day...

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then was retreat, and some how it was rather uplifting. It was rather nostalgic, as i still remember the events of last year, captured in this blog post 

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"God is love..."

and I'm not so confused now i guess,  it is more that than this... and I just need to trust God in everything and keep close to Him

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oh well unlike the last retreat which i commented:

How does one jump from happy to sad to happy to sad so many times in one day???

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but it wasn't the case now, at least I remained cheerful and smiling

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and later spending a little time with the Y3s and the officers was good i guess

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although i didn't get to talk to some people... i wanted to talk to Zhuoer about stuff but i didn't see her, guess she didn't come...

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maybe tmr I wont be so cheerful...

but I know... He holds the future

and I know... He holds my hand.

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time will tell , I guess...

3 Bio Pracs

hmm

whacking IA at Tims house again... like so late...

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oh well

its fun talking to tim and using his comp

while using my comp at the same time...

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but msn really reduces productivity... maybe i should just appear offline

or maybe block everyone on my contact list 

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haha, I shall try to keep happy , even though whacking through so many pracs is depressing

I starting to hate the the word reliability and validity

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oh well glad its all over... like everything else

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Facade Truth

truth is better than lies

honesty is better than fabrication

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random song quotes:

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...its either this or that way

its one way or the other...(Enya - Anywhere is)

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I worry I won't see your face, lit up again... (Collide -Howie Day)

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but 

if you can't understand His plan

trust... in His hand( Tim Lim's blog)

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Sin like a Cancer...

sin is very much like a cancer... it starts out small... and grows bigger and bigger

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"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."(Isa 53:5)

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and God... is Our healer... not just from physical sickness but from our sin....

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"you know people always use this verse to claim healing"(Amanda to Charles, a BS sometime ago)

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may God heal you from your real sickness...  

Michael Guglielmucci

(which shall be refer to as "the pastor" as his name is too tedious to type) 

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and our sins... we all fall short in many ways...

but...

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9)

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its very sad to see the state of the church....

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not just of the pastor... he is a great musician, and chances are he does/might have a desire to honour God... except he let sin take over his life... and tried to cover it up... just like how even in the medical area... cancer patients try to hide their sickness from friends ad family...

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but we should always remember... 

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God uses imperfect people... in their weakness , He is made strong

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David in the bible was worse than the pastor anyway,

He committed sodomy and MURDER...

and like the pastor, tried to cover up...

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He confessed and repented

and he was called a man after God... 

he too wrote many songs... or psalms for God

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As a church... as a unified body of Christ... we should not simply just express our shock and horror... and pass judgement upon people... it is for God to judge

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but we should pray for people... pray for healing upon this aggressive cancer that is known as sin...

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and like cancer... sin leads unto death...

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but its saddening... we see Hillsong trying to "unperson" the pastor (I have their original dvd... which prominently features him, and his "testimony")

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oh well...

My wife is in hospital

two weeks without Tessa K. Taylor

=(

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Cures for Emoness

1. God

2. Friends

3. BEN and Jerry's Ice-cream =)

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relying on number 3 now...

I wonder

strangeness

and strangers

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because it can mean it one way or another...

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but eitherway the emo cycle is contagious

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sighz

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may it be...

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but smile because... God loves us... all dearly

and that is.... more than enough....

-

"if you really want to you should... ..."

"but I don't want what happened to repeat itself, you realised I couldn't talk to ***"

"you sure?"

"I really couldn't "

---

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and now maybe I can ... just a bit...

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but its been nearly 9 months since the 27th December, and well... it still saddens me a bit... because nothing will ever come of it... I already knew that... 

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and I wonder if anything will come out of anything...

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晴天

Verse 1

故事的小黄花
从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在
-
Verse 2:

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吹着前奏望着天空的我想起花瓣试着掉落.
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Pre Chorus
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
每想到失去勇气我还留着,
好想再问一遍,

你会等待还是离开
-
Chorus
刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐大到我看你不见
还要多久我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点
-
从前从前有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐把距离吹得好远
好不容易又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

---

wonderful song to learn basic guitar hammers and flat picking
-
but haha
Chinese emo song... dunno how many people don't like Chinese enough to NOT want to read it

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the problem with emoing

is that when you start emoing it becomes a cycle...

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the human mind/heart works in such a way, that sad people tend to drag out sadder memories, and it intensifies the whole thing.... almost like a multiplier effect of sort(and I don't take econs so pardon me if I'm not applying correctly)

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And another recording

In You I have Found My Worth

Verse 1:

I'll sing praises to the Lord of love
I'll sing praises to the Maker of earth
I'll sing praises cause You deserve, oh Lord
I'll sing praises with all I have worth
-
Chorus:
I'll sing Hallelujah
Cause in You I have found my worth oh God
Cause in You I have found my worth
-
Verse 2:
You're the Lord of the stars that shine above
You're the Lord of the whole universe
Yet You look upon me with Your great love
Who am I that I should deserve such love
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Chorus
I'll sing Hallelujah
Cause in You I have found my worth oh God
I sing hallelujah
You have bought me with Your great love oh God
And You have given me my worth
-
Verse 3
Though I stumble and fall You pick me up
Though I stray far away, You'll be there for me
Though You know all my heart, You still love me
I can never be far from Your Great love
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Bridge
You have given me all my worth
the Lord who died for my shame
The Cross is all I have to boast
I'll sing forever of Your Love
-
© 2008 Emil Ng, songs4him.wordpress.com

---

Recorded with:

Ashley Morris (Tim's Guitar)

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anyway Tessa K. Taylor(My Guitar) ES Pickup somehow spoilt for some strange reason, meaning I'll have to send it for repair =(

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pathfinder

talking yet again to raphael

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strangely enough

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the stories we tell seem to ring the same tune

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nearly the same thing last year

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and nearly exactly the same thing this year

-

except with one difference... which I might end up taking in the end...

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since everyone tells me that fleeting happiness is not worth it...

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---

so do names mean anything?

or not?

Wish I knew...

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happiness in the heart

puts sunshine in the day...

-

be happy without happy

-

I wonder why things can end up so unhappy

-

and happy can be emo

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I love happy...

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hate evil

emo evil

evil is emo

oh no

why is the world emo?

time and place...

and the not so random post 

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 1 There is a time for everything, 
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
       a time for war and a time for peace.

 9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

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I guess that just something to reflect upon.... He has made everything beautiful in its time... 

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we should just trust in Him, and He'll make things beautiful in the right time... 

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In the mean time, dont take things too seriously... haha laugh about the times and weird little things we do =), because we don't need to emo over it, God is sovereign 

Vivo City

more random stuff:

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Dinner with my cousins and aunts at Vivo City

-

---

noticing my cousin Vanesse was tip toeing( she seems to have grown a lot taller)

*immediately straightens up

"I'm still taller than you"

"I wasn't trying to show I'm taller, anyway you're very short for a guy, I seen all the sec 3 guys about this height"(stretches her arm up towards the ceiling)

"you think Yao Ming issit"

"no but they're all taller than you"

"I'm still taller than you

"but you're 3 years older than me"

"I seen some of my girlfriends, they're all taller than you, you're very short for a guy"

"I'm still tallest here(all my aunts/mother/cousin/sister were shorter by about half a head)

"you must be the shortest guy in your class"

"no got people shorter than me" 

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---

oh man... dotz

"who asked you to be so short".... lol

-

more like my whole family isn't very tall, end of story?

-

Chem IA 23

Or a whole pile of erm... nonsensical rubbish typed upon a document by tim and I

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lol

ridiculously amusing the way we swan one another...

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but unfortunately I'll need to PW protect it =p 

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sensitive stuff inside 

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Link

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---

but the last part anyway:

Evaluation:

Lol I dunno what to write

MR CHOOI =)

GIMME A CCC

Haha YAYAYA

-

lol

Chem IAs makes me go wonky...

what can't hurt you won't hurt you

haha

-

random things can happen

and it doesn't matter...

-

my goodness

i should stop blogging like I'm using twitter

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and post more substantial posts...

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and that's why i don't like smses or msn for that matter

-

you never know what's really going on...

sighz

Emo blogs are really depressing, especially when they are from people you care about...

love and hate and indifference

the worst place to be in

is indifference...

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not love, not hate

-

but indifference...

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because indifference means there is no emotional attachments or feelings towards anybody, not even an ounce, almost strangers

-

even strangely enough, you cannot hate unless you love somehow...

-

when you hate something, it is because you love something else... 

-

the absence of love is not hate...

its indifference

-

---

love and hate are strong emotions

-

and somehow that is why its very hard to move away from something that you have strong emotional attachments to, it almost to the extent you need to HATE the thing to get away...

-

you can never be indifferent again. or maybe you could...

-

---

haha

i guess the best way to tackle things is to adopt a light hearted approach to everything

-

and i learnt how to love friends without expecting too much back, because its the expectations that bring disappointments

-

---

"so daniel you bought the most expensive ....?"(Lejon's mom)

"no lah"(Dan)

"Almost is it?"(Lejon's mum)

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lol that was really really awkward... haha

-

---

I think I was mad... really crazy

but nevermind it was worth it all the same 

-

after all

"its more blessed to give than to receive"

-

maybe I can start rebuilding the bridges that I burnt...

haha

on the basis that I have nothing in mind anyway... haha

-

and I'll guard my heart more carefully now

-

---

wonder whether i should just let it be... 

was glad after i saw an email from the Y5 FireAC people

-

haha, its encouraging to see the group doing a good job

-

but somehow... maybe i dunno lah...

-

"its not worth it, few months of happiness for a really long period of S***"(Wesley)

"its not worth it, touch the kettle and find that its hot"(tim)

-

so... love, hate, or indifference?

one hundred and five...

Password Protected: Link

plunging into a pile of petrifying purple pracs

poo

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4 chemistry Pracs to do, in fact... by this weekend...

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plosive 'p' sounds denote disgust

-

I hate Chem Pracs, 

Esp with all that uncertainty

-

serves me right for not doing them earlier...

-

and some other random English assignment, commentary on a poem with the LONGEST title I've seen so far

and some cute innocence and fairy tale childlike quality in it, almost in the same way Frost does 'Mending Wall' ...

-

---

May 07 TZ0/SL English A1/Paper 1

-

Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received from a Friend called Felicity

-

During that summer

When unicorns were still possible;

When the purpose of knees 

Was to be skinned;

When shiny horse chestnuts

(Hollowed out

Fitted with straws

Crammed with tobacco

Stolen from butts

In family ashtrays)

Were puffed in green lizard silence

While straddling thick branches

Far above and away

From the softening effects

Of civilization;

-

During that summer--

Which may never have been at all;

But which has become more real

Than the one that was--

Watermelons ruled.

-

Thick imperial slices 

Melting frigidly on sun-parched tongues

Dribbling from chins;

Leaving the best part,

The black bullet seeds,

To be spit out in rapid fire

Against the wall

Against the wind

Against each other;

-

And when the ammunition was spent,

There was always another bite:

It was a summer of limitless bites,

Of hungers quickly felt 

And quickly forgotten

With the next careless gorging.

-

The bites are fewer now.

Each one is savored lingeringly,

Swallowed reluctantly.

-

But in a jar put up by Felicity,

The summer which maybe never was

Has been captured and preserved.

And when we unscrew the lid

And slice off a piece

And let it linger on our tongue:

Unicorns become possible again.

-

– How does the title contribute to the meaning of the poem?
– What aspects of childhood does the writer portray?
– Comment on imagery and diction.
-

---

pleagh... so much work to do...

In You I have found My Worth

Verse 1:

I'll sing praises to the Lord of love

I'll sing praises to the Maker of earth

I'll sing praises cause You deserve, oh Lord

I'll sing praises with all I have worth

-

Chorus

I'll sing Hallelujah

Cause in You I have found my worth oh God

Cause in You I have found my worth

-

Verse 2:

You're the Lord of the stars that shine above

You're the Lord who holds the whole universe

Yet You  look upon me with Your great love

Who am I that I should deserve, oh Lord

-

Chorus

I'll sing Hallelujah

Cause in You I have found my worth oh God

Cause in You I have found my worth

I sing hallelujah

You have bought me with Your great love oh God

And You have given me my worth

-

Verse 3

Though I stumble and fall You pick me up

Though I stray far away, You'll be there for me

Though You know all my heart, You still love me

I'll never be far from Your Great love

-

Bridge

You have given me all my worth

the Lord who died for my shame

The Cross is all I have to boast

I'll sing forever of Your Love

-

© 2008 Emil Ng, songs4him.wordpress.com

-

---

Simple chords and melody

To be recorded when I feel like it

-

inspired by my favourite psalm 139 as well as a few other places

-

I love You =p (lol not you lah) 

-

1 Cor 13 talks about Agape Love.. love without expecting back

-

not mushy romantic love, but yeah...

-

its not a passage to emo over... even though i did that last year...

-

haha

-

find worth in Him and keep smiling... yeah

-

EMO IS BAD =p 

I wish the world would stop emoing

and I won't regret it if it comes true =p

1.30 is a nice number

BT

-

or really...

-

except swanning each other during math class was quite funny

-

"dont test me"(me)

"you need to amend your ways "(Tim)

-

---

Godly character is hard to come by...

-

and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...

-

---

Glynn/Matthew once shared this:

-

when doing anything in terms of a r/s it should be on the basis that the 2 people are in alignment with God's plan, with similar callings...

-

... on the basis that you're working towards marriage (which is obviously too young for you'll to think about yet)...

-

...and to do that you need to know the person well enough... a good gage is that you need at least 1 year to know a person...

-

---

we all make mistakes

-

I made the mistake of being too imprudent and not guarding my heart...

and that I have learnt... the hard way... and now I'm more cautious

-

but the other mistake can be made.... being too indecisive... unfortunately that is the role of a guy in a healthy Godly perspective... a natural order...

-

and as my sister pointed out last year quite bluntly... the girl is always the one to wait for the guy to make a choice... and even if they want it... they will still wait....

-

but again haha its not the time to think of such stuff because :

1. I have major exams in 2 months time

2. Developing a healthy r/s with God is more important in this stage of life

3. There is army... after all

-

but anyway that means... no emoing haha

-

but I'll probably find an appropriate time one day...

---

We should just keep our heads in lala land

that'll help us get pass the IB exams

then after that when we finally do well

we'll forget about emoing when reality is felt

-

hence

every little thing is gonna be alright =)

or I wish... haha

devilish letters

I don't like chain letters 

or at least passing on chain letters because you end up annoying more people later

-

so this probably is a better way to respond to the annoying "p.s. " part:

if you feel obliged to erm....  share this go ahead... I'm not stopping you

---

> >
> > DARK LETTER
> > PAY ATTENTION TO THE P.S. at the end.
> >
> > Letter from the Devil
> > This can really make you think. It actually made me really mad
> > while I was reading it, but it made me realize some things.
> > Plus,
> > I had to send it because of the P.S.
> > This is deep... and I wasn't going to forward or share it, but that last line... you'll see.
> >
> >
> >
> > A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN
> >
> > I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores.
> >
> > You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night.
> >
> > You are so unthankful, I like that about you.
> >
> > I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine.
> >
> > Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet.
> >
> > As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God.
> >
> > He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
> >
> > You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you
> >
> > But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell.
> >
> > That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God.
> >
> > Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had.
> >
> > We have been...
> >
> > watching dirty movies,
> > cursing people out,
> > stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental,
> > back stabbing people, disrespecting adults, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, bad attitudes.
> >
> > SURELY you don't want to give all this up.
> >
> > Come on, Fool, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
> >
> > I'd like to say 'THANKS' for letting me use you for most of your foolish life.
> >
> > You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in
> >
> > HA HA HA, you make me sick.
> >
> > Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood.
> >
> > So go ahead and teach some children how to sin.
> >
> > All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible.
> >
> > Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.
> >
> > Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left.
> >
> > It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.
> >
> > IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.
> >
> > P.S. If you love me, you won't share this
> >
> >
> >
> >

fine find for

silver singapore

haha good job to team singapore

-

with random squeals from my mum whenever China scored lol

---

trying and wondering whether it is worth it

-

I remember Charles at vivo a few months back making a few comments 

-

---

money cant buy everything

-

it cannot buy love, it cannot buy friendship

-

and it cannot buy salvation

-

---

why do I bother with the embarrassment

-

after all its all over and done with

-

but again...  its something I wanted to do since the start of the year

-

and I don't think I want to change that decision

-

again I don't even know if I can find what I am looking for

-

---

church today was quite interesting

-

again I dunno why, whatever I hear always seems to be concerned about not worrying about worldly things, but to set our minds on God

-

lead worship for the small group

-

hungry /complete

-

although i always wonder why wonderful is always used as an adjective for worship

maybe because people like alliteration

-

and later was a rather inspiring message from Simon

-

and a song - Who am I

-

---

things seem a little more fine now

-

but at least from the facade we know as msn...

-

wonder why...

sight

feeling in a state of half happy half upset for now...

-

eitherways, my mum isnt too happy with me for my lack of enthuasim in studying... which is very irritating and annoying... as if I don't already have enough on my mind to start thinking about about failing exams(which I am confident I won't, because this time i know what to look out for in studying)

-

---

anyway seeing the way I see it....

-

it was sort of emotional to a sense... to see my juniors whom I've seen grow from little sec1 boys, now taking over the running of the company(not planning yet though haha...)

-

I know maybe some of you might be disappointed about the posting, but just keep united and everything, and know that God placed you there in a position for a reason, =)

-

in many ways some memories still haunt me, the time when i was well...

"not like it isn't a just punishment"

but again... if God really was fair... we'll all be dead now...

-

---

I notice things and keep telling myself not to think too... much...

-

$1.30 

thank you...

-

Random cheers:

Bottles in right hand

Caps off

Drink water good

Drink water Very good

Drink

---

anyway listening to Charles fantasies about our future spouses is quite amusing

-

in the IAN which unfortunately got its door repaired... (so i cant go there and study anymore)

-

---

anyway a church later, and oh my

-

Gibson HummingBird =)

-

AWESOME,

-

The tone/look/action/feel/sustain is incredible

-

but i don't really like the neck though(too fat), Taylor necks still are the best

-

Pictures:

Me camwhoring with it

-

Close up of the glorious Gibson headstock

-

and the beautiful body and pickguard, fretboard inlays and everything

-

---

haha if i get a DREADNOUGHT guitar in the future i might consider getting one of these babys

-

either that or a martin , although they really look unattractive and plain.

(unfortunately taylor dreadnoughts don't really meet the mark)

-

but the Taylor GS might be nice though... 

-

then again before I get another acoustic I'll probably get my Fender Tele electric first

-

haha

---

Petrina Cheng's westlife songs are awesome

-

along with this program

www.Simplifymedia.com

-

that allows you to privately share the ENTIRE itunes library over the net with friends

for FREE

no ads

no other rubbish

FREE

-

IMBA lah

-

but the song 'mandy' makes me feel uncomfortable ... poo

sounds too much like someone's name

-

I'm so glad i didn't have that song in my itunes last year

-

or it'll be emoland for me for a longer time

---

seeing is believing

or is believing seeing? 

-

lets not go into ToK on this 

talk to me...

some random musings 

and random poetry (haha it seems trendy to post emo poems on blogs)

-

if you still remember me 

and if you still know me...

or have I just became part 

of the background of the sac?

-

look away to see nothing

move away to feel nothing

and maybe we could just say

shut the mind to think of anything

-

and maybe there was a time

maybe I was just blind

it was just you and me

and maybe just some bubble tea

-

and I'll still be happy

I'll just pretend to never see

never never emo please

it is just some foul disease...

-

if God wills He'll make it be

and if not, just let it be...

for He knows what's best in everything

but still, won't you talk to me?

-

---

worship is an offering of oneself,

-

surrender... sacrifice

-

---

something different,special, new, passionate,

-

and yet tangible, real, presence

-

I was worried it'll be too 'showy' and distracting, esp since when  i told a number of Y5s the reaction was quite stunned

-

but God still came and ministered

-

---

burdens to carry, the keyboard is heavy

-

infinite surds, at the root of everything

-

C3-06 is a fun place to be

esp when there are 3 hours of free periods

-

---

 

signs

that which gives direction, confirmation and assurance...

-

---

but if you want it that way, so be it

-

it doesn't matter in the end... 

-

---

a butterfly is a love note folded in two

what I see in it certainly is true

but I've learnt that whatever I do

He knows and cares too...

-

I know there are somethings that can really hurt a friendship... I seen people emoing over it... 

Quotes:

...Just wish we could go back to what we once were...

...wish i could take it back but i can't....

-

but I think its quite silly, if nothing ever happened, why worry... a mark of a great friend is that of trust...

-

and even if certain affections and emotions aren't reciprocated, or cant go beyond a certain level... but if you really trust your friend does it matter?

-

or maybe it does... we still haven't learnt how to guard our hearts...

-

---

ah well...

-

SL math port is really chicken feed lol... imagine the torture I had last year with the HL one...

-

---

I want to laugh and smile again, and mean it

-

and I want to see the same... for everyone else

-

after all God loves us, and that is in a sense, every reason to be joyful

-

---

should I wait for a sign to see, silly it may be, to sleep , sing songs...(sibilance)

-

or free from false flattery and hope, and flee(fricatives)

-

oh well...

stumbling blocks

asking around on something lead me to know something...

-

and I feel really bad now =( sorry I didn't realise...

-

oh well

-

why is the world always emoing... over the same thing...

-

and I guess that's why... God never said yes to it... wait...

-

and waited i have , and I think I understand a bit

-

I guess we need to learn how to guard one's heart, and honour that of other people 

-

=)

judge not, lest ye be judged...

...and the pride of life....

-

---

no one understands me, no one other than He who understands us to the depths of our hearts...

-

---

I dont want to.... I really don't...

-

---

the heart of service to God, and how it is marked by dedication and faithfulness to serve God in every circumstance...

-

but I cannot know and I will not know...

-

---

...did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him...(John 3:17)

-

the heart of God is that of forgiveness, of grace and mercy.. undeserved love...

-

and therefore... since we are forgiven... we ought to forgive others as well...

-

lest we be like the man in the parable of the unmerciful servant... who owed his master a lot but was forgiven... yet he refused to forgive the one that owed him little...

-

---

everyone needs forgiveness

-

even me...

---

"its standard... cannot..."

-

"you brought everything upon yourself"

-

"clear cut calling..."

"... was a well known double face.... social experiment..."

-

irony indeed...

-

why is the world like this... even our Christian brothers and sisters... we still don't see the love of Christ...

-

---

"...see talents put to better use..."

-

or nothing at all

-

---

nothing and nothing at all

-

---

we will never see God move in a powerful way, unless we seek forgiveness... and forgive one another... because we were first loved... we love others...

-

---

-

which is why... even if we preach fire and brimstone... we must never preach from a "holier than thou..." attitude or even appear to do so

-

never to mock at others... never to put down others... to rebuke in a manner that is Christ-like...

-

---

if we read the Word of God

we see

He is Sovereign... 

the God of the blessings... 

the God of the pain

-

we see

He is Love

-

we see that He is a God of Wrath and judgement.

-

but because we subject ourselves under the Law of love... the grace of God shown through Jesus Christ, and not unto the Law that brings about death and judgement

-

we therefore should live according to the law of love...

-

and if we love God... we would keep His commandments... the greatest being

-

"love one another..."

Free Radical Substitution

Initiation:

when the trouble started

---

Propagation:

a few exchanges...

---

Termination:

Halogenoalkane... a pollutant...

---

Further propagation

it seems that one could remove the offending chlorine with another...

---

Termination

except you realise sooner or later this probably will be the result....

-

sighz

why cant there be hydrogen radicals... to be the old alkane 

-

---

halogens are highly electronegative... they draw away electrons from the methyl/hydrocarbon group they are attached to

-

fluorine is the most highly electronegative atom there is

-

oh well, at least this can be revision for chemistry... and I don't like chemistry because there is uncertainty...

-

falling into a trap and desperately trying to get out of it...

stranger

random quote of the day:

"That's the biggest vagina I've ever seen"(Cielo during bio class, we were watching a reproduction video that was showing labour/delivery)

-

er.... 

no comment...

---

I have nothing, save the impending exams for which I have really no mood to study for

-

---

I don't want to lead too many times, because of what was said before... if leading was to put me under the scrutiny of a dozen or so judgemental eyes, I'll rather be on my own... I'll rather let someone else do it

-

---

if so... well

time for another time...

-

4 hour free periods dont make sense

-

sense doesnt seem like sense anymore...

-

see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing

---

"Welcome to the New facebook"

or the New layout for Emil's Blog - using a custom layout template

-

3 columns

-

and I unfortunately cannot implement a "back the the old blog"

-

feedback appreciated

-

---

 I don't like HATE working with CSS... 

Parallels

but maybe I'm wrong.. REALLY wrong =(

---

I remember an old post of mine

-

A statement, up to you to interpret:

1) Who the "you" refers to
2) What the 3 words are

-

I might as well admit that that statement was very loaded

-

since a year has past...

I might as well just make myself plain(or milk chocolate):

"Love Faith and Hope" - to everybody

"I am Sorry" - to XL then

and a 3rd statement... and nothing came of it anyway... 

Tim/Dan/John/Zhuo'er would probably know/guessed correctly, and maybe a few others...

-

---

bigger cookies indeed... 

-

oh well...

-

I cant believe its been 1 whole year since then...

-

---

The irony about Occam's razor is that it requires one to take the least assumptions

-

however I seem to be making a LOT of assumptions in trying to deny a particular manner of thinking...

who else anyway?

Recording A4 440Hz in natural voice??? lol

LOL i just realised I recorded A4 440Hz in natural voice

-

and I apparently can hit up to C5 without too much straining at the end of the day

-

lol this is really unnatural

I could be an alto at this rate if I had the correct tone

-

Poo, but i cant hit anything below C3, unless its early morning

---

tiring day, church, Guitar hero/Frets, Bio mugging, Recording, picking up my sister's Bf from the airport(and getting to eat TCC =)

-

anyway think I'll give my guitar a middle name, since Tim keeps calling it wrongly. 

-

T. K. Taylor =P

-

I want a F. T. (Fender Telecaster) electric guitar. lol

Fender Tele =)

-

lol, and as usual, as the convention for my guitars I'll probably name it after a person I know, after i get it =p.

how cool would that be...

-

Emil is feeling a little high now, haha must be the effect of whacking insanely high notes

-

---

Facebook videos, John, Zhuo'er

-

and some random nonsense with being named a sewage plant by Pet Liam via superpoke

-

and some random impostor with too much time in his hands pretending to be me(and saying the old account got hacked. Either ways, I'm not going to bother... my real friends will bother to ask me who the real person is anyway... and eventually the impostor will get bored. or if he doesn't, good for him, he can go and fail his exams...

-

So for that matter don't bother asking me/telling me about the Fake Facebook Fiend From some Fantasy if you already know. (i.e. KENNETH)

-

I'm not going to bother

-

hopefully I'll wake up happy tmr(or in a few hours time)... I don't want to emo anymore...

won't you let me know...

Violet hill - Coldplay

-

Was a long and dark December

From the rooftops I remember

There was snow

White snow

-

Clearly I remember

From the windows they were watching

While we froze

Down below

-

When the future's architectured

By a carnival of idiots on show

You'd better lie low

-

If you love me

Won't you let me know?

-

Was a long and dark December

When the banks became cathedrals

And the fox

Became God

-

Priests clutched onto bibles

Hollowed out to fit their rifles

And the cross was held aloft

-

Bury me in honour

When I'm dead and hit the ground

A love back home unfolds

-

If you love me

Won't you let me know?

-

I don't want to be a soldier

Who the captain of some sinking ship

Would stow, far below

-

So if you love me

Why'd you let me go?

-

I took my love down to Violet Hill

There we sat in snow

All that time she was silent still

-

So if you love me

Won't you let me know?

-

If you love me,

Won't you let me know?

-

---

the second coldplay song i posted on this blog so far... the other being "the scientist"

-

strangely every song has its own subtle meanings behind it... more often than not people aren't as direct as Wilfred Owen in making their points...

-

---

Friends make a happy Emil, (:

-

having Fun whacking Frets on Fire with Fab (notice the fricatives?)

in the afternoon after BS outside the admin room

-

(anyway it was modified and zhnged to become almost as good as guitar hero haha)

-

while being alone doesn't help...

-

while looking for more songs to get for frets , bumped into this song anyway...

-

oh well...