the world could do with less emo people =)

but when tmr is over... haha, it seems like I'll just end up mugging like siao

-

CAS EE TOK IA

-

and whacking all the IA

-

and trying not to think of stuff... I guess it can wait... if God wills things to happen it will happen,

and if not, it'll be good also

-

---

but I'm still kinda worried about stuff, think I'm falling sick in a not so nice way(like something more than fever cough if you get what I mean)

-

oh well but I guess God will take care...

-

its really strange, when God seems to always tell us not to hold on to stuff, because He is sovereign, in our weakness His strength is seen

-

ah well

-

I shall try not to feel sad after I leave the school, if things are left the way it is... 

-

---

Here I am, O God

I bring this sacrifice, my open heart

I offer up my life

-

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends

Restores me again

-
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
-
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You...

Mochi Ice Cream

"I don't like mushy songs" (Me)

"its MARSHEE, not MOO SHEE, MOO SHEE sounds like the japanese ice cream"(Shaun the .10 one)

"lol but its mo-chi(chee) ice cream, not moo shee"(Me)

---

oh well...

-

Pharmacology: 

different drugs can interact with each other to create adverse effects

-

at least that's what we were studying in biology, about how Cyclosporine can interact with grapefruit juice or something.

-

---

oh well...

I was rather erm... unsettled after learning about the DV joining us...

-

oh well... its strange because of the way things are...

-

like its backstage, at the circle seats, in front, at the sides.

---

along with juxtaposition of the emo song and mushy song

-

Walk down that lonesome road....

Never never change....

Don't turn your head, back over your shoulder... 

Wont you please arrange it, cause I love you

Above the trees...

With each word, your tenderness grows

If i had closed my mouth and open my eyes

and the laugh that wrinkles your nose, touches my foolish heart

Carry on, never feel sorry for yourself... it doesn't save you from your troubled mind...

-

Ah well, I really don't like singing either one of those songs...

-

---

facades are what we put up on to hide what we think and feel away from other people, most people know you by your facade not the 'real you'

-

there are very few people whom I've shown just a little of what i really am actually.

-

its not that we are trying to be fake by putting up facades

its just that, the world is such a cruel place that we can never show out true self without getting hurt...

-

Only God knows our hearts... Psalms 139... Lord You have searched me and You know me...

Cost

"...I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..."(Philippians 3:8-9)

-

I remember the vision the ministry, to stir up revival, at the cost of EVERYTHING, grades, successes, emotions...

-

and the thoughts that come which are to be put to death...

-

---

more than a year later, i look back.... I have lost a lot, not because of service, not because of i did something to contribute...

-

but because of circumstances beyond my control, and because of some wrong choices i made

-

not like I was not expecting that... but I cannot be too bitter about it...

-

I realise what has been making me so tired... is the fact that I have to consistently deny myself, my thoughts, my pride, my emotions... anything that does not glorify God

-

and its really tiring....

-

and yet I have yet to see something spectacular happen yet, if it does come, it would be worth it all...

-

"...The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.

Blessed be the name of the LORD...."(Job 1 : 21)

-

In the end when all is said and done, it does not matter... nothing matters , except that I am loved by God... even when insults are hurled at me, even if what i do goes unappreciated, even if I'm not given any respect whatsoever...

-

I have a feeling, I still have more to lose...

but God, will I have something for once, that it may glorify Your name...?

-

"For My ways are not your ways, and My thoughts are not yours"(Isaiah 55:8)

-

"...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future..."(Jeremiah 29 :11)

---

but again.. sometimes I just want to heck everything , throw restrain to the wind, and rebel against the constraints I put up myself, think the way I want to think, do the way I want to do...

-

"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."(Luke 9:62)

-

"Don't turn your head ... back over your shoulder..."

Today,

other than a stupid MOE survey today (which i managed to capture screen by screen, and probably will be dissecting when I feel like it), there was choir..

-

---

"you know when I was a boy , when we sang this(Turot eszik a cigany), we used to changed the words a bit, but don't repeat this"(Mr Phua)

-

"KNNB CCB"(click for definition by TalkingCock.com)

-

LOL it really does fit perfectly

-

albeit VERY vulgar, although fitting to such a vulgar sounding song

-

Tu	-	rot	es	-	zik	a	ci	-	gany
K	-	N	N	-	B	C	C	-	B

---

anyway we didnt sing the mushy song today, but we sang the emo song, "That Lonesome Road"

-

"Don't turn your head... back over your shoulder"

-

how fun.

-Isn't it what we try to do sometimes? I wonder...

oh well...

"I like ***" choir...

dinner with Mdm Yong was rather interesting lol

-

although at a number of points I felt a bit left out... bio oly talks...

-

and discussing a number of things

-

---

and talking about fellow classmates

-

"I like ***"

*me gives Tim the look

-

"I like ***"

*me looks at Tim again

-

"I really like ***"

*looks at Tim for the 3rd time

-

lol

so much for that...

old things..., old times...

-

---

"=== has been looking moody"

"I told  ===, no point wasting sleep over a guy"

-

er..., you mean the only reason a girl can look emo is over a guy? and vice versa?

At least, that is, if academic performance is taken out of the question...

-

ah well, I shall refuse to try to formulate theories...

---

mushy songs

(http://5implyworship.blogspot.com/2008/04/song-of-joy.html)

-

"you need to really mean the words you say, think of somebody..."

(E. Wan)

-

dotz... I try not to think about certain things that are real, because they will either make me feel sad , or will make me feel confused.

-

E.Wans suggestion of Bratt Pitt and Angelina Jolie didn't sound good(I generally don't watch movies... and either way I don't think they look that great.) 

So I tried looking at Sze Jet's sister (aka Sze min in the audience), before i started laughing silently, and gave up... shall leave the mushy thinking to the real concert...

-

I don't like singing mushy songs... period...

-

---

Japanese tongue twisters and flowers

"Noyosa"

"Hana"

-

Hungarian Gypies(aka 'the machine gun' according to Levin) 

"Turot eszik a cigany"

-

Filipino men drooling(according to translation)

"Rosa Pandans"

-

Indian Raga

"Desh"

-

Latin Missa Brevis movement

"Credo"

-

"a.k.a. learn another few languages in a few days" (Feli's blog)

lol, I agree too... but either way, its something that one gets used to after 5 1/2 years in choir...

-

---

Charity cafe

Nintendo Wii Guitar hero and rahbits...

was rather fun =)

---

oh well...

-

dead tired... Final EE/World Lit to amend/print, IOC to mug, Chem/Bio prac reports to complete for submission...

-

and gruelling Choir sessions... 

-

bleah...

The Road Less Travelled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

---

On the bright side I don't need to study this for IOC

but oh well... its a nice poem... all the same

Occam's razor

make the least assumptions...

-

and try to put it in a light in which "gives the worse case"

-

---

"you think you very funny is it?"

sighs...

-

---

if nothing is done, nothing will come of nothing...

-and if I break the restrains which I put upon myself, a lot will happen, 

but i risk screwing up everything...

-

oh well...

-

wish I could stop thinking...

-

with my completed ToK FINAL submission, Q10... with the thesis: "Emotions control all others ways of knowing"

oh well... I don't want to yet i want to

playing the game of hide and peek...

A Letter of Complaint

SMRT feedback form on a rather horrible experience I had this morning while taking 963 to church. 

---

http://www.smrt.com.sg/contact_us/contact_us.asp

---

Enquiry : Feedback relating to Bus
From 

(Last Name) : ***

(First Name): ***

Email: ***

Contact number : ***

Subject: Complain against inappropriate behaviour of bus captain

---

Please provide us more information

Boarding Point: Upp Bukit Timah Rd - Bef Hazel Pk Terrace, Stop Number:4311

Alighting Point: Telok Blangah Rd - Bef Christian Comm Chapel, Stop Number: 14159

Bus Registration Plate TIB1143Y

Service no. 963

Date 20th July 2008

Time 10:40am

Ez Link Card no. ***

Message:

-

I would like to complain against the behaviour of the bus captain towards me while I was on the bus. A few stops after I boarded the bus, the bus captain stopped the bus at the stop: "Hillview Ave - Hillview Hts, Stop Number: 43267" approached me , and very loudly scolded me in mandarin and demanded that I not obstruct the aisle with my legs, or he would throw me out of the bus. I complied, but the manner in which he conveyed the message was completely uncalled for, I decided to take down the bus registration number. He then became very agitated and shouted at me again, before returning to the driver seat and refusing to start the bus for about 5 minutes. I then had to approach him and request that he start the bus. He then demanded to know why I scolded him, when I had not. I replied that I did not scold him, but he in fact had been the one who had been scolding me.

-
At the next stop, he again stopped the bus, approached me, demanded to know whether i was a student, and insisted that I surrender my student pass to him. I eventually did, at this point, a extremely agitated commuter approached him and shouted at him demanding that he start the bus and stop wasting time.
-
I am very appalled by the behaviour of the bus captain. I believe that as a commuter I have a right to be treated with respect, and the way I was treated by the bus captain certainly was disgraceful. While the bus captain has a right to request that I not obstruct the aisle, shouting at me was not necessary. Additionally his subsequent behaviour of refusing to start the bus was totally inappropriate as he caused inconvenience to a large number of commuters, as he wasted the time of the commuters.
-
I sincerely hope that this case is an isolated incident and will not repeat itself. I believe in good faith that SMRT will look into the matter and take appropriate action against the bus captain

---

-

Either way I'm not going to bother retelling the story, you can just look at the feedback form to get an idea.

-

but after that I met Keng Liang on the next stop and i told him a little bit about the incident, and he got his details from his gf who was at the back of the bus. at any rate he agreed that is was rather uncalled for.

-

not like i was doing a "eating on the mrt" stunt that one of my friends did and got murdered by the school.

-

---

oh well this certainly ruined my day.

-

---

at any rate, i got this immediately mailed to my email:

Thank you for your email

-

Thank you for dropping us a line. We will look into your feedback and get

back to you.

For more information on our services and initiatives, please visit
www.smrt.com.sg


Yours Sincerely,
Customer Relations Centre
SMRT Corporation Ltd

Tel: 1800 336 8900

For items lost and found on:                    For feedback on:
SMRT Trains,call:       6767 3300                       SMRT Trains, call:      1800 336 8900
SMRT Buses,call:        1800 336 8900           SMRT Buses, call:               1800 3368900
SMRT Taxis,call:        6555 8888                       SMRT Taxis, call:               6555 8888

This is a computer-generated message. Please do not reply to this message.

-

-

talk about retardedness

-

oh well...

Random Email- The Pay and Pay (PAP) government - Electronic Road Pricing(ERP) Hikes aka Every Road Pay/Everyday Rob People

SINGAPORE ERP SYSTEM IN YEAR 2010

SINGAPORE ERP SYSTEM IN YEAR 2015 

Don't be too happy, this will be next. 

And next   

doctrines

its strange how much I've been exposed to a lot of weird doctrines, from the net, from friends , and church and even my sister(who's a catholic)

-

but somehow God has been merciful, and He has always lead me back to what some people might call "orthodox" in a sense

-

---

1st doctrine: Prosperity Gospel

-

I accepted Christ in a Pentecostal Church, Trinity Christian Centre (Adam Road)

-

needless to say there were some influences there, but I never really took note of it, although I eventually left church for about 1 year+

-

and even after I joined Grace Methodist Church, which according to Huck Finn could be called a mulatter, and according to chem a racemic mix

-

half the people are ANTI- prosperity Gospel

the other half are for

-

haha

-

I believe God wants to bless us =p

-

but my definition of blessing can be found in (Matthew 5:1-11) , blessed are the poor, those who mourn ..... etc

-

---

Unitarianism - denial of the trinity

-

i read online doctrines before, but none of them seem convincing, esp since pauls writing, the "doxology" mentions the trinity

-

---

eternal salvation w/o receiving Christ

-

read some weird doctrine that a person does not have to receive Christ on earth...

which was rather convincing

-

the sermon in church the next day in  church (Sunday) debunked the entire doctrine...

---

Catholic Doctrine:

my sister -whose arguments are very convincing

-

but some of the central dogma of the catholic church...  i have reservations, such as the concept of the "sinless Mary" , "queen of heaven".

-

and purgatory

the problem of purgatory is that it DENIES the ultimate saving power of Jesus sacrifice on the cross, the "one perfect and pleasing sacrifice", that we still need to atone for our sins through purgatory

-

---

oh well

sometimes maybe its just better to have a simple faith

-

like God is love, God is a just God but he gives mercy

-

and God will take care... we just need to commit every thing in prayer to Him...

-

and the gospel... while we can know a lot about apologetics, theology and doctrines, but we can NEVER fully comprehend the gospel, of how God crushed His only begotten Son for our sake...

not sure...

not sure how I'm feeling now in a sense

-

neither here nor there...

-

so it should be anyway

-

---

oh well

-

when will reality sink in?

-

when i realise I have less than 3 months in school left... =(

-

...what are stupid things? ...

love is a choice

I have wrote this statement a number of times, in my blog over the past 1.5 years.

- 

and you cannot love, unless you have a choice... which is why God gave us a choice...

-

friendship is a choice... and well...

---

(password protected),

but I'll give the password to any friends who asks, just drop me an msn

-

heh, I seem to be upsetting a lot of people lately

-

sighs...

-

You'll Come

Bridge

Chains be broken

Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
-

Verse 1:
I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord
My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord
-
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears
-

Chorus
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come
-

Verse 2:
We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord
-
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures
-
Chorus:

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

-

---

Surely the Lord will come, and when He does, everything wont matter, because it'll be worth it all

-

because He can do everything, and in everything God is most important, in our lives, no matter what we worry about , we know that in all things, God still matters the most. and absolutely nothing can ever separate us from His Love, and that is all matters in the end

-

"...cannot do without you"(chapel)

actually , no, we don't matter in the sense that we are not indispensable, God does not need us to do anything, but because of His grace , He lets us serve Him... and His strength is made perfect in our weakness

-

and even if we get frustrated at what happens, even if we don't understand why it happened that way, we always know,... in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose(Romans 8:28)

-

---

haha, I should stop emoing, anyway apparently XL and Audrey found my guitar =) grats

-

thank God for everything He's given to me, and what He will give me

-

and thank God for everything He's taken away, and what He will take away...

S.Quo

1st thing... I LEFT MY GUITAR IN SCHOOL, oh crap!!!

-

hopefully it'll still be there tmr

-

zzz

---

goes to show how tired I am, cant even remember to take my guitar...

-

and I highly doubt the tiredness is caused by physical stress, an infinite amount of sleep doesn't help at all... I overslept on both saturday and sunday, and spent an entire day sleeping before...

-

sighz....

-

I need to get work done, I cannot delude myself and enter into a state of escapism, like what happened last year

-

evidently something is seriously wrong

-

zzz

-

and tim isn't around... =(

-

---

maybe i should withdraw from choir and FireAC, maybe that will help a bit... but seesh, only 2 weeks of choir left

and well i dunno, God has placed in FireAC, so I shouldn't either..., maybe a sabbatical is in order though...

---

oh well

-

Emil is Happy, and energetic, and is going to get 45 points for IB =)

-

and let things remain as they are, because nothing is wrong... and nothing ever happened before... =)

-

---

...Oceania was not after all at war with Eurasia. Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Eurasia was an ally...

(1984)

twenty-nine

ah well

one more thing to emo about...

disgraceful Bio results... 

MISSING a pass for math by 1 mark!!!! 49/100 =.=

-

on the bright side... 6 points for Geog

-

oh well

this sucks...

-

thank God its over then...

Someday

Someday, we will see His face

Someday, we will be in that place

Someday, when all tears are wiped away

That day, Your name I will praise...

-

Someday, there won't be disgrace

Someday,  when fears have left the place

Someday, when Jesus will take us home

That day, Your name I will praise

-

Someday, all will be revealed

Someday, we will finally know

Someday, we'll know that He cares 

That Day, Your name I will praise

-

Someday, every knee will bow

Someday, every tongue confess

Someday, we'll declare that He is Lord

That day , Your name I will praise

-

© 2008 Songs4Him, Emil Ng

-

---

sighs... wishes... and hopes

strange... again... how things are...

-

sighz, I shouldn't waste so much time on facebook...

-

and knowing that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

-

---

Recorded with the Macbook Pro internal mic and my dear Asahi Classical Guitar.... the first guitar I got to play with properly

-

mind the the "fuzz" and the rather lousy singing, C3 isn't my favourite note to hit... too low for my liking...

knots and thoughts

'tis strange

that because of what happened last year... 

I'm not sure... ...

-

---

the "... ... ..."s that used to plague this blog while Emil was still relatively emo

represented 3 syllables... 

-

oh well

bury the past... move on...

-

'tis strange..., that its easy to take note of strange things , like Mcdonalds plastic bags that one never used to give a second look... clearly i don't understand "I'm lovin' it" since it doesn't make sense...

---

'tis strange..., that its easy to stick around certain people, and then again... as the Chinese proverb goes :

"爱屋及乌"

-

---

a life that is all knotted up

-

things that make change

-

"who is ... ... ... 's boyfriend?"(Pasta Store Aunty)

"which ... ... ...?"

"the one that always stick around John and Daniel"

"she doesnt have a boyfriend... she used to have long ago but they broke up"

"who?"

"why you want to know?"

-

like I mentioned... i really dislike gossip

-

---

helping Jayne with her macbook stuff(nuts sia, replace a 6 month Old Acer with a Macbook?)

-

interludes... 

-

...surface runoff is the movement of water down slope on the surface of the earth...

-

---

"Hey Emil you clicking or playing today?"(Qi)

-

lol how apt... if I'm not clicking I'm playing... ...

-

which is quite true... I spend more time clicking or playing on stage during church service each month nowadays compared to actually sitting for a service...

-

---

ah well...

-

I miss talking to you... ... sighz

fezekla

really annoyed... sighz

-

and i hope it doesn't matter

-

even if people don't do as well as they expected... 

-

but seriously it was really ANNOYING, i after all was trying to show concern, even IF YOU THINK that I was being insensitive...

-

---

maybe i shouldn't raise my voice too much after that...

-

even if i want to vent my frustrations

-

poo

'I love You'

one of those phrases that should be spammed a bit more
-
and meant... in full sincerity, not just the wishy washy kind of puppy love and infatuations
-
but a love that extents beyond the human understanding
-
"Love your neighbour as yourself"
-
AGAPE in other words... the unconditional giving of self without expecting in return
-
I love all my friends =)
-
(and unlike John Tay who has acute gynophobia, I don't have problems saying I love ALL my friends... save the all too problematic implications of such statements =p )

---

-
"Dear God
I really love my friend... I promise to keep him in my prayers every day, .... that You would open his heart to You... I pray you hold me accountable for his salvation on the day of judgement(*gasps go around)... Amen"(Dan during FireAC)
-
on the other hand if we ask anything in the will of God, He will surely hear us.(1 John 5:14-15)
-

---

today
-
I dunno if i should be happy about it,... at least for once I didn't see something to make me cringe a bit...
-
a total waste of time during PC class, some NE talk:
but the QnA session was interesting:
"Sir, Surely you remember the James Gomez incident... CCTV clearly showed his not submitting his documents.... On the other hand, there is no video showing Mas Selamat and how he escaped... What are your thoughts on it?" (Charles, in the midst of a lot of clapping)
-
as well as a number of attacks against the PAP government policies, from defamation suits, press freedom issues, and the lot, the poor PS of MCYS only gave pathetic  gah-men responses...
-
haha, the poor PS probably had an easier time in other JCs and Polytechnics, however ACSI was a nightmare...
-
this question would have topped it if it was asked though, although I decided against asking it in the end, since I wouldn't get any reasonable answer anyway...:
"Sir, In light of the recent rise in cost of living, and taking into account that Singapore already has one of the world's highest minister pay, how do you justify the recent increment of minister pay?"
-
ah well 
-
as long as gah-men do a good job I don't care how they do it(pragmatism), however, sucking the blood of the taxpayers and taking a atrociously high pay is a little too much though... the ministers ALREADY have a surplus of disposable income...; so even increasing their pay does not help the economy...
-
and telling us to "tighten the belt" as well, nice 7% GST, nice dunno what else, all go into your pocket...
-
poo
-

Annoyances

I cannot stand random gossip sometimes, it really gets on my nerves

-

---

tenor sectional break:

taking one of those wonderful power naps that do wonders after waking

-

before Sze Jet, JS, and another one of the guys came in, door wide open(the door closer was spoilt)

-

and I sort of got woken up...:

"hey *** is here"(Js)

"where got 3 guys after one girl one"(Jet)

"how about your darling  ***"

-

"shut up and let me sleep"(me)

-

---

last year, during Geog Class around  Feburary 2007:

-

"hey ***, I heard you kissed ***"(Zhe Xian)

-

evidently it got impressed in my head since I still remember it too vividly, even though it was more than 1 year ago... orange rubber shavings and all... although there really isn't any point digging up old painful memories...

---

Around Janurary 2008

" you know you shouldn't say such things when it isn't true, might stumble another person"(Chng)

-

---

heh in my opinion

there should be a 3rd primer rule:

No thinking about BGR

-

and make this THOUGHTCRIME

-

would make life a lot easier( and harder)

-

it doesn't take much discipline to restrain oneself into getting into a r/s, all it actually needs is one word, "NO"

-

but its takes a lot more to keep one's focus on God alone, and even beyond r/s , there are so many other 'worldly' things that can get in the way as well

-

---

or maybe I'm being double minded

like many, its always interesting to ask: why cant we have both God and that someone special?

-

perhaps, if I had hindsight, I might see things differently

-

"touch the kettle and find that it is hot"(Tim)

-

and there never was a hard and fast rule in the first place, other than putting God first and putting Him in everything.

-

oh well

-

---

"and if you try to hold me down I'm gonna spit look in your eye and say___ you cant stop the beat"(choir song - You Cant Stop The Beat, with censored lyrics)

- 

choreography, dancing was embarrassing - why cant we let the DANCE vienna dance for us??

although it was a little fun I must say...

-

---

a cascade of short interchanges and acknowledgements...

"Such is the most excellent foppery of the world"(Edmund in King Lear)

-

the Koi Pond and Fountain...

"Love this water! Stay with it! Learn from it "(Siddartha)

-

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word became flesh ..."(John Tay during FireAC)

-F**k!

the word  became flesh

-from henceforth thou shalt be known as F**k"(Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha)

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evidently EA1 has messed up my thinking

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"Cielo I dare you to go to a super market and buy nothing but a pregnancy test kit and..." (Mong)

Human Chronic Gonadothrophin is produced by the blastocyst to signal the corpus luetem not to degenerate. This forms the basis of pregnancy test kits...(Bio notes)

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and Bio too apparently.

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oh well... how annoying

bittersweet

old school uniforms bring back a myriad of memories...

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and the "change parade" was cute...

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but I should stop thinking about the past and move on... 

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" *** *** was super mean to me"

"he just had to do that"

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I can choose to interpret many things in many ways...; skewer the interpretation of human behaviour to fit a desired thought

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"I think therefore I am"

but what "I think" is not necessarily associated with the reality

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therefore Emil will not interpret...

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but its weird when friends start not talking/avoiding out of nowhere

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makes it seem as if something is wrong

-

again, processing the levels on which a "knowledge is acquired"

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1.Perception (subject to the unreliability of sense perception influenced by emotions)

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2.Logical interpretation(subject to unreliability of logic; a tendency to commit fallacies, due to the emotional influence on the cognitive field?)

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FireAC meeting that was two hours LONG???

although a lot of stuff were cleared up

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and choir being even longer???

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and i see the "handover" nonsense again, i had enough on that: see this post last year

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"oh i call Petrina Cheng piggy"(Petty Poo/aka penguin)(Pet Liam)

lol

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I must remember to call her(Petrina Cheng) that from now on... lol

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and a display of utter randomness

(12:00 AM) .`petrina:	quite cool. .`petrina says: (11:59:59 PM)
(12:00 AM) .`petrina:	59:59  1 second away from 12:00:00!  so cool

lol, petrina is crazy

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bittersweet , to say the least

looks like it anyway...

Every Little Thing - Delirious?

a little video from Delirious?

to be disbanded in 2009 end

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Verse 1

Everything must change

There’s a mirror showing me the ugly truth

These bones they ache with holy fire

But I’ve got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

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Chorus

Every little thing’s gonna be alright

Every little thing’s gonna be alright [x2]

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Verse 2

There’s no-one else to blame

I live my life between the fire and the flame

I’ve built my house where the ocean meets the land

It’s time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand

Let your world be full of colour

I will carry you, if you carry me

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Bridge

When it’s all falling down on you

You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two

When it’s all crashing down on you

When there’s nothing you can do

There is someone who can carry you

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Written by Martin Smith/Stuart Garrard 

©2003 Curious? Music UK 

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---

the song writer Martin Smith who brought us songs like: 

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I could Sing of Your Love Forever

Did You feel the Mountains Tremble

Majesty

Rain Down

History Maker

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among many more

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Everything is gonna be alright... God will take care... 

-i wonder who? again...

ah well..

New Tagboard

Or rather I removed the old one in favour of Blogger's improved comment implementation feature

(it rivals wordpress now, yay =) )

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its still works similarly like a tagboard.

comments, aka tags, will be shown at the sidebar. 

Comments above 300 characters will be truncated though

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For blogger users wondering how I implemented it:

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1. Sign into blogger in draft (draft.blogger.com) 

- select option to embed the comment field within the post under Settings→ Comments

2. Enable Comment RSS/atom feed

- Settings→ Site feed → Advance Mode → Blog Comment Feed → Full

3. Custom Javascript Widget (do a Google search for "Blogger Recent Comment widget")

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feel free to leave your thoughts about the new tagboard system.

on msn Scams

receiving this out of nowhere in msn:

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-----------------; says :

http://----.imageswitch.info

(protecting the identity of the person, but it happens to be a choir person in Y7) 

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at any rate, i decided to check it out, over my mac(which happily does not get plagued by all these retarded viruses)

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I noticed:

http://----.imageswitch.info 

and

http://www.imageswitch.info 

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are the same webpage.

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go ahead and take a look if you want, but don't stupidly "sign up"

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*anyway after the investigation I did a google and found it listed in PhishTank, a site that documents phishing websites: 

*screenshot:

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and they ask you to sign in with the .net passport

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i typed a bogus id, and it returned error

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created a dummy .net passport

and again returned error

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then i noticed:

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- By logging in you accept the Terms and Conditions -

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clicking on it revealed several insights:

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*This page is not affiliated with or operated by Microsoft(tm) or MSN Network(tm). 

We may temporarily access your MSN account to do a combination of the following:

1.  Send Instant Messages to your friends promoting this site. 

2.  Introduce new entertaining sites to your friends via Instant Messages. 

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and the best:

This is not a "phishing" site that attempts to "trick" you into revealing personal information. 

Everything we do with your information is disclosed here.

-

yup except they make the font so erm... hard to read,
and considering no body takes effort to read EULAs nowadays
-
I'll sure will be signing on, since I want my msn account to be stolen and made use for spam purposes
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seriously the next time a person sends you a random msn out of nowhere , like:

"hey is that you *random URL*"

or 

"check out tis kool sheetz *random URL*"

-

do a few things, ask the person whether he wrote that

or

check it out with a SECURE BROWSER

which means

1. Firefox 2+

2. IE7 (not 6) with PROTECTED MODE on

3. Safari

4. Opera

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and if it downloads some exe, bat, msi or executable file , DONT open it

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or your msn account might turn into some mindless spambot

-

additionally, NEVER give your msn credentials to any random site or random program.

-

meebo/ebuddy/pidgin/Trilian/Mirana/Adium/Jabber transports may do, but do so at your own risk

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Love with sacrifice

Charles, today at Bs, said something to this effect

-

"true love is not without pain, nor without sacrifice"-

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shall recall more of yesterday.

-

Was shopping around Plaza Sing to get Lee Min's present, realised that practically all the stuff i was looking at( the usual stuff: notebooks, stuffed toys etc.) were darn Lousy, even too lousy for Lee Min

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so I went up to Yamaha music store, and enquired about my Yamaha music card(which expired the previous month):

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"can I renew"

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the Yamaha guy simply took my card, did some weird things at a computer POS terminal, and returned the card to me, a renewal of 2 more years, no questions asked

-

saw this really nice gig bag... haha, but it was going to be :

1. kinda suspicious if one lone Emil bought a lousy girl a present worth $ **(i wont reveal the price)

2. going to be a big hole in my pocket

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made 3 phone calls, to Tim, John, Dan, and they agreed to chip in.

-

so I buy the thing... showed my new Yamaha card.

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lol, 20% discount, a reduction of a lot of money, I remember previously the Yamaha card only gave 10%

-

unless its because of the GSS

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dumped the stuff with my mum, and went over to Parklane to get some Elixir strings from GG

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and on way back, guess who i met?

-

"eh Emil"(Lee Min)

-

"you coming for PassionAC today?"

"no I'm  not free, got dinner"

"I don't care, You better come"(I was intending to pass her the goods during PassionAC)

"but it's my Birthday dinner"

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lol I told her yesterday over msn that i was going to get her a present the next day, and was probably going out tmr to get it.

-

she's remarkably Blur

-

back to school , decided to ask Tim to do the card, but since she was "not coming today" no point rushing it right?

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---

PassionAC... Was good, despite my uncomfortableness arising from the presence and absence of some people, which manifested in the rather emo post below.

-

I loved two of the worship songs the most, 

At the Cross -(Psalms 139)

"I know You love me"

Sing(Your Love)

"Because the world cant take away... Your Love"

-

God's Love is so beautiful...

-

---

but Lee Min suddenly pops up!!!

"long story, but you know what? the saddest thing happened."

"You dinner got canceled"( I said in a matter of fact tone) 

-

had a lot of headache trying to smuggle the gigantic Yamaha bag with the big pink thing inside without attracting Lee Min's attention(I even hinted to her I was going to get her "something pink" the day before)

-

but luckily she was really BLUR

-

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went back with Petrina, and Amanda... in Petrina's dad's car

-

some random snippets of conversation

-

"my mum doesn't want me to go running around because apparently some other girl got raped"(Amanda)

-

I winced at the thought. At the same time I recalled another incident 6 years ago.

-

"I remember my sister..."

"what, your sister got raped?"

"thank goodness, no.... she apparently met with some flasher.."

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---

today... woke up late...

-

to school, BS

-

Then Daniel and I summon Tim, and he brings the card

-

John is a joke... at usual, writing: "I'm still scared of you" in Lee Min's card

-

bringing over the giant plastic bag to the sac

"what is that?"(Lee Min is still darn blur)

"oh... happy birthday Lee Min"

-

the expression on her face was worth remembering

"wah giant present, "(XL)

"wait isn't that the thing you were holding yesterday?"

-

considering she got a really nice gig bag(way better than mine, other than the fact it was pink)

-

lol

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ah well

-

Smile... 

... and the world seems to be  a brighter place...

Look around... 

... and the world seems to have a blighted face...

-

heh,

nmind...

i suppose its really nothing i guess

-

"true love is never without pain...nor without sacrifice..."

Prima Deli Chicken Pies are too sweet...

apologies for the really random blog title, couldn't think of a better one...

-

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Passion AC today ;went erm... shopping in the afternoon

-

before heading for Passion AC

-

quote removed on request

Password protected

-

prayer

-

then the food

-

accidentally bumping against alex...

-

wasn't too hungry... tried a chicken drumstick that was too salty

-

then an awesome Old Chung Kee karipok

-

then tried some of the chicken pie that Tim and Kenneth said was good

"they are THE bomb... I think they're the prima deli ones"(kenneth)

-

but they were too sweet and made me sick... ><

---

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worship... john/alex/tim/me/dan/amanda/petrina/evelyn/XL? seated in a row

-

it was weird... somehow i decided to not care about anything, yet...

-

a culture of not being "charismatic"

after all certain doctrines they promote incur heresy?

-

God was there... in the emotions

but where were You in the Spirit?

-

or maybe I'm just well...I was definitely blessed by the experience

yet something always seems to crush it all...

-

"this people... honour me with their lips....... But their hearts are far from me..."(Isa 29 :13)

-

I used to enjoy the "worship experience" ; the so called "Spiritual High"

-

why am I so sceptic now?

-

or maybe I dunno, I cannot deny a part of me... a part of me

-

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."(Matt 16:24)

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going back in petrina's car to the bus stop

-

sighz, it was a tiring day...

-

you probably know me well enough...

why cant I let go?

I have no reason to feel sad...

doublethink

after examinations, decided to do a bit of reading... chanced upon Zhuo'er's blog... 1984, which got me interested...

- 

managed to procure a pdf version of the text online(public domain)

-

at any rate... it is strangely disturbing... while Zhuo'er pointed out the stripping of the essence of a number of things from what they encompass, like sex without love(or pleasure), family without love, which, in a sense, is already found its way into the depraved society we live in, although the 'sex' part would probably relate more to Huxley's "A brave new world" (which i managed to get also, but havn't started reading)

-

but i found the more disturbing things... like the juxtaposition of sexuality with ideology, 

-

and Descarte's statement, made famous by ToK – Cogito ergo sum

: I think, therefore I am

-

a dissolution of reality, everything is in the mind, there is no reality

-

Doublethink: since everything is in the mind, lies can be truth, and truth can be lies

the concept of reconciling contradicting lies and shaping it to become true

-

---

e.g. :

"are you trying to mean I like her?, well I don't, and I never did, I only pretended I liked her..."

lies... lies... lies...

where is sincerity in all these? sigh... 

-

Romans 12:9(NIV)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

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Ministry of Fire

-

Minifire?

is that what we have become?

One more thing...

Math HL paper 2

-

before I am FREE.....

-

-

-

-

-

-

To work on my EE, ToK, World Lit and Geog IA Final^x submission, where x ⇒ ∞

as well as preparing for IOC

=.=

-

---

Evidently Bio paper 3 gave us too much time; 

I had half an hour to waste drawing this on the GDC:

Happy IB Muggers day

Today is officially Muggers day.. for me
2 Freaking retarded IB midyear Mugging subjects in 1 day, and its Tmr...

Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.
Geog.....Geog.....Geog....Geog.....Geog.....Geog....
Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.
Geog.....Geog.....Geog....Geog.....Geog.....Geog....
Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.
Geog.....Geog.....Geog....Geog.....Geog.....Geog....
Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.Biology.
Geog.....Geog.....Geog....Geog.....Geog.....Geog....

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I'm starting to get a Myocardiac Infarction¹ from all the HL Options Bio paper mugging

And Gentrification² of the mind with new Geog facts

Thanks a lot man

---

_{1. Heart attack}

_{2. Urban Renewal}

-

---

lol

You might want to check out this post:

http://5implyworship.blogspot.com/2006/11/happy-muggers-day.html

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note the similarities and differences ?

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add a fact that I'm suffering from some sort of clogging of my respiratory airway with mucus and nonsense... along with a headache... poo