Hypocrite...

Since tim has requested that I stop mentioning TK in my post, I shall refrain as far as possible
and this post isnt exactly nice to read eitherway .

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when one was complaining about someone going to school early in the morning under the excuse of doing Qt,
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yet... one goes to the astroturf on tuesday night , also under the excuse of QT. while others blasted music and talked about anything under the stars,
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and a lone one person gazed up to a starry sky , talking to God,yes , but yet, looking towards the lighted portion of the school , and gazing...
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"are you sure your sole purpose of coming here is to do QT?"
(Charles Ng)
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why should one set double standards for people?
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and why should someone else be more important than God?
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that it even seems that one is itching to initiate an msn chat, yet apparently too tired to do QT?
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and, even then?

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Looking at bearing 305⁰ while standing in the primers contingent, aware that a large number of fancinated photographers where clicking away the file left to one, the file described by Russell See as the file in which the contingent derived bad drill from (before an instinctive automatic "dont be so bad" from one)
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while had tim been behind one, a nice whack on the back and a comment that one should look at the front while doing drill... would have followed, assuming parade was not in progress
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Bus ride back,
" daniel chng , swap place please"
yet the other moved first, before chng responded... which lead one to feel terrible,... which was why one wanted to swap first.... too scared...

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one had enough, to slosh water violently at K after being so fed up, of being a loser
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and even having to play the role of a loser in the PAT videos,
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why....
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one hates himself... for being who he is...
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Leading worship, as Tim described it is to bring people to encounter God... through music, through the words one speaks...
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yet one seems to feel that at times, you particularly want one particular person to have the encounter... and places all as a benchmark? or what?
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i dunno.... i really dunno
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if emotions still grip me strongly at certain moments of time , even though the resolution is set, yet i tend to revert back...
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"You sure you can (beat XL in DotA) ar?"
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i.e. I always lose isn't it?
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I have thrashed people, even XL, in DotA when I was on form last time, i dunno about now , after a close to 1 month of not playing... and 8 months of not playing seriously( I stopped playing seriously since Os)

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okay... disclaimer, I am still rather bipolar, this post was posted in one of my low moments, so dont get too concerned...
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and most of my posts is just a random joting down of whatever comes to my head...
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And tim shall scold me for thinking too much... of ... ... ...
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Emil you disgusting bad boy, dont post spam on peoples tagboards also...
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Pointless post...