A day without rain

literarally no rain
yet more than that...

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the lonely bridge again, the hot sun...(I gave up the Koi bench, too many ppl walk pass there

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the thing that happens would be start a day badly and it tends to be bad...
maybe Tim shdnt have talked to me, maybe... esp just before I was giving a message about encoragment, about drawing stregnth from Him
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I didnt think too much about it till after assembly, 120min chinese lesson is too long, too long, and what with tangjie , sort of pressuring me to join CKROK ?
why didnt i put up much of a fight?
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"guys tend to act weird around ... ... they like"(tim)
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and I guess the next lesson was Bio, why did I act so weird... why?
and I think you dont like it either, the you can refer to more than 1 person,
E.T. probally hates me becuase of that
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on a aside:
wesley:"hey i still read your blog"
before out of nowhere:
"hey! now I know who E.T. is... Evelyn Thungaraj...!"
"you are SLOW"(me)
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utterly depressed? i dunno, it didn't help much after PE, the head turn dao (HTD)( i got to think of some weird acrymn so i can refer to it in a futher post, I need to codify my posts a bit more)
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luckily, chiam wasnt doing much in chem, most of it was free 1hour 40, talking to Tim, sitting down in the middle of the bridge gething scorched by the sun.
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"you need to be yourself"(tim)
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and i guess decided to stop being emo, whats the point anyway?
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and i guess before math =) agian, thanks,
I supposed i shd just be myself, and not try to be funny or something, as tim says "replusive"
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finally stopped the nickname dueling, but even so, ...
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and i shdnt think too much...
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outreach, and =) again i guess, and me with John tay talking
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and i saw russell , junyu, and a blue orange ACS jacket clad..., at a distance, from the boarding school, walking to the bus stop.
i dunno i was a little distracted, luckily John tay was doing most of the talking so i really was just standing there, i guess , adding little bits here and there,
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the last time i spoke during outreach together with Emily(lol) I was doing most of the conversations, i guess it depends, john tay can speak better than me
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and the detention guy, I guess a slight reminder of last year, stuck outside the office
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while John tay was going on about Sin and stuff
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yet there is one thing we need to know, not to be too trapped in that mindset, convict people of their sin if , and only if (<=> lol gina ongs class) they dont know, or are blind to it
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I guess I would call it the "naughty cycle" trap(geog porvety cycle lol)
once you are labeled as "naughty", it ios hard to break out, as in i was never labeled as such until sec3 and i guess that was why my sec3/4 were bad experiecnes with the teachers
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but one think i added which is of utmost importance
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"My grace is sufficient for you , My power made perfect in weakness"
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I think that guy needs more of an encoragment, and i guess, and I hope I gave it
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whats there in the meaning of a name?
yesterday while walking along with Tim, Tessa and Amanda C, topic about
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Timothy--> encoragment
Emil--> hardworking( irony )
Amanda--> (beloved)
Tessa???(asset backwards??? lol)
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I knew that for quite sometime already, the meaning of names, i guess , during 1 of those geog classes, and i saw a tag attached to a pencil case, near a pile of orange rubber shavings ... ... ...
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and the bus ride back with Steven, Daniel Chng, Amanda C and Tessa
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and we saw ACJC ppl, Kester,
and Tessa finds another ACJC friend (apparently called Amanda also... apparently that name is too common liao)
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and steven goes on to a animated conversation with kester... about a lot of things...
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and somehow , talking about things like ppl with relationships, scandals? and what ever rubbish.(unwholesome language and talk in other words)
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and somehow XL's name got dragged up
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Kester:" XL leh"
Steven:" ah! that one ar, no more, Charles Ng force them to break up"
*steven please get your facts right before making comments like that*
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i was a little put off by that, wish there was more wholesome topics to brooch upon
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I sort of told Steven, i dunno, i wasn't exactly ... i dunno how to say it, maybe a bit sad? I mean that was one issue I've always wondered why? yet i never dared to ask XL... (yes if whoevers is reading is not comfortable about this, I'm sorry, I dunno, ..., I'm the kind of person who doesnt like keeping thoughts and emotions bottled up.)
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"XL was very sad about it"
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"huh! why she break up? i thought she........"
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*I dont know the answer, how am i supposed to know?*
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I guess we go around criticising the schoola and teachers,( i mean if i want a decent conversation with steven thats all we can talk about)
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but i wonder.. could there be a better thing to talk about?
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i managed to ask him about church a bit a guess , glad he found a church...
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help me to glorify You in what I do
i dunno , i dont want to put on facades,
I want to be who I am
" you need to be the person that God meant you to be, then only can God work though you"(Matt last year in church youth camp)
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and i guess, lol seb yap unblocked me om MSN and talked to me
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and I dunno, I mean without Marcus Ong's influence he is better, yet... there is still a certain sense of repulsion towards him...
yet
" love the people I Love, I want you to learn that first"
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it isnt too easy sometimes
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"My grace is sufficient for you , My power made perfect in weakness"