Milo peng & Grade B Gold

Pre-Genting (Written on Sunday)
Mostly about LDC , while most of the LDC ppl are busy running around CCK cemetery now or perhaps pitching tents beside the fish farm. Oh well going Genting tmr...
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Somethings probably wrong with me If I start wishing I could stay with the LDC camp instead of Genting.... after all overseas Choir trips have brought many fond memories, living in comfort rather than facing the cold showers, the fatiguing hike and lack of sleep , L T/D C isnt nicknamed Leadership Torture/Death camp without reason ...
maybe .... because of ... you..... I wanted to stay. .
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a Futher frustration.... Mdm Ranjee explicitly banned me from bring my guitar during the trip...
sian, I dont want to part with my guitar for 5 days =(
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Post genting post
Eitherway

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Friday : After choir at 1:30P.M , made my way to Vivo City to watch a movie/ shop for hike stuff with Kenneth... no expectations on who was turning up.
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other Ppl around: Jack, Jerome, Kenneth,Yang Jian, Christine, Amanda
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Makan at Burger King... ok , watched Shrek 3 and then guided them to Giant to do Hike groceries shopping... lol am I the only on among the group who knows my way around Vivo?
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after that... made the way back to school via 166 for advance party (aka Hike and spiritual Blueprint briefing)
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Hike briefing was quite uneventful although it sort of made me half glad I wasnt staying over, what with saying that the sleeping point may be flooded etc
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Spritual Blueprint
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Okay... Charles Ng was quite... serious about this.... told us to settle any problems among ourselves before the camp, unconfessed sins, grudges, bitterness... and pray for Wing Hing.
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After which I decided to stay over that night ; I originally had wanted to go home and rest before the camp. In the end I called my sis and told her to bring the camp stuff over.
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and after that 2 people spoke to me , Kenneth sort of apologised for his bluntness at times...
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and Xunliang sort of talked to me and a lot of things suddenly made sense. Yet it also made me more confused... ...
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Confirmed a suspicion I had been having for a long time but dare not to believe... ok i dunno whether I should be happy or sad about that. although it made me glad in a sense but it also made me feel rather... confused and uncertain.
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sat under the moon light at the sec 1 corridor at the centre gazing at the moon and wondering...
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Later on Oliver Loke asked for orders or McDonalds breakfast the next morning.
I ordered a Big breakfast and specifically requested for Milo Peng, since i normally dont like hot drinks.
a Number of us also took orders ...
went to sleep in the blue level classroom after that at around 230 am
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Saturday :woke up at around 630 am and went for the day briefing. After which I proceeded to the SAC to eat my McDonalds breakfast.
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and Amanda pops by also to collect her breakfast but she has to pray at that slot XL designated in the prayer room... so she bins the breakfast up with her
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ok and i gave my Milo peng away... to her when she wanted it... out of my own free will... and settled for tea instead... ...
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went up to the prayer room after that... prayed along with Tim and Kenneth for the Camp as well as prepared the room a bit
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joined the sec 2s for check in time and watched as they rushed to prepare their uniform room
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After that the sec 2s went for drill while the primers either followed them or followed Xunliang to polish up their drill. Followed XL and watched the Girl primers learning how to salute properly for about 10 minutes
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went over to the prayer room after that for my prayer slot.... Gods presence was quite comforting in the room... felt quite peaceful as I prayed for the camp
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after that... group time and makan time... spent some time talking with Shane Russell and Ben Liau... and Ben Liau as usual was quite quiet... and seemed paler than usual... I was suspecting he wasnt feeling well.
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after which the sec2s went for a leadership talk with Oliver Loke while the primers either spent some QT with God or joined them... I decided to go back to the Prayer room.... and did a bit of QT
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after that hour , Mr Ng suddenly forces us to come down to admin room and imposes a forced Siesta on a number of us, most of us were still over tired after WoW . anyway I joined their rest as I was sort of feeling rather tired
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After the rest, Worship prac with Christine, Tessa and Tim.
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Worship after that, and didn't have time for dinner.
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He has made me glad, And I'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strenght,
My portion, deliverer, my shelter ,
Strong tower , My very present help in time of need
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Ate my dinner during the supper time after that...
And found out that Ben Liau was sick... ok... oh well
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after that a not very brief, debrief ended around 1
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Wash up etc ... was about 130 after that...
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went wandering around... and saw Charles Ng and Wesley in the Sec 2 uniform room , chatting about... Charles Ng's former BGR problem... ok... joined them until about 235
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popped by the prayer room again and saw Amanda there doing her prayer slot...
Went in and read a passage in my bible.
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At around 245 she gets up to leave the room. I looked up a while and saw her exit the room.
she turns back and ... I dunno either way I could have sworn I saw her smiling a bit briefly before she left the room... or maybe my overtired eyes was playing tricks with me
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I stayed in the room until about 315...
then i decided to go back to sleep ... super tired.
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Sunday: woke up at 7 am. spent time with the sec2s for Group QT along with Kenneth, Noah and Amanda who were in the same LDC Group as I was in. Kenneth did most of the talking... it was about lust and sexual sins
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I guessed it was kinda inappropriate to talk about such sensitive issues in front of a girl, probably that as why there wasnt much sharing.
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closed with worship in which I played the guitar... You are my strenght when I am weak.
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after that....
went wandering around a bit before retuning to the Prayer room and found Tim, John and a few others there. Tim was playing the guitar and were having a short time of worship and prayer.
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Breakfast and Church
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Found out that one of the sec3 hike groups dissolved... and Tim thought it was ours... I half wanted to join the sec2s especially Kenneth's/Shane's/Russell' s/Amanda's group
and yet was feeling uncomfortable about that
In the end the group wasnt dissolved... so i didnt have the option... thank God eitherway
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Hiking in Converse sneakers, the most blistering painful experience ever. By the time we reached dinner point I could barely walk. Kept running into Christine's and Mr Sim's Group along the way. but didnt meet Kenneth's group at all. Luckily I didnt have to continue on night hike... so i went home and rested and got ready for Genting.

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Genting was Boring and sian for the most part, the "City of Entertainment" entertainment was either restricted(casino and outdoor theme park), Expensive (LAN at 15 RM, Arcade, Pool) or plain boring(indoor theme park).
only form of entertainment I had was excessive playing of bridge , hearts and Ti Tee, as well as window shopping(the stuff are way too expensive to purchase esp since I only had 50 RM left after day 1 due to the spending of close to 100 RM in food and arcade urcahses during free and easy at the first day) , in which my shopping mates (other choir guys) are excessively bad at. Apparently I'm one of the only few guys that actually enjoy shopping.... lol.
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the fun part was probably the performances we gave , ended up performing 2 times more than we expected, performing for friendship concert and closing ceremony, even performing Janger ... zzz singing alto again after 6 months of singing tenor isnt much fun.
the camera... sweeping across the face of the choir, revealing people expressing themselves in songs some in a comical manner that lead to a lot of laughter. and the stunned expressions after our loud stamps for choreography as well the stunned looked even at the start while walking in, we were easily double the size of the other choirs (haha in contrast with SYF where we were the smallest JC choir).
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But annoyingly , a certain Nan Chiao High School had to beat us in the competition by 1 point grrr... so much for playing cheat with the piano that would result in better intonation(for music dinosaurs, that means your note pitch) ... we were the only choir singing A Capella(again for the music dinosaurs, that means singing without accompaniment) .
we got 84.5 points(Gold B) they had 85.5(Gold B)
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And bouts of sianness , thinking of the LDC camp in progress as well as thinking of..... while drinking a banana milkshake coffee from Starbucks, and while simply standing by the lift lobby gazing at the Genting mountain scenery outside,and even while warming up just before the competition....
zzzz now isnt the correct time.... get into the mindframe of performance, not a time to let your feelings drag you away.....
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oh well.... back now... so I need to chong chem pracs by 11 june ... before I go for a cruise.

*Sin and Idolatry

In response to the tag on my tagboard in which a stranger called me a 'horrible boy' for saying that Thailand is a land of Sin and Idolatry. I will now reinstate my position properly, for the Non-Christians who read my Blog
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As it is my blog is primarily addresssed to my close friends who are all christians
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Sin And Idolatry
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To say that a country or land is full of that , I am NOT saying that to put down a country or nation. as is is stated in
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Romans 3
10 as it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
12All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one."
13"Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit." "The poison of vipers is on their lips."
14"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."
15 "Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16ruin and misery mark their ways,
17and the way of peace they do not know."
18"There is no fear of God before their eye
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All have turned away and sinned,
all of us who belong to the human race.
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even Christians, even Buddha, even prophet Muhammad, even every single great religious leader or king or ruler, every man great or small, no exception, all have sinned
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... the Wages of sin is Death ...(Romans 6:23)
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All except Jesus who Died to pay the price of sin, Death
He was the only perfect sacrifice that could pay the price as He was without sin, as as such did not have to pay the price for Himself
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And God raised Him from the dead after 3 days
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Christians are sinners saved by grace, The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ
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and now I shall add a disclaimer to my blog when i have time... I have to rush chem pracs now .....grrrr
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*(Actual time of posting is 09/06)

WoW.... emotional ravings

Just came back from WoW...
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Been Emo
Been Happy
Been Sad
Been Tired
Been Depressed
Yet God has been Faithful
He has been there all the time for me
His presence... ... even in Thailand , ... ... a land of idolatry and sin

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Meanwhile
... ... and thinking ... ... now and then.... as I sat in the pickup truck en route to the construction site wondering... ... as I noticed some of my classmates of opposite genders ... as when crying after Talbot and Venu gave their stupid scolding to the whole class that interrupted my prayer meeting.
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... ... and a smile and wave again, today as I was leaving the airport .... thanks for momentarily cheering me up...
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and my mum asks me 'why so shy?' .... hmm.... why indeed, why?

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And yes I do cry.... why does life... seem so hard at times...
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Cancer... ... death of dad, death of Aunty Eleanor,on Thursday when i was Overseas, one of my mum's Christian friends who sort of ... helped a lot in encouraging me.
Fear and Insecurity?
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But in the midst of the storm
You'll still be faithful
And I will be still and know You are God
For I know You hold tomorrow
and I know You hold my hand
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(To be continued..... too tired to blog about details of WoW experiences yet)

You are a God who saves

You are a God who saves
Chorus:
My soul finds rest in God alone;
My salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock, my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
My hope is in You my God;
You’re my mighty rock, my refuge.
I will trust in You at all times
And You will be my refuge
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Verse1:
You alone are my Lord and King
And yes I know that there is nothing
That brings such joy that only You can bring
Your love that covers everything
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Verse2
And You my God have paid the price
Dying on that cross to save my life
Lord who am I that You my Christ
Would love a sinner such as I
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Bridge1:
Holy, holy, Holy God
Faithful, Lovely, Worthy Lord(repeat)
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Bridge2:
You are a God who saves
Yes You a are God who saves
You are a God who saves
Yes You are a God who saves(Repeat)

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A song I've tried to write since last year , but got stuck trying to get inspiration for the verses...
much of the inspiration comes from the Psalms, notably Psalm 62 and those around the 60-70 area.
Psalms of trust and salvation... ... I need to trust You more Lord...
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really have little/ no time to do anything , I've got 4 chem Pracs, Grp4 project report, Math portfolio & Tok essay to do... by the end of the term before WoW starts.... dunno how am I going to complete them ; with choir still in Competition training mode after SYF silver...now Genting ,
and also esp since i cracked my Laptop screen again , meaning I cant bring it to school to do work =(
Oh well...
My soul finds rest in God alone;
Give me Your rest Lord

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I might try following Tim and recording the song During the holidays after Wow and Genting....
darn... have to mug also :( midyears coming up at term 3
oh well....
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Sadness that still strikes me at times, glancing at ... ...ndian gu....claims:"I don't support Christianity" ... ...FireAC ... ... "why"... ... huh?
(lol helping words/phrases to construct story for those who know what I'm talking about? Nmind if you didn't understand , you don't need to know, I'm probably as confused as you are?)
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Yet times of refreshing between, I daresay being busy may be good , take my mind of certain things.... lol drowning in homework a way to de-stress? like Tim?
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oh well....

`Turning points, And Memories

down memory lane…events that shaped my life or bring fond memories

1994 – Enrolled in Galilee Presbyterian church kindergarten (first heard about Jesus)

1996 – Enrolled in NYPS (shaping the next 6 years of my life), Got “diagnosed” (or rather labelled) with Attention Deficit Disorder (self-esteem)

1998 – Did not get in to GEP but ironically got accepted into Mensa with an IQ score of 145(Top 0.1%tile) (self-esteem problems)

December 2001 – Dad gets diagnosed with Brain Cancer

January 2002 – After a hemorrhagic stroke caused by a ruptured tumour and subsequent brain operation … Dad is different…

Easter 2002 – Mum & Dad & I accepts Christ as Personal Lord and Saviour

December 2002 – PSLE posting results: ACS(Independent)
January 2003 – Joined BB & Choir

February 2003 – Dad passes away… life will be different from now on

July 2003 – Winded up in the middle of the SYF 2003 choral competition (I.e. cocked up big time,)

Late 2003/Early 2004 – Stopped attending church

February 2004 – met Rodney and Levin in Choir

October 2004 –Application to join the IP programme fails …… have to get through the O-level programme, got posted to class of 3.2/4.2(2005/06)

January 2005 – OEP Shanghai … a lot of things there happened… kind of affected my self esteem a lot (no longer could be a teachers pet)

January 2005 – got invited to attend Alpha Course at Grace Methodist church by Esther Kong (my mum’s friend), met Matthew Han and Glynn

February 2005 – met Johnathan See, Ti Wan Feng & Mervyn in Choir

March 2005 – Started attending church at GMC, grew spiritually by a lot

June 2005 – Jeremy Goh starts playing Christian songs over the piano by chords… got me interested to try to learn playing keys and improvisation

December 2005 – Church camp “Victorious Christian Living” received spiritual gift of tongues

January 2006 – Ms Shue Carolyn Cheng, class teacher for 4.2 …

January 2006 – First time I lead worship in BB, and first time I played keys for church Junior Youth Fellowship service

February 2006 – BB Sec1s of 2006 … Shane, Shahdan, Malcolm, Russell, Junyi, Wescott(even though you quit in the end), David, Ben Liau, Yugaraj…. And more…been such an encouragement at times.

March 2006 – TA2 Camp CE I/C, Learnt a lot from it. And I started learning how to play Guitar :p

May 2006 – Acquired my first Guitar, a Yamaha F-310P

June 2006 – Khon Kaen Mission trip (First time working very closely with Kenneth Lim, the only other BB boy with me, other then fond memories and the stupid prank he played on me, learnt a lot)

July 2006 – got hauled up in Dr Ong’s office for being rule to a teacher, got an ultimatum from Dr Ong, “Get sent to me 1 more time…. Expulsion”

05 Aug 2006 – Performed as part of choir in Haven the musical.(see My Anchor Refuge and Haven)

08 Aug 2006 – Got Gold award for BB (see Reflections)

12 Aug 2006 – ROD parade(see R.O.D.)

24 Aug 2006 – Nearly got sent to Dr Ong’s Office by Shue, luckily he had meeting , so ended up in Yvonne Lim’s office instead… close shave to expulsion (see: The struggles of life (and a prayer))

28 Aug- 19 Sept 2006 – Prelim exams(See: Weee first Prelim(e) Exam... & New Blogskin & LAST EXAM)

02 Oct 2006 – Prelim results 8 Raw points(See: Prelims Aftermath )

28 Oct 2006 – Choir Alto party :p (See: alto party and other stuff )

November 2006 – O Level exams, PAE & got into IB

December 2006 – GMC Youth Camp “Plunge”

January 2006 – Met a lot of new people… Cielito, Lee Min, Cheryl L, Evelyn, Amanda G, Audrey, Christine L, M K, Kerriann, Tessa… and many more

January 2007 – FireAC started

3 Feb 2007 – Someone pops by in BB and joins in…..

9-10 Feb 2007 – Choir camp(Lead worship)

12-16 Feb 2007 – The emotional up & downs….begin, someone seems to be coming quite early to FireAC, and, erm….

14 Feb 2007– Choir singing Valentines lol….

16 Feb 2007– A prayer meeting with Wesley, Tim Lim, Kenneth, Alex lua , XL & Amanda G(See: Joy...personal )

8 Mar 2007 – “Peace, Bread, MEN” (Intenational Womans day )

16 Mar 2007 – Got my Taylor 314ce =)

2-4 Apr 2007 – Religious Emphasis Week

6 April 20067– Good Friday ( went for Ben liau/Jeremy Goh’s musical see: Redeemer, Savior, Friend)

8 April 2007– Easter Sunday

26 April 2007 – FireAC@Koinonia

8 May 2007 – Choir SYF…. Tomorrow…

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God has been Faithful

and even though my Earthly father is gone... for now, I have a Heavenly Father, who loves me...and is an Almighty God

as for my emotions, and sadness, and.... I have to trust... trust in You

Yet I Wish.... and wonder...

Beyond Loneliness

Tim Lim last 2 blog posts http://limmdt.blogspot.com/ ....about loneliness

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Either way, Loneliness.... no stranger to me..... even so....
I'm probably one of the more lonely people you'll find ... been with little friends since primary school and never talked properly to other people a lot... (discounting the rubbishy extra talk)
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If there is anyone you'll find likely to find alone, when everyone else seems to be sitting around chatting with friends... ... Thats me

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But beyond that... there is always one thing since I accepted Him as my Savior. I have a friend to talk to anytime and He will always listen no matter what.
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I am not alone.... yet..... I sometimes... wish I could..... talk..... and.... just.... have other close friends, and well.... beyond that.... I dunno.... what... I ...want....
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I feel so lost sometimes
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yet He still knows me and loves me and cares... for me

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What a friend I've found
Closer than a Brother........
....
Jesus ... You're my friend forever...

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Maybe I should stop the emo posts... but...

again.... why am I still so emotional,
its been nearly 3 months
since the trouble
started....
why??

Again maybe its more than that... maybe it like a row of dominoes that you push one and it leads to more trouble......
....

I need an anchor
I need----- Jesus

A Time of Refreshing

Second post today


Even through my physical and emotional burnout ....... ...enduring another Sylvia Plath poem in SL3 ElA1...... sitting beside someone while doing a badly done Bio test....attempting to (and failing) to install autograph in the comp lab and getting scolded by G.Ong... and...... a smile and a wave ...
....
and Choir after all that

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An expectancy of the usual physical burnout associated after a long session of choir... but it ended in a time of refreshing in sitting at the astro turf chatting , eating spicy pizza in front of Theodora and singing all manner of songs accompanied occasionally with my lousy guitar playing....
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Thank God for such times of refreshing, at least now I feel better
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and Truly Lord You are faithful

Quiet Sadness

Oh well
Ponning school in morning for choir
Nevermind tho posting now during Tok class( cant find the class , probally having a lecture)

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Sadness now after all the emotional ups and downs...
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after Koinonia was over , guess its time to go back to schoolwork
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.... and "homework everest" "a quote from a random persons msn nick) waiting for me to demolish it ...
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After laser quest in BB, went down to SAC.... not to eat .... but went to the piano and played the first thing that came to mind... "Who am I" one of the Koinonia songs...
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someone... ...came to watch... and listen , was my playing that good? I dare to say Tim could do it better
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Worship later... someone touched by God... His presence... touched by His presence....
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Cant I let go of my emotions towards..... someone and ..... just move on? or what? what can i do?
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I want more of God in my life.... more of You.... I need You.. more of your Presence, touch my life again...
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Sunday Church worship
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Click click click(doing clicking)
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...I love You I need You, though my world may fall....
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...All I need is You
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emotional outpourings... oh well
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FireAC worship today

....You are so faithful... Lord You are faithful
.... when the stars refuse to shine and time is no more ... You still be faithful oh God

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time for SL3 English... Post another time I guess

Drenched in the Rain

Soaked in the Rain..... today......
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weather as a reflection of my mood and life this year
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sunny one moment as I got onto the bus from Haborfront after a time of fellowship and food with a bunch of church friends(surprisingly we were talking about apologetics and theology instead of the usual rubbish today).
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And the storm came, crashing down all around as I sat in the safety of the bus... napping and unaware of what was happening around me.
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as I opened my eyes.... and saw the storm... rain and wind.... and heard the terrible clapping of the thunder...
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And as I prayed for the storm the weather to get better.... it got worst instead....
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Torrential rain, lightning, and thunder greeted me as I got off the bus.
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And I got soaked as I made my way back home... from the bus stop.
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Wouldn't it be similar to how life has been for me? All was well as the year began... before trouble was stirring and I was unaware... and ... exposed... and now... facing in the open... and the storm still gets heavier with additional trouble..
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And for now my mood is like the weather too... sunny one moment... and rainy and stormy the next.
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"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani"
The cry of Jesus as He was crucified
My God, my God, Why have You forsaken me? (Ps 22:1)

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Quote (Tim Lim's blog)
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but it's not true. i'm just as weak as all of u. just the same. ... .... ....
......... i'm just as weak - if not weaker. all you guys have seen in me so far, is simply God's grace and mercy. nothing more. I'm nothing without Him. absolutely........
......
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.....i need a firm foundation again. Jesus.
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then again. not just me. all of us do

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Amen to that...
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I am nothing without Him.... whatever prayer thingys & worship in choir, and whatever bible knowledge etc.... 7/7 Qt checks ... ... nothing but filthy rags in front of Him...
Its By His Grace only... in my weakness that His power is made complete and perfect (Romans12:9)
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(Lamentations 3:22-23 )
²²The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
--his mercies never come to an end;
²³they are new every morning;
--great is your faithfulness.(NRSV)

You are the Potter I am the Clay

Visited my old blog after close to 6 months of neglect.
and the first thing that catches my attention
(title: You are the potter I am the Clay)
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and the second thing, the media player that worked (because for some strange reason i was using IE which i normally never use)
The Potters Hand
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Maybe it thats what it has been all this while, He's been molding and guiding me all this time of trial and emotional and physical exhaustion.
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Maybe its back for me go back to that time last year , simply to surrender my life to Him again for Him to mold it again
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You are the Potter , I am the Clay
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Take my life and mold it again Lord.
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..... for straying so far away.... from Your guidance, and at times not trusting You........
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Bring me back to You Lord.
Let me come back to heart of worship.
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The Power Of Your Love
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Lord, I come to You, let my heart be changed, renewed,
Flowing from the grace, That I found in You
Lord, I've come to know, The weaknesses I see in me,
Will be stripped away, By the power of Your love
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Hold me close, Let Your love surround me
Bring me near, Draw me to Your side
And as I wait, I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You, Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your Love
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Lord unveil my eyes, Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love, As You live in me
Lord renew my mind, As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day, In the power of Your Love
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The Potters Hand
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Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans
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You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes
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I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're calling me to yourself
Teach me, Lord. I pray
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Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's Hand
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Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's Hand

Redeemer, Savior, Friend

Redeemer, Savior, Friend
Darrell Evans, Chris Springer

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Verse 1:
I know You had me on your mind
When You climbed up on that hill
For You saw me with eternal eyes
While I was yet in sin
Redeemer Savior Friend
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Verse 2:
Every stripe upon Your battered back
Every thorn that pierced Your brow
Every nail drove deep through guiltless hands
Said that Your love knows no end
Redeemer Savior Friend
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Chorus:
Redeemer, redeem my heart again
Savior, shelter me from sin
You're familiar with my weaknesses
Devoted to the end
Redeemer Savior Friend
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Verse 3:
So the grace you poured out on my life
Will return to You in praise
I'll gladly lay down all my crowns
For the name of which I'm saved
Redeemer Savior Friend

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Went for Jeremy Goh's / Ben Liau's church musical "Eyes of faith"
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didn't really expect much from it... i though probably was some evangelical based musical , and unlikely to get much from it , went anyway to support/watch Jeremy(conductor) and Ben Liau(dancer)
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Entering an unfamilar church alone was quite freaky... luckily i managed to spot Jeremy immediately...
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before the start of the musical they played on Mp3 track , At the foot of the cross,.... something that i remember only part of the lyrics(trade these ashes in for beauty)... something which really sort of ministered to me... even in my emotional problems and so on...
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the show then proceeded... theres was hardly any storyline or acting, but a lot of song and dance. In through these songs and dance , God really ministered to me ...
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... Redeemer Savior Friend ...
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A song in my mp3 playlist which i never really took notice of... but that day it sort of spoke to me, what a friend we have in Jesus...
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"You're familiar with my weakness, devoted till the end"
Assurance that he knows my weaknesses and is faithful till the end... what an assurance
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Verse2 ....
"... Your love knows no end"
Another sort of touching lyrics... he took our sin and pain upon himself and suffered for our sake
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The Not So Important Part...
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The choir and dancers were really nice... and seeing Jeremy at the back conducting with lightsticks was quite amusing.
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I Could see Ben Liau enjoying himself while dancing. I haven't really seen him much in BB these few days , it was nice to see him..
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The acting was kinda... bad tho ... lol...
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Redeemer, redeem my heart again
Savior, come and shelter me from sin
You're familiar with my weaknesses
Devoted to the end
Redeemer Savior Friend

ReligiousEmphasisWeek

It comes to the time of the year again... Holy week before Easter, and its 'religious emphasis week'
or REW in short
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a bunch of us from FireAC sort of 'prepared' a message in the school pond by arranging white rocks to spell out "†GOD loves YOU"(the rocks initially had been used to advertise for some S.C. campaigning.) Ha Ha if you were wondering who the jokers were.
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So "God Loves you", what does it mean...
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Love itself is quite a issue on its own... ... see XL's post on love in his blog,
the limitations of the English language simply broadly generalised all the kinds of love(Agape, platonic love, sexual love, infatuations) in to 1 term itself... by itself is rather vague
-
the Bible tells us that God is Love(agape)(1 John 4:16), it also tells us that nothing can ever seperate us from God's love (Romans 8:38-39)
-
How does God show his love to us? By sending his son to die on the cross for our sins(John 3:16)
-
lets link it back to the REW speaker's Glen's testimony
how did God show his love to him.
A rebellious child .... life was in a mess yet..... God still loved him, enough to see him through and bring him back to Himself. The light sentence he received, his marriage and other aspects of his life all seemed to flow in God's plan... ... surely that cant be a coincidence or sheer luck...
-
I believe its all part of God's plan...
-
Even for my life , I can see how God has worked in my life... coming to accept Him in p6 not really knowing what it meant... Him closing the door for y3/4 IP to allow me to grow stronger in my faith without the testing and doubt that comes with learning PoD(part of the curriculum dealing with theory of knowledge) and opening the door for me stay on and serve in the ministry of FireAC.
-
Besides that, also other things that He has done for me... the other time when my teacher(Shue) wanted to send me to Dr Ong(which would have meant an expulsion) he was busy in a meeting so basically just got a scolding from the bursar(read this post: The struggles of life (and a prayer))
-
I just need to trust him for the other problems I'm going through now... the whole XL & BGR Amanda thing... that really... well... sickening why cant I let go my emotions yet?

---

My God is mighty to save
Day1:
lead worship for FireAC on Monday.
sung a few songs including mighty to save and Oceans will part
Open my eyes to the work of your hand..... ...In my life Your will be done
Meaning every word i sing ....yet can i apply it in my life?
-
ended FireAC at 729 that day, which ultimately lead to us being late for assembly...
ended up singing the national anthem twice(lol)
-
Day2(today):
Sung mighty to save in the REW worship lead my Mr Wong Ping Loong
Everyone needs compassion, a love that never failing.... needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior
All of us truly need Him in our lives... or life would be purposeless
-
so take me as you find me all my fears and failures, fill my life again
let this be the prayer of many by the end of REW LORD .
-
Non christian ppl/groups to pray for:
Many of the Teachers(Chiam KC, V. Rao?, Ruma B.?)
Ng Song Yeong(Y5)
Shao Xiong(Y5)
Rodney Soh(Y4)
Levin Tan(Y4)
Scholars
-
let young(students) and not so young(teachers) return and or come to Jesus
Send your Fire LORD .

---

Random dumb stuff
Forgot to bring my guitar padlock to school today
ended up dragging my 2.7k Taylor guitar all around the classes
took out the guitar several times while waiting for teachers
random comments:
-
Quote(Michelle Y.)
Didn't know guitars had fine tuners
(Referring to the black ebony guitar pegs)
Lol... Yan Han then proceeded to pretend to twist the guitar pegs as if fine tuning the guitar and compared the other part to a violin(pick guard became the F-Hole, the base of the guitar became the chin rest...
-
Quote(Maye Y.)
Your guitar has a nice smell, smells like my violin
(the mahogany wood does have a nice smell no doubt)
seeing John Tay sniffing at my guitar after that was quite amusing...
-
S.C. elections campaign forum was a waste of time... sitting down there for 1+ hour listening to the same cliche statements
Random Quote
I have the passion so vote for me.
Vote for me so i will make your 2 years here more fun
-
Right.. i wont vote for you... I'm a mugger and I don't want fun... lol
Anyway Joshua Cao coming up and asking his ridiculous questions was the only thing that made it worth listening to.
-
thats all i can write for now, should go to sleep now...

What is Joy?

Philippians 4 :4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-
Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
-

Most people tend to mix 'happiness' with joy
-
According to the scripture above as well as numerous number of references, we are told to "Rejoice" always...
-
does it mean we are supposed to be 'happy' all the time???
-
obviously not
-
In a previous post I wrote about certain problems I was having, and I titled 'joy... personal'
Even tho I was kind of depressed when i wrote that post , I still had 'joy'
-
So what is Joy?
-
Personally for me Joy is not an outward shallow feeling that last for fleeting moments of highs such as happiness.
-
Joy is something deep within.... if you could imagine the range of human emotions as layers , like an onion , Joy should be the Core... as opposed to happiness which last for fleeting moments
-
We can have Joy, from the knowledge that through Jesus, we are Free because of what he has done for us
We can have Joy, from the assurance of salvation through Christ
We can have Joy, from the assurance that He loves us ,with unfailing love (Agape), And He has a Plan for us
We can have Joy, from the knowledge that He holds the whole world in his hands.

---

Even though I've been rather down and depressed lately... ...
-
Even to the extend of walking to the middle of the IB bridge during chem free period today while it was raining today and gazing at the background of the UWC....
-
Quote(Mary)
You owe me $6, better pay me before you commit suicide....
-
lol ... ... did i really look that depressed? I guess its kind of an emo thing to do to get oneself drenched by the rain , but it does make me feel better anyway,
-
-
... I still have Joy in my heart...

---

Life thus far:
found out that Alastair's prayer group dissolved... ... oh well... ... a direction is important for any group to succeed
-
Hopefully and by God's Grace , FireAC will fulfill its objective , to bring revival to ACS.
-
Let the Flame not die
-
Rekindle the fire again
-
-
Got a new math teacher but ... ended up worst than Tiong Gee, from a teacher who cannot teach but knows his stuff to a teacher who doesn't know her stuff and teaches too slowly..
on the bright side my math class is the same as Tim Lim's , so i can get help for math if necessary.
-
Had little sleep the last 2 days, on tuesday did the chem prac report over 5 hours until 4am before sleeping(, and finding out the next day that the teacher had extended the dateline >.<)
-
Wednesday had choir until 8 o clock O.o, when i reached home at 9 o clock i bathed, plonked onto the bed and slept till 3am before gething up to do my bio prac report.... didn't sleep after that
-

Schools back

for a wonder i decided to post Again... about school...lol this will go under the Tag, (Boring life)
_
Day1
_
Went back to school took public transport for once since
1 my mum couldnt send me(night shift)
And
2 My sis could either(night shift --> last minute work on project)
_
For i wonder i managed to catch the 615 Bus(second 963 bus) and arrive in school at 640,
(ironically catching the 555 Bus (first bus) would result in 1 reaching school at 630. not 620 as one would expect)
_
back in school FireAC was combined with Alastair's group for once... ... arrived there(rooftop) at 645 to find only 2 people there, namely Lua stonning at one corner and ... Amanda ... sitting right in the middle apparently doing QT. I ended up pacing around the place before lying down on the floor and gazing at the sky,in an effort to take my mind off ... certain things ...
_
That place is one of the more beautiful places in the school, away from all the noise and busyness
of school in the cool of the morning, with the clock tower's top showing in the background and the morning sky a nice grey blue.
_
And Kenneth had to interrupt my skygazing by behaving like some overgrown kid and jumping over me... seesh I not Really in the mood for your craziness you know... keep me sane please
_
Ok Fast forward a bit to chapel
we sung some really nice Hymns today for once(Amazing Grace and When I survey the Wondrous Cross)
but these hymns had to be desecrated by a few things:
1. Grace Kwee singing Amazing Grace , ... didn't have to hear all the sniggering from certain people...(twas Grace that taught my heart to fear)
2. Ridiculously fast tempo for the hymns... hymns like these should be Sung SLOWLY, i don't care if you sing hymns like Trust and Obey fast(which they never do) , but certain hymns sound nice only when they are sung slowly
_
We got a nice speaker talking about addiction, lol was quite informative
And after chapel I Obtained a free copy for the gideons bible(the NT psalms and proverbs bible)
Pity they couldnt give the whole bible, since my bible at the moment is falling apart, (I.e. i need a new Bible asap)
_
back in Class
Cielo got her voice back lol, but she's still abusing it like nobodies business, would be surprised if she loses it again
first lesson was Bio practical
Broke a measuring cylinder :( $2 flies away):
got my phone confiscated because i was taking a picture of the broken glass lol
_
Xl is in my SL classes now, makes me freak out to see him taking down notes during the EL A1 class under WPL
_
during recess we got chased out by the HL chinese B teacher, who seems to think that people are following the new timetable now , which isnt the case
so we left the class to let him teach a non-existent class(or a class which only had steven and a bunch of people coming in at the end of the recess period)
_
last lesson was Math.... and the class size is ridiculously large(32) and Mr Goh freaks out(with him being sick(coughing like a hag) at that time)
Anyway he says he is going to petition to split class
hopefully if they split i can go to the new teacher's(hopefully it being Mr Azmi or Mr Rao) class
lol
_
went to the BB room after school , and had a few brain cells killed by
1. Kenneth's retardedness(scribbling Emil sucks on the BB room computer to destress )
2. Steven's lameness(stupid Puns..... I really want to Punch him lol)
_
Day 2
_
lol relatively uneventful
Arrived at 640am to the FireAC area to find a similar empty area as yesterday except No Lua stoning in 1 corner, and ... Amanda ... doing Qt at the opposite wall.
I went to the other wall and played guitar until Tim, Fab and the others came
_
Kenneth later was talking about FireAC's directive
_
We had rather uneventful lessons today
_
Interesting notes:
_
Got my EL A1 test back and scored better than the people beside me (17/25) by some sort of a miracle, since
1.I Didn't take Lit for 2 years since sec 2
2. I had not submitted a single assignment before the test
_
Chiam Kok Chong calling Mr Talbot "Mister Tablet" in Chem class,
Lol his pronunciation is Horrible, although he is quite a good teacher
_
Going for WoW(Window of the World, not World of Warcraft) OEP(Overseas Education Programme in Thailand , Phuket , quite a nice destination, however wishing i was going to KKCS (Khon Kaen Christian School) instead, at least i know the people and places there better, after going there last year for Mission trip
_
EE topic proposal got rejected by Mr William Lai ,crap, now have to find another.
_
Other depressing emotions that I ...randomly... feel every now and then still happening ,
Grrr when am I going to Get over it completely.
oh well
_
thats my Boring life for you
_
now don't ask me post everyday lol

Lol another blogskin again

Picture of the School Clock tower from the view point of the boarding school, taken with my Nokia N73's 3.2 Mega pixel with auto-focus camera. Intentionally under exposed

Okay

Life been sian ....wow... ...

went thru the first term of IB, dunno whether its going to be easy to do well....

anyway I got A Brand new Guitar :)

Taylor 314 CE (S$2640)

super nice :)

and a Yamaha keyboard (s$390) one of the latest models :)

BB week: first time i'm that enthu about it, collected $219 liao ... sian, XL beat me by $6 :( lol

Choir:
SYF coming up , the training is going to get more intensive.
and Song without words(Set piece) makes one speechless... retarded chinese,indian, and dondang sayang scales, and retarded Phoon Yew Tien(composer)

I tot some songs i sung before were bad, but this one beats them all

while the sec school can have fun singing Sagefried Sassoon's Gay and merry everyone sang, we get a HORRIBLE piece .... sian

other things worth posting about my life? not really

Thoughts

"Would it break a Saviors heart to see so many broken families and lives?"


Got me really thinking after hearing from Jeremy about the 2 J.S.'s in choir being half-brother and sister

how many people i know have broken families(divorce)?

a lot, in fact too many for me to count...

How can divorce & extramartial affairs become so common?

even to the extent it is "celebrated" , think of all the CH8 drama serials, which one of them does not touch such stuff??

God hates Divorce, I don't need to quote the large handful of verses which states that.

oh well ......

Forgive our sins Lord
Heal our Land
Bring revival to Singapore

He is a Father to the Fatherless(whether due to divorce,death ,or figuratively dead)
He is Mighty to Save

Joy...personal

Ok
finally found time to post =) (CNY BREAK)

Ok since Marcus Requested for me to post on choir camp i will briefly touch on 1 aspect, Not going to bother with the things like LoL , Murder game etc(since they are almost the same every year)

Camp worship

Lead worship for the camp,
Anyway i was glad to see that people really singing out loud properly this time as compared to the previous years dead sessions...

Heart of worship ... ... i was comforted that His presence could be felt... i daresay at least some of them were meaning the words they sang from their hearts... and offering it up to God.

Kenneth's message was direct and to the point , although it lacked a charisma I was hoping for... hopefully the people didn't switch off( i Daresay he commands enough respect). Pity i cannot openly have a evangelical message... ... i guess its up to the individual including me to personally reach out to the lost sheep( i talked to Rodney about Christianity the night before)

Mess ups ...
Definitely 1 ..... despite what Marcus Teo describes in his blog
1.Forgetting to pray at times.

Musical excellence does not equate good worship

Good worship comes from the heart

if Our hearts is not ready....

Our worship is nothing more then "good music"

---

Other stuff on that day

Was unable to go for BB due to the Camp + forgot to bring BB attire :(

Apparently there was some form of spiritual attack on the primers that day( discord / unable to pray)

---

Tessa's Dream....

Dream that she died, went to hell, and saw the devil cutting up a body

Prophetic: the devil is trying to create disunity and discord within us among the primers and FireAC people.

Further events along the week.

(Warning: the stuff below is very personal )

Nearly ended up hating XL (jealousy).... sighz stupid BGR stuff.

Even I liked someone... well i wouldn't try to sort of initiate or display anything, on the contary i might even end up Daoing the person ... as a sort of defense against being trapped in a BGR prematurely.

In addition I wouldn't have the confidence or shamelessness (think Sam Yong's singing telegram)

Normally that would work out fine... after sometime the emotion might subside and nothing more happens, or at least i push it to the back of my mind.

For this instance... not so easy... emotionally... roller coaster emotion... most horrible sensation i ever had.

1 side of me envied & want to hate XL
the other side keeps reminding me: XL is your Friend and Fellow brother in Christ.

What happened to Primer rule number 2?

Quote( Mr Charles Ng)
Rule number 2: no BGRs from Primers... ...

But after talking to Tim about it... felt a lot better... and now I am thankful to God for his joy He's given me ... to still know that He loves me , that is more than enough for me.

Quote(Jeremiah 29:11 )
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And he has a plan for me, and his plan is way better than any plan i could think of(aka existentialist way ,for the TOK freaks)

I surrender All
All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

Quote( Proverbs 3:5-6)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

---

Dear Lord:
In Your timing in accordance to Your Plan , Mould my life the way You want me to be Lord. Take this life of mine Lord, and Lord use it according to Your plan .
Lord I thank You for the works you done in my life and I trust in Your Unfailing Love.For You alone are God eternal , throughout earth and heaven above. Thank You for the Cross Lord, & the price You paid for me. You are my God in whom I can trust, You are my fortress, deliverer, shield and my strength. There is no Love like Yours, You love satisfies my desire.
Teach me Lord to be still and know you are God. Open the eyes and ears of my heart , let me see You and hear You.

In Christ most precious Name
Amen

---

XL seems a bit confused at the moment? I dunno his Msn nick is fishy("what is love?")

Pray for him.... for God's guidance.

---

Lessons learnt from this incident
1. Contrary from what i believed at first I am not invulnerable to BGR problems (despite or perhaps because of knowing close to nothing about BGR).
2. Only after I was completely honest with myself, and surrendered all to God , then did the problem subside.
3. If a mere "crush" can lead to such....nonsense, imagine God's Real love, and when we turn away from him to our other idols. Ouch....
4. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8 : 31) Ha Ha satan, you are no match for Our God

---

Random thought:
A Broken and Fatherless Generation.

Many people today are fatherless in the literal or figurative sense.

but God will turn this generation into a Dancing Generation For Him.

Amen

Fire Fall Down

Show me Your Heart
Show me Your Way
Show me your Glory

---

Project Beacon(aka Burn the school Down)

To shine for Jesus to draw the Lost and the Lukewarm/Dead christians back to Christ

The 2 days so Far since we initialed the prayer Group

It is amazing to see how many ppl turned up for the meeting, how they worshiped(thru song).

hopefully by Gods Grace He will pour out his spirit in a wave for Revivial

---

As we Seek You
Your Fire fall down

---

what is "Fire" anyway

Our God is a Consuming fire
Deu 4:24 ... the LORD your God is a consuming fire....

Fire gives Light and warmth to the world,
John 8:12 ... ... Jesus ... ... said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Many of us grow cold spiritually over time....
After the highs of Church Camps, Events,REW, Etc....

we slowly fall back to sin and grow colder Spiritually

as Alastair Su(Y6) compared it to a Sine Graph(aka SIN Graph)
Up and down..... in this cycle of Going back to God and falling again to Sin

we need the Fire of God, to fill our Lives to be able to break away from this consistant Sin cycle

---

Consuming Fire Fan into Flame
A passion for your name
Spirit of God Fall in this place
Lord have your WAY in US

---

John Tay shared today
2 Chron 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Let us Seek Him with all our heart in prayer. Let his Will be Done. And Let the Fire fill Our lives

---

Now for the random Dumb stuff

ToK lecture today

Discuss this question
Can Man find meaning in lif without God

see Tim Lims Blog for what he said

(imagine a Godless world)
http://limmdt.blogspot.com/2007/01/can-man-live-without-god-short.html

anyway in ended up in this manner

a whole bunch of christians from the Prayer4revival group came forward first and shared that Man cannot find Meaning without God


then the Aethists Bu Shuang
come forward and counter argue

ended up into some showdown between the 2 sides

and there also were some "lukewarm/Dead"christians who came forward and shared their existantionist views(we create Meaning in Life views)

we even have "christians" who dont believe in God..... what an Oxymoron

anyway we have to rite a small riteup on it :(... probaly post in on this blog after i'm done with it

summary of my View
We need to first define meaningful.

we have a choice of whether we want to choose Gods Purpose which gives meaning in life, or try to create our own....(semi-existentionist)

However there is a catch

Choosing Gods Purpose will Always lead to a menaingful and Fulfilled life,especially since we have the hope that we get treasure in heaven after we die

Choose the other however may or may not lead to a fulfilled meaningful life(you cant deny that there are Aethist who in the eyes of the Secular world have "meaningful life")

and even if it does lead to a "meaningful" life , what is the point.... we die.. and we get nothing , and the world will probaly forget us in the end... and even if they did remember us... the world will fade away one day

aiming for what is eternal has more meaning

I feel sad for the existantionist Christians.... they basically saying "oh i believe in you Jesus but i dont think i need your plan for me , i just do it myself and screw up again, and you would have died in vain"

Christ came to Give us Meaning in life and live a Life with a direction and purpose

He paid the price for Us... why dont we accept his gift , a costly Gift but we get it for Free.

Last year, New year and new Blogskin

Havent posted for sometime...


Wanted to post b4 the year ended last year , but some Taiwan Earthquake had to cut my access to blogger, so was unable to


Created yet another blogskin , this time from SCRATCH, not from ripping some copyrighted image off google images and adding words


More stuff about Plunge
Youth Camp was quite spiritually nourishing last year, and hopefully what i learnt from God will not be forgotten... let me be the person God wants me to be


However i had the misfortune to run into My dear Principal.....who was there for a Rekkie for Sec 2 OEP in Port Dickson, Eagle Ranch resort(the venue for my camp)


First thing he has to say to me.....


Emil Coming here to learn how to be good?

That is so freaking insulting... ...
______
1 day Melaka trip
took a trip last year in Melaka on saturday(last saturday) with some of my mum small group ppl


took a 3hour bus ride there, got lost for 2 hours trying to find a ulu place they wanted to go to


Went shopping
Whee had fun shopping for clothes....
bought 7 shirts=)


But one thing i am Damn irritated about


THE 80% OF THE ENTIRE SHOPPING CENTER SOLD NOTHING BUT GIRLS CLOTHES....


GRR.... while i am stuck hunting the remainding 20% which sold both guy and girls clothes(meaning i still had to sort through the unwearable stuff...)


the return trip was quite uneventful
______
for the new year


Got into IB thru PAE...


Orientation DAY 1....


Damn sucky games... this time.... Orientation is a freaking waste of time , at least for today...


After that went for choir..... felt quite sick after sometime... ... had a running nose for the past few days... plus just recovered from a sore throat.... my head started to ache quite badly.... naturally i didnt exactly concentrate.... which lead Mrs Wan(Choir Teacher IC) to conclude i was showing Bad Attitude.... sighz.... not another bad start.... groan....


well gething quite late .... i guess i shd end here...