Heart doctor

going to see a cardiologist later, to see if there’s anything wrong...
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sighz
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I know... that sometimes... certain things... might irritate people, like you know...
the fact that some things i see make me feel left out, sad , or upset...
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I happen to know last year, apparently my consistent “sighing” was irritating people
ahh... I should control myself...
lest things become messy again...
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can i just say that... I really do...
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beyond the shallowness of infatuations and everything
when seeing ... left me tongue-tied and a surge of adrenaline
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the old past, before i tried to move away
and realised ... I couldn’t. I could distract myself away for a while, maybe about 6 months
“but all the ways still lead back to the ego”(Siddhartha)
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when it’s not about me anymore..., not about the fleeting emotions and temporary now...
God, You know how things go, so help me to always keep things in perspective...
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I guess as things come, I need to face it like a man
only time will tell...
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and I know that I have no guarantee...
basically, like the Lehman linked assets, if it fails, it fails
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as John would say:
“you need to be realistic”
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but I know I’ll always have God
so I guess, He’s enough...

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zzz
its starting to make me feel rather uncomfortable too
and its not very nice for the other party
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So, for ‘neth, lua, and Chng
STOP making fun of me... pfff...

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I cant believe I got math in 3 days time
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I cant seem to bring myself to press that ‘panic button’
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Its starting to get a bit unnerving...