Retreat

so many times, these few weeks... time with God, time with people... how does one make sure God has more time?...

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a retreat... a time to reflect... a time to spend more time with God....

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yet, also more time with people? ... ... ... unexpected?

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I guess...  

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paranoia can lead one away from God... 

one wonder why wander alone somewhere in the school...  while others have corporate prayer

one wanders off himself

into an empty audi, around much of the school

except the bleachers and 'grand stands", which one goes to later for prayer with Charles and 7 others

unity... I guess... Lua & Chua... thanks

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I guess I need to trust that God will take care... 

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tumble over in the astroturf while diving after a ball... lol that was funny...  but a nice deep skin peel off resulted

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irony... a good reason to give up ones place... wasn't that a secret wish?

but still going for primers challenge tmr... I guess... I don't want to make ppl feel bad abt it, plus it would be fun...

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Cards till 4 am...

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a tinge of guilt... 

why can't I spend that amount of time with God?

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off an msn convo I had:

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£ٱɱعɑɗe ... ... says (8:50 PM):

as in... if one really loves God... one would want to spend time with God... 

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I guess how does one do that?

how does one make God the first thought that comes to mind when one wakes up?... that even one dreams of God... basically "eat, sleep, think, breathe" God

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Guarding of one's heart...

-I need to guard my heart... I cannot invest too much of my emotions

yet easier said then done... :( 

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"don't play with fire"(charles)

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the red tape of P.R. 2 ...

I know I cannot cross it , and there probally isn't a possibility of that happening...

since its probally only a one side thing... the few months of daoing/avoiding shd have made it clear enough

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the very most... good friends...

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sighz....

-do I need to pull myself away forcefully again?

and if  someone reads this... sighz, this open "not so secret" diary of mine... I don't want to scare off again...

-yes I still like... but I respect the choice you make...

I wish...

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Grow in God... "Love God wholeheartly"

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and no matter what troubles may face you, He is there for you... 

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