Tuesday, 20 November 2007

ever wandering heart

Its easy to lose the way, to feel lost and burdened, and confused
I wish... somehow
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is it mean that i didnt tell some people abt the project?
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I'm supposed to involve everybody? for not doing that, not inviting evelyn, I'm mean to her?
but... I invited all of you'll personally , or got tim to do it...
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somethings, I cant really do it over a mass email, whoever interested  sign up kind of thing
in a sense, i need to let you'll know the heart behind the project... and also... i guess
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looking back:
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russell was invited by XL's request,
asher came because wesley was in it, thanks for being around for us, even tho wes is a little busy
petrina technically came for CAS... but album design, I'll need someone to help chng... thanks for being around during the sessions...
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I got tim to invite:
Amanda, Yang Jian, Fabriz, John,...
heh... i still rmb, reminding him time and again to remember to invite, almost nagging...
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I guess through this project I restored a few friendships
i wish.... I dunno... shd I have invited eve?
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"I don't like limes"
neither do I , ironically...
but oh well, i don't need to be immature and interpret it in that fashion... it was just a passing remark
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hmm
do you think its better for both parties if i cut ?
but yet... i know i wont be seeing ... much in december...
lucky there's misson trip to occupy most of it
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sighz... i dunno if ... the trigger points and stuff... do you know abt it, or is it mere coincidents
and the other time at holland... when tim, john and dan somehow was having fun teasing me... did you realise?
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I dunno whether its worth talking to you directly abt this kind of stuff... it may or may not be good
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and I don't want to scare you off again... 

Who am I
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Who am I? 
That the Lord of all the earth, 
Would care to know my name, 
Would care to feel my hurt. 
Who am I? 
That the bright and morning star, 
Would choose to light the way, 
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am. 
But because of what you've done. 
Not because of what I've done. 
But because of who you are. 

I am a flower quickly fading, 
Here today and gone tomorrow. 
A wave tossed in the ocean, 
A vapor in the wind. 
Still you hear me when I'm calling, 
Lord you catch me when I'm falling, 
And you told me who I am. 
I am yours. 
I am yours. 

Who am I? 
That the eyes that see my sin 
Would look on me with love 
And watch me rise again 
Who am I? 
That the voice that calm the sea, 
Would call out through the rain, 
And calm the storm in me. 

"through the good times and the bad, You are God alone!"
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"nice quote my pm" says ....

sighz
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I wish... i dunno, I'm lost
I wish it really was easy as saying "I just want to be friends" and leave out the "for now"
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I'm being very selfish... why do I want things in a certain manner
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you mean a lot to me.... but that shdnt be the way, that cannot be the way, God shd be first place in my heart, the first thought that comes to mind when I wake, the person I dream about, the person my mind wanders off to when my thoughts are free to roam
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the fact that the songs... I was with you when you made the music, when you did the stuff...
I guess, tim was there also.... but... 

but strangely
Hannah gave quite good advice(along with teasing me for a fair bit):
"don't think so much lah"
"maybe just concentrate on reading God's word(:'"
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same thing tim has been telling me for a long time... somemore coming from someone younger than me
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but i dunno
from a girls perspective... ... I don't trust my own perception...
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but eitherway, I havn't seen Hannah in church for a long time...
i dunno, find yourself a loner in church?  why would that be? you feel that people look down on you?
sighz
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i dunno

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