Friday 2 November 2007

Maybe

maybe... you shouldn't expect so much of people
maybe... there is a selfish part of you... that expects something
maybe... you need to suppress or put to death a part of you
maybe... you need to continue to surrender to His will
maybe... you need to give it more time...
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eitherway... sighz
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i dunno, I'm sorry... if I've been making people feel bad , if I've been irritating people, if I've been putting on a facade, if I've been scaring people off
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if I've not trust You enough, if I've not depended on You for my joy and strength, if I've been depended on another source for satisfaction, Lord forgive me...
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maybe, Lord, it just part of Your plan...
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and yes, thank You for yesterday, for all the music and such
thank You for today, for giving me the opportunity to be nice to E.T., and hopefully patch things up sooner or later.
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and somehow Lord, I just dunno, suppression of one part of myself... yet, its hard
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yet I know Lord, I have to do that... ...
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or maybe some things, even just a friendship that you treasure so much, are not meant to be...
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I dunno
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its so hard sometimes
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maybe... the best thing to do... is just pray... and make up for the time which you missed yesterday... QT...
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Maybe God is just telling me again... that He wants me back to Him.....
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while yesterday's 930-11 and 230-4 at the SAC piano
3hours... at one of my favourite spots in the school,
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Remembering a time when the damper pedal broke, and a sec 2 Emil dismantled the whole piano, amidst the laughter and jeering of the seniors(now Year6)
and Emil emerges triumphantly, the damper successfully repaired
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and another 3 hours with Tim
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yet you can't even give God a minute... alone with Him..
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why?, an excuse that you're tired. there's Chinese B exam tmr, you need to sleep?
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while the festivities carry on outside, a supposed early celebration of birthday... I guess...
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what an irony, the birthday boy is stuck in his room emoing at his comp...
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sighz...
-would tmr be sad or happy? 
I wonder

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