Here and Now

A delirious me
Thank math HL paper for that ....

Here And Now
Brenton Brown, Paul Baloche
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Chorus 1:
Here and now, here in this moment
Here and now I turn to You
All that my searching heart has longed for can be found
'Cause You're in this moment, here and now
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Verse:
What majesty, what mystery,
the God of all eternity
Stepped into time and gave His life for me
Your hand is seen in galaxies,
yet Your Spirit dwells in me
So vast and yet You're still within our reach
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Bridge:
There is nowhere You can't be found
Nothing on earth could ever keep Your Presence out
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Chorus 2:
Here and now, here in this moment
Here and now I turn to You
All that my searching heart has longed for can be found
'Cause You're in this moment, here and now
You're in this moment here and now

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Why Lord... why?
why so downcast oh my soul? whats with the emotions and everything?
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yet
All that my searching heart has longed for can be found
'Cause You're in this moment, here and now
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todays morning devotions was entitled "here and now"
yet the content had nothing to do with the song... other than the shared title,
yet... it reminded me of this song...
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Math was a total screw up
minus 41 marks
I was grinning like a maniac idiot after the exam.... though inside I was feeling so lousy....
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.......
while I was feeling so... *weird... studying Bio after the exam with Tim Evelyn and Amanda
while tim was teaching respiration to Amanda And Evelyn
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Then tim left outside..... while Amanda tries to learn bio from Evelyn
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*weird
the only other time i remember feeling like that.... somewhere around mid-late march,
when I was feeling very very stressed out over something, popped out of the classroom to try to find a teacher about the something...
"Hi"
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Then i left to go outside to talk to Tim
And enquired about the torn purple-shirt size from him ....
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and well.. sighz... ...
and sighz
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then back to the place to study more Bio, decided to get interested in teaching the bio also and evelyn gets annoyed and 2 of them move over to the next table
left me alone to pretend to study and ..... think

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I really dont know what I want
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somehow i half-wish the shirt didnt tear.... and I could just move on... depressed for a while maybe, but still a resolution, never the less and I could just make myself happy that at least a "happily ever after" and ... in good hands, and move on.
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somehow I again half wish the answer from God was just a simple plain "no", that I could know at least that I am really hearing from God ("denying self is easier" as tim says).
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somehow I again half wish I didnt choose Bio over Physics, then things would probally be different.
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yet the other half still wishes that the stuff in my "nice" dreams were reality
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a confused , emotional me
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as for my mum and sis , please don't ever mention the word g.f. to me for now....
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well...
"after Ldc things will be different"
true... it cleared up a lot of things, and removed some of my confusion
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"after exams things will be different"
right.... kid myself... or true....? only time will tell
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yet whats with the swanning and the friendliness and the swanning again?
I dont see you swanning other ppl...
or maybe i'm just thinking too much
Do you know? And if you know do you care?
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_{Seriously Emil , Go and get a life.... you are just worthless
Shut up Satan}
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Argh.....
yet
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All that my searching heart has longed for can be found
'Cause You're in this moment, here and now
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You will always be faithful....
"Trust Me , I will take care, I will be with you"
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in the meanwhile a delirious me prods the publish button after doing a slight moderation with th little sanity i left after HL Math