crazy irrational thoughts, repression, knowing that it is merely wishful thoughts,
I really feel as if I’ve been stretched really thin so far,
maybe its just a way of coping and avoiding those self-condemning thoughts that pop up, busy yourself with everything, so you don’t have time to think.
Is there a way out from this besides a potentially destructive catharsis which could mean I lose everything, with not even friendship to speak about?
I feel so at a loss for words to say how I really feel about everything around me. Like I know I’m expected to say, talk and behave in a certain manner, I know I’m being stupid… but I also wonder whether you know how I actually feel about it.
I know it’s a perfectly normal part of development: Erikson’s Intimacy vs isolation life task, but I’m stuck with what the textbook terms as rejection sensitivity… anxious insecure attachment
but knowing all these doesn’t change the way I feel...
Anyway one of my major CF commitments is over - somehow YGAF didn’t turn out the success that I hoped it would be. I met up with a few people I haven’t had the chance to meet and interact for quite a while… and I’m not sure what I expected either… I guess everyone is busy with exams and it wasn’t the best time, but oh well...
No comments:
Post a Comment