Wake me up when September ends...

I have one thing to conclude as we approach September...

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Faith is the beginning of testing, but faith is what keeps us going...

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Hope is the beginning of disappointment... but hope still gives us a reason to move on..

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Love is beginning of hurt... yet love still is beautiful... love never ends... and love is the greatest... love is what has saved us... love is what was shown on the cross, the hurt Jesus had to bear... 

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I'll try to not blog so much... not till prelims are over...

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I probably still be posting  a few updates via twitter... 

so check out the first blogger gadget at the left column  or look at this site:

http://twitter.com/limecock

Anywhere is

I walk the maze of moments,
But everywhere I turn to,
Begins a new beginning,
But never finds a finish.
I walk to the horizon,
And there I find another,
It all seems so surprising,
And then I find that I know.

Chorus:
You go there you're gone forever.
I go there I'll lose my way.
If we stay here we're not together.
Anywhere is.

The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion.
But without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing.
In motion on the ocean,
the moon still keeps on moving.
The waves still keep on waving.
And I still keep on going.

Chorus

I wonder if the stars sign,
the life that is to be mine.
And would they let their light shine
Enough for me to follow.
I look up to the heavens,
But night has clouded over.
No spark of constellation,
No Vela no Orion.

The shells upon the warm sands
Have taken from their own lands.
The echo of their story,
But all I hear are low sounds,
As pillow words are weaving.
And willow waves are leaving,
But should I be believing
That I am only dreaming.

Chorus

To leave the thread of all time,
And let it make a dark line
In hopes that I can still find
The way back to the moment.
I took the turn and turned to
Begin a new beginning,
Still looking for the answer,
I cannot find the finish.
It's either this or that way,
It's one way or the other.
It should be one direction,
It could be on reflection.
The turn I have just taken,
The turn that I was making.
I might be just beginning,
I might be near the end.

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Think I broke a record for most number of posts in a day...

Psalm 142

¹With my voice I cry out to the LORD;
   with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.
2I pour out my complaint before him;
   I tell my trouble before him.

 3When my spirit faints within me,
   you know my way
In the path where I walk
   they have hidden a trap for me.
4 Look to the right and see:
    there is none who takes notice of me;
 no refuge remains to me;
   no one cares for my soul.

 5 I cry to you, O LORD;
   I say, "You are my refuge,
   my portion in the land of the living."
6 Attend to my cry,
   for I am brought very low
Deliver me from my persecutors,
    for they are too strong for me
7 Bring me out of prison,
   that I may give thanks to your name
The righteous will surround me,
   for you will deal bountifully with me.

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its always strange the way God works, in some strange way or another, opening up to a random psalm of sorts... and He'll minister... somehow...

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God is faithful... always...

seeing so many things around me

and trying to see if broken glass can ever be pieced together again..

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but i realise... broken glass cuts... 

then tears begin to well up... and I move them away...

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God makes us strong in the times of tests

yet i wonder... why cant broken relationships be mended

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or maybe its true... 'its a bit more complicated than that...'

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I wonder... why?

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T.T

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i miss my guitar... =(

One by One...

Here am I
Yet another goodbye
He says Adios, says Adios,
And do you know why
She won't break down and cry?
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.

It's no lie
She is yearning to fly.
She says Adios, says Adios,
And now you know why
He's a reason to sigh
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.
- She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.

My, oh my!
She was aiming too high.
He says Adios, says Adios,
And now you know why
There's no moon in her sky
- He says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

No Goodbyes
For love brightens their eyes.
Don't say Adios, say Adios,
And do you know why
There's a love that won't die?
- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.

- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.
- Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.

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Enya is one of my favourite New Age artists...

this song is especially lovely, yet nostalgic, yet beautiful...

Sn1 mechanism

oh well, wishful thinking =)

this helps a lot...

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makes things more sensible...

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oh well =)

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Blest be the name of the Lord

Though all the hurt and pain

Great is Your Faithfulness

Oh Lord our God

confusion never stops

found out more... about my friend

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and I now know more... 

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do not be unequally yoked...

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you know... it can never be in God's will in that sense... even if you intend to try to bring the person to Christ

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the unequally yoked principal still applies, it is hard to be able to pair along with another person at a differing level of spiritual maturity

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I remember  Su Lin from church was sharing this:

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imagine you're on a table

and the non-christian/new believer is on the floor 

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which is easier, to pull a person up to your level

or for the other to pull you down...

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that by itself will be the main difference ever...

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I wonder... 

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so strange...

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anyway Sim Lim is one weird place...

I need to start mugging... or die...

closing walls and ticking clocks

Clocks - Coldplay:
Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh, I beg, I'm begging please
Singing: Come out, all things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head
And a trouble that can't be named
The tiger's waiting to be tamed
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Singing:
You are
You are
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Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop what you now know
Singing: Come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I a part of the disease?
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Singing:
You are
You are
You are
You are
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And nothing else compares
Oh, nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
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You are
You are
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Home
Home
Where I wanted to go

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maybe...

oh well =)

that would make the choice easier...

the moon is gone

but God remains...

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I just wonder so much...  and the confusion starts again

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I need to resolve things soon... or make a resolve...

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sighz

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I'll have to talk to someone else soon though...

Smile God loves you...

oh well

I actually got to go for a bit of the retreat =)

even though i didn't expect to be able to go there

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I guess God made a way in a very special way...,

Reaching back to school just on time to get a lift from Azmi after a rather tiring session at the church  music studio... any later and I would have missed it

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even more so since i didn't even know about it until Kenneth suddenly runs out of the room (when i just reached it) and exclaims that he was going for retreat...

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was looking through my blog stats of the past month yesterday (which is monitored by Google Analytics)

one of the more interesting things about monitoring blog stats is that one can see what google search terms landed up hitting  on the blog

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and besides the usual large volume of traffic from teachers doing blog searches; Who else would bother googling things like "Gabriel Phee" or "Ong Wei Chiang" or "Nirmala Silverajan" (lol, hi madam, the most awesome EA1 teacher in the world if you'll reading this =p)

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and apparently "Sze Jet" is quite a popular google hit on my blog for some strange reason as you can see below:

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today (and yesterday night) was full of what could be described as a sinking painful hurting sensation some where about the region of the chest... I dunno whether any of you have felt it before...

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but it was strange... I hadn't had it for a very long time... largely due to the fact I've been trying not to take things too seriously... and well just let it be(they sang that during Tday concert =)

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I guess finding out facts or stuff, and the fact that stuff can be either this or that way, one way or the other.... it becomes all too confusing and I'm really not sure how to deal with it...

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so reached school there about 7 plus, and walking over to FireAC from the roundabout and still feeling very lousy

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and talking with tim for one of the longer times... I guess he's sort of been through stuff before, and he would know a bit....

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but I guess the thing is... "do what your heart tells you to do... keep close to God and God will see you through..." as Tim said..

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yeah, so I ran about feeling lousy for pretty much the whole day...

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then was retreat, and some how it was rather uplifting. It was rather nostalgic, as i still remember the events of last year, captured in this blog post 

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"God is love..."

and I'm not so confused now i guess,  it is more that than this... and I just need to trust God in everything and keep close to Him

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oh well unlike the last retreat which i commented:

How does one jump from happy to sad to happy to sad so many times in one day???

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but it wasn't the case now, at least I remained cheerful and smiling

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and later spending a little time with the Y3s and the officers was good i guess

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although i didn't get to talk to some people... i wanted to talk to Zhuoer about stuff but i didn't see her, guess she didn't come...

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maybe tmr I wont be so cheerful...

but I know... He holds the future

and I know... He holds my hand.

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time will tell , I guess...

3 Bio Pracs

hmm

whacking IA at Tims house again... like so late...

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oh well

its fun talking to tim and using his comp

while using my comp at the same time...

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but msn really reduces productivity... maybe i should just appear offline

or maybe block everyone on my contact list 

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haha, I shall try to keep happy , even though whacking through so many pracs is depressing

I starting to hate the the word reliability and validity

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oh well glad its all over... like everything else

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Facade Truth

truth is better than lies

honesty is better than fabrication

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random song quotes:

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...its either this or that way

its one way or the other...(Enya - Anywhere is)

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I worry I won't see your face, lit up again... (Collide -Howie Day)

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but 

if you can't understand His plan

trust... in His hand( Tim Lim's blog)

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Sin like a Cancer...

sin is very much like a cancer... it starts out small... and grows bigger and bigger

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"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."(Isa 53:5)

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and God... is Our healer... not just from physical sickness but from our sin....

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"you know people always use this verse to claim healing"(Amanda to Charles, a BS sometime ago)

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may God heal you from your real sickness...  

Michael Guglielmucci

(which shall be refer to as "the pastor" as his name is too tedious to type) 

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and our sins... we all fall short in many ways...

but...

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9)

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its very sad to see the state of the church....

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not just of the pastor... he is a great musician, and chances are he does/might have a desire to honour God... except he let sin take over his life... and tried to cover it up... just like how even in the medical area... cancer patients try to hide their sickness from friends ad family...

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but we should always remember... 

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God uses imperfect people... in their weakness , He is made strong

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David in the bible was worse than the pastor anyway,

He committed sodomy and MURDER...

and like the pastor, tried to cover up...

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He confessed and repented

and he was called a man after God... 

he too wrote many songs... or psalms for God

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As a church... as a unified body of Christ... we should not simply just express our shock and horror... and pass judgement upon people... it is for God to judge

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but we should pray for people... pray for healing upon this aggressive cancer that is known as sin...

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and like cancer... sin leads unto death...

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but its saddening... we see Hillsong trying to "unperson" the pastor (I have their original dvd... which prominently features him, and his "testimony")

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oh well...

My wife is in hospital

two weeks without Tessa K. Taylor

=(

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Cures for Emoness

1. God

2. Friends

3. BEN and Jerry's Ice-cream =)

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relying on number 3 now...

I wonder

strangeness

and strangers

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because it can mean it one way or another...

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but eitherway the emo cycle is contagious

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sighz

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may it be...

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but smile because... God loves us... all dearly

and that is.... more than enough....

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"if you really want to you should... ..."

"but I don't want what happened to repeat itself, you realised I couldn't talk to ***"

"you sure?"

"I really couldn't "

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and now maybe I can ... just a bit...

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but its been nearly 9 months since the 27th December, and well... it still saddens me a bit... because nothing will ever come of it... I already knew that... 

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and I wonder if anything will come out of anything...

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晴天

Verse 1

故事的小黄花
从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在
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Verse 2:

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吹着前奏望着天空的我想起花瓣试着掉落.
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Pre Chorus
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
每想到失去勇气我还留着,
好想再问一遍,

你会等待还是离开
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Chorus
刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐大到我看你不见
还要多久我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点
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从前从前有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐把距离吹得好远
好不容易又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

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wonderful song to learn basic guitar hammers and flat picking
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but haha
Chinese emo song... dunno how many people don't like Chinese enough to NOT want to read it

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the problem with emoing

is that when you start emoing it becomes a cycle...

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the human mind/heart works in such a way, that sad people tend to drag out sadder memories, and it intensifies the whole thing.... almost like a multiplier effect of sort(and I don't take econs so pardon me if I'm not applying correctly)

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And another recording

In You I have Found My Worth

Verse 1:

I'll sing praises to the Lord of love
I'll sing praises to the Maker of earth
I'll sing praises cause You deserve, oh Lord
I'll sing praises with all I have worth
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Chorus:
I'll sing Hallelujah
Cause in You I have found my worth oh God
Cause in You I have found my worth
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Verse 2:
You're the Lord of the stars that shine above
You're the Lord of the whole universe
Yet You look upon me with Your great love
Who am I that I should deserve such love
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Chorus
I'll sing Hallelujah
Cause in You I have found my worth oh God
I sing hallelujah
You have bought me with Your great love oh God
And You have given me my worth
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Verse 3
Though I stumble and fall You pick me up
Though I stray far away, You'll be there for me
Though You know all my heart, You still love me
I can never be far from Your Great love
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Bridge
You have given me all my worth
the Lord who died for my shame
The Cross is all I have to boast
I'll sing forever of Your Love
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© 2008 Emil Ng, songs4him.wordpress.com

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Recorded with:

Ashley Morris (Tim's Guitar)

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anyway Tessa K. Taylor(My Guitar) ES Pickup somehow spoilt for some strange reason, meaning I'll have to send it for repair =(

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pathfinder

talking yet again to raphael

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strangely enough

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the stories we tell seem to ring the same tune

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nearly the same thing last year

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and nearly exactly the same thing this year

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except with one difference... which I might end up taking in the end...

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since everyone tells me that fleeting happiness is not worth it...

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so do names mean anything?

or not?

Wish I knew...

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happiness in the heart

puts sunshine in the day...

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be happy without happy

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I wonder why things can end up so unhappy

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and happy can be emo

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I love happy...

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hate evil

emo evil

evil is emo

oh no

why is the world emo?

time and place...

and the not so random post 

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 1 There is a time for everything, 
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
       a time for war and a time for peace.

 9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

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I guess that just something to reflect upon.... He has made everything beautiful in its time... 

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we should just trust in Him, and He'll make things beautiful in the right time... 

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In the mean time, dont take things too seriously... haha laugh about the times and weird little things we do =), because we don't need to emo over it, God is sovereign