nothingness

“meaningless! meaningless!“ says the teacher. ”everything is meaningless“ (Ecc 1:2)
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to many it may be their idea of fun
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after all being under the influence of CH3CH2OH that allows you to skip the normal mental barriers and stuff seems like something worth doing
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but in retrospect... I conclude this
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on one hand attempting to drink a lot just for the sake of trying to show off to another person that you can drink is a stupid idea
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attempting to reduce rationality to a point that you can admit certain emotions and feelings to another person is even stupider
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but the point is this... I realise very simply
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at the root of it all... in a state when everything is in a blur
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I found myself thinking of 2 things...

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in my life
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there are only 2 things that really matter to me
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God
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and someone else... whom I probably have to let go soon...
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I remember being pushed off.... so I guess it doesn’t matter...
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sigh...