Wednesday, 30 May 2007

WoW.... emotional ravings

Just came back from WoW...
-
Been Emo
Been Happy
Been Sad
Been Tired
Been Depressed
Yet God has been Faithful
He has been there all the time for me
His presence... ... even in Thailand , ... ... a land of idolatry and sin

Meanwhile
... ... and thinking ... ... now and then.... as I sat in the pickup truck en route to the construction site wondering... ... as I noticed some of my classmates of opposite genders ... as when crying after Talbot and Venu gave their stupid scolding to the whole class that interrupted my prayer meeting.
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... ... and a smile and wave again, today as I was leaving the airport .... thanks for momentarily cheering me up...
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and my mum asks me 'why so shy?' .... hmm.... why indeed, why?


And yes I do cry.... why does life... seem so hard at times...
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Cancer... ... death of dad, death of Aunty Eleanor,on Thursday when i was Overseas, one of my mum's Christian friends who sort of ... helped a lot in encouraging me.
Fear and Insecurity?
-
But in the midst of the storm
You'll still be faithful
And I will be still and know You are God
For I know You hold tomorrow
and I know You hold my hand
-
(To be continued..... too tired to blog about details of WoW experiences yet)

Friday, 18 May 2007

You are a God who saves

You are a God who saves
Chorus:
My soul finds rest in God alone;
My salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock, my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
My hope is in You my God;
You’re my mighty rock, my refuge.
I will trust in You at all times
And You will be my refuge
-
Verse1:
You alone are my Lord and King
And yes I know that there is nothing
That brings such joy that only You can bring
Your love that covers everything
-
Verse2
And You my God have paid the price
Dying on that cross to save my life
Lord who am I that You my Christ
Would love a sinner such as I
-
Bridge1:
Holy, holy, Holy God
Faithful, Lovely, Worthy Lord(repeat)
-
Bridge2:
You are a God who saves
Yes You a are God who saves
You are a God who saves
Yes You are a God who saves(Repeat)


A song I've tried to write since last year , but got stuck trying to get inspiration for the verses...
much of the inspiration comes from the Psalms, notably Psalm 62 and those around the 60-70 area.
Psalms of trust and salvation... ... I need to trust You more Lord...
-
really have little/ no time to do anything , I've got 4 chem Pracs, Grp4 project report, Math portfolio & Tok essay to do... by the end of the term before WoW starts.... dunno how am I going to complete them ; with choir still in Competition training mode after SYF silver...now Genting ,
and also esp since i cracked my Laptop screen again , meaning I cant bring it to school to do work =(
Oh well...
My soul finds rest in God alone;
Give me Your rest Lord

-
I might try following Tim and recording the song During the holidays after Wow and Genting....
darn... have to mug also :( midyears coming up at term 3
oh well....
-
Sadness that still strikes me at times, glancing at ... ...ndian gu....claims:"I don't support Christianity" ... ...FireAC ... ... "why"... ... huh?
(lol helping words/phrases to construct story for those who know what I'm talking about? Nmind if you didn't understand , you don't need to know, I'm probably as confused as you are?)
-
Yet times of refreshing between, I daresay being busy may be good , take my mind of certain things.... lol drowning in homework a way to de-stress? like Tim?
-
oh well....

Monday, 7 May 2007

`Turning points, And Memories

down memory lane…events that shaped my life or bring fond memories

1994 – Enrolled in Galilee Presbyterian church kindergarten (first heard about Jesus)

1996 – Enrolled in NYPS (shaping the next 6 years of my life), Got “diagnosed” (or rather labelled) with Attention Deficit Disorder (self-esteem)

1998 – Did not get in to GEP but ironically got accepted into Mensa with an IQ score of 145(Top 0.1%tile) (self-esteem problems)

December 2001 – Dad gets diagnosed with Brain Cancer

January 2002 – After a hemorrhagic stroke caused by a ruptured tumour and subsequent brain operation … Dad is different…

Easter 2002 – Mum & Dad & I accepts Christ as Personal Lord and Saviour

December 2002 – PSLE posting results: ACS(Independent)
January 2003 – Joined BB & Choir

February 2003 – Dad passes away… life will be different from now on

July 2003 – Winded up in the middle of the SYF 2003 choral competition (I.e. cocked up big time,)

Late 2003/Early 2004 – Stopped attending church

February 2004 – met Rodney and Levin in Choir

October 2004 –Application to join the IP programme fails …… have to get through the O-level programme, got posted to class of 3.2/4.2(2005/06)

January 2005 – OEP Shanghai … a lot of things there happened… kind of affected my self esteem a lot (no longer could be a teachers pet)

January 2005 – got invited to attend Alpha Course at Grace Methodist church by Esther Kong (my mum’s friend), met Matthew Han and Glynn

February 2005 – met Johnathan See, Ti Wan Feng & Mervyn in Choir

March 2005 – Started attending church at GMC, grew spiritually by a lot

June 2005 – Jeremy Goh starts playing Christian songs over the piano by chords… got me interested to try to learn playing keys and improvisation

December 2005 – Church camp “Victorious Christian Living” received spiritual gift of tongues

January 2006 – Ms Shue Carolyn Cheng, class teacher for 4.2 …

January 2006 – First time I lead worship in BB, and first time I played keys for church Junior Youth Fellowship service

February 2006 – BB Sec1s of 2006 … Shane, Shahdan, Malcolm, Russell, Junyi, Wescott(even though you quit in the end), David, Ben Liau, Yugaraj…. And more…been such an encouragement at times.

March 2006 – TA2 Camp CE I/C, Learnt a lot from it. And I started learning how to play Guitar :p

May 2006 – Acquired my first Guitar, a Yamaha F-310P

June 2006 – Khon Kaen Mission trip (First time working very closely with Kenneth Lim, the only other BB boy with me, other then fond memories and the stupid prank he played on me, learnt a lot)

July 2006 – got hauled up in Dr Ong’s office for being rule to a teacher, got an ultimatum from Dr Ong, “Get sent to me 1 more time…. Expulsion”

05 Aug 2006 – Performed as part of choir in Haven the musical.(see My Anchor Refuge and Haven)

08 Aug 2006 – Got Gold award for BB (see Reflections)

12 Aug 2006 – ROD parade(see R.O.D.)

24 Aug 2006 – Nearly got sent to Dr Ong’s Office by Shue, luckily he had meeting , so ended up in Yvonne Lim’s office instead… close shave to expulsion (see: The struggles of life (and a prayer))

28 Aug- 19 Sept 2006 – Prelim exams(See: Weee first Prelim(e) Exam... & New Blogskin & LAST EXAM)

02 Oct 2006 – Prelim results 8 Raw points(See: Prelims Aftermath )

28 Oct 2006 – Choir Alto party :p (See: alto party and other stuff )

November 2006 – O Level exams, PAE & got into IB

December 2006 – GMC Youth Camp “Plunge”

January 2006 – Met a lot of new people… Cielito, Lee Min, Cheryl L, Evelyn, Amanda G, Audrey, Christine L, M K, Kerriann, Tessa… and many more

January 2007 – FireAC started

3 Feb 2007 – Someone pops by in BB and joins in…..

9-10 Feb 2007 – Choir camp(Lead worship)

12-16 Feb 2007 – The emotional up & downs….begin, someone seems to be coming quite early to FireAC, and, erm….

14 Feb 2007– Choir singing Valentines lol….

16 Feb 2007– A prayer meeting with Wesley, Tim Lim, Kenneth, Alex lua , XL & Amanda G(See: Joy...personal )

8 Mar 2007 – “Peace, Bread, MEN” (Intenational Womans day )

16 Mar 2007 – Got my Taylor 314ce =)

2-4 Apr 2007 – Religious Emphasis Week

6 April 20067– Good Friday ( went for Ben liau/Jeremy Goh’s musical see: Redeemer, Savior, Friend)

8 April 2007– Easter Sunday

26 April 2007 – FireAC@Koinonia

8 May 2007 – Choir SYF…. Tomorrow…



God has been Faithful

and even though my Earthly father is gone... for now, I have a Heavenly Father, who loves me...and is an Almighty God

as for my emotions, and sadness, and.... I have to trust... trust in You

Yet I Wish.... and wonder...

Friday, 4 May 2007

Beyond Loneliness

Tim Lim last 2 blog posts http://limmdt.blogspot.com/ ....about loneliness

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Either way, Loneliness.... no stranger to me..... even so....
I'm probably one of the more lonely people you'll find ... been with little friends since primary school and never talked properly to other people a lot... (discounting the rubbishy extra talk)
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If there is anyone you'll find likely to find alone, when everyone else seems to be sitting around chatting with friends... ... Thats me

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But beyond that... there is always one thing since I accepted Him as my Savior. I have a friend to talk to anytime and He will always listen no matter what.
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I am not alone.... yet..... I sometimes... wish I could..... talk..... and.... just.... have other close friends, and well.... beyond that.... I dunno.... what... I ...want....
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I feel so lost sometimes
-
yet He still knows me and loves me and cares... for me

-
What a friend I've found
Closer than a Brother........
....
Jesus ... You're my friend forever...

Maybe I should stop the emo posts... but...
again.... why am I still so emotional,
its been nearly 3 months
since the trouble
started....
why??
Again maybe its more than that... maybe it like a row of dominoes that you push one and it leads to more trouble......
....
I need an anchor
I need----- Jesus