pink room, pink tiles

it seems that everything works by Newton’s 3rd law
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Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi.
For a force there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions.
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the more I try to move nearer, the further it moves away
the more I try to break apart, the nearer it goes
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forces working in opposite direction

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I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my resolves
if this keeps on
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but having spent so much time these few days in peoples company
it seems that I’ve forgotten that I didn’t want to care
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and its not on her behalf
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I said I’ve let go
but no one ever said letting go involved flinging it far away
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so does it mean it’s still is allowed to float around and taunt me?

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on the other hand
if I let time take its course
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God will know what to do right?
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it seems like I wanted to say it myself
and attribute the words to someone else instead
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I’ve built so many facades over myself
I dunno who’s the real me now?
only you 2 know
but even so I’ve never revealed everything to both of you eitherway
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because I don’t know how you would respond...
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being in uncomfortable circumstances
I just don’t know how to feel about it...