people change overtime
for the better, or for the worse
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so do I
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the choice of words one uses can have impact upon people
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somehow, like it was a dig against what I used to be
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because it reminds me of a time where I used to think my world revolved around you
and merely being addressed in such endearing manners would mean a lot
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for now, I simply go into defensive...
because I took so much pain and trouble to convince myself that you were not worth it
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that feeling hurt because I felt that the things you did, the clothes you wear
are what God hates...
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and I don’t want to go back to where I was before...
besides, I never really meant much to you anyway...
little drops of sarcasm and indifference to the stupid jokes cracked
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now that you somehow have concluded that I’ve ‘switched targets’ from you
and now am ‘terrorising’ someone else other than you
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its easy to laugh it off, because it definitely wasn’t like the way it was with you
except a little awkwardness at times, there is always a limit to how close a friend can be...
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but somehow like the harry potter in Half-blood prince
the emotion that calls itself jealousy sometimes manifests itself it ways I cannot understand
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I can trick and persuade my intellect...
but I cant trick my emotions...
sadly
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I cannot become too attached to either one of you
since both of you will be going separate ways soon
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moving on to make new friends and life on a whole
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but I still want to spend as much time as I can with you all while I can
because you both mean a lot to me... as precious friends I have poured my heart into...
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and someday, even if we never see each other in this life on earth
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I pray, we will stand before God in the day of judgement righteous before Him
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and worship Him together and thank Him for the times He has blessed us with
I’m exhausted I’m tired No energy nor desire My thoughts are to blame My
mind is a liar I’ve tried and tried to keep you quiet But even your
silence ma...
4 years ago
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