day 3 confine

somehow the past never seems to be able to escape you ... When you feel wronged, after all taking everything in a good light versus a sucky attitude ... But i guess, turn the other cheek ...

Day 2 - *taboo* off

Like all other institutions, the regulations about bloging remain the same. As it is, with regard to activities, refer to facebook .
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Anyway while fitting into the greatly lessened regimentation seems easy after 4 years of bb under mr sim. As it is, i guess adapting to this sort of lifestyle is relatively easy. 
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However the culture, esp with regards to the superiors seem hard to accept, especially since it is a counter to my belief system. Whether it was the nsf sispec or the reasoned regular, or even the retired major, colourful language normally taboo was a norm today... Sigh, i must have had the word spoken about 100 plus times today, coupled with a load of coarse jokes about girlfriends and sex
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To Be in the world but not of the world, to shine like stars in the universe...
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Help me fulfill this calling Lord...

Day one In tekong

Has been good so far, although i haven't seen any christians in my section. See my facebook for break down of them activities today
Any way God has been there. And perhaps more time i have to seek him ... Hopefully, the rest of the days wont be too bad , and i can draw near to him more 
Any way i think my sec one ta 2 was more fierce than this ... So it seems every thing is fine , the instructors are nice and every thing

Anyway cant write much, shd be sleeping during lights out

Anyway i wonder why cant they have more privacy in the showers =(

ferry me across the waters

2 weeks away in Tekong
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i wonder what life has to bring...
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ahh sigh
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some people I will really miss having around...
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perhaps, that really just part of life...
moving on...
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anyway yeah... the first time I’m out...
I wonder...
its probably like stepping out of a dark cave
into a brave new world
all over again...
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when all else fades my soul will dance with You
where the love last forever...

Multi-core Processing

apparently this is one of the things a macbook PRO is made for... rendering 11 videos simulateously into Mpeg4 format(since the G700 doesnt like .mov formats) to put in my phone
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lol
one more day to tekong
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and I just found another irk about the G700
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No “share your internet conenction over bluetooth” function
(i.e. no using bluetooth PAN to share internet)
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which means, if you’re using a Mac, you cant get internet out of this phone that easily, you need the PC suite, which is simply put, “PC only”
Stupid Sony Erricsson
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zzz... hopefully i can find out how to get internet before BMT is over...

and apparently sony has a built in blogging application

except its exclusively for photo blogging..,
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dotz, whats the point of photo blogging with a phone without a camera?

Mobile blogging

Hmm... If blogging via my new sony erricson phone is going to be such a pain... I dont really imagine my self blogging much in tekong
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anyway the touch screen phone is really awesome , g700 without camera,which means i can bring it to army. The phone also is a uiq phone, something similar to the s60 phones i used before,except its more catered to a touch screen sort of thing . However, for some strange reason, there aren't any good blogging software out there, despite the phone surporting both j2me and symbian.

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I sort of didn't get the best deal for the phone though, singtel apparently had one of those random 1 week offer things when i was busy at sgh. And after that decided to not stock it. Which meant i had to hunt high and low to be able to get a shop which have it with contract

for 200‭+ instead of the free phone with contract i could have got.

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Anyway posted from the web ui with my phone using opera mobile. Luckily that's a decent enough browser, comparable with safari mobile.
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And i realised to my horror, the the web interface via opera mobile lacked a publish button -_-
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guess its back to the mail to blogger method for now ...
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Sent from my mobile device - edited on my comp...

"better to keep me happy"

Qt...
as I think about God
about life
about the bible
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it all revolves around a central principle - that of love
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after all men were created in the very image of God
and
“God is love”
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and men hence were made to love, to love God wholeheartedly
and to love your neighbour as yourself...
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in my attempt to not hurt myself anymore
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I seem to have forgotten everything about this central principle...
sigh
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even about stuff
you know... just like how 2 jokers were talking right in front of me in wah chee nearly a year ago
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like how i can hear things, like today with piggy and stuffy
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“we should talk about it when we get home”(stuffy)
“?”(me)
“better to keep you happy”(stuffy)
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you realised I’ve not really blogged much recently about stuff like this recently
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perhaps... I don’t really want to think too much...
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not like it matters anyway...

And I'm not Petrina

the post below was written by a certain piggy cheng btw
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lol
I’m not that lame lol
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I am Emil

Hear me roar.

I am skinny. As skinny as Britney Spears.

All of you say that I’m fat. but. I’m not!

One day I’ll hide in a corner and cry, and it’ll be all YOUR fault. because you guys keep calling me fat. It’s not fair. I’m not.

I think Michael Jackson is quite cool. I like his hair. but too bad I won’t ever have it. cause of this thing called ARMY.

I like it when people blog for me. cause then I won’t have to think about what I want to say. and more importantly, also cos I like people to make fun of me. I think it’s really cool. kinda makes me feel popular (:

I’m on a diet btw. if you catch me eating any meat related stuff (I’m going vegetarian! It’s much healthier.), please remind me to pay you 10 bucks.

zzz. sigh.

I’m going off to sleep too. More sleep will help me lose weight too. (I AM REALLY SKINNY THOUGH, WHY AM I LOSING WEIGHT! OH WELL)

ZZZ NIGHTZ

Gone Away Home

Gone Away Home
© 2007 Emil Ng

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another composition I did a long time ago
another logic recording
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1 week more...

My perfect keyboard setup

1- Fully weighed 88 keyboard + cabinet speakers (e.g. Yamaha Clavi)
2- Sufficiently fast Macbook Pro/iMac/Mac pro (a customised touch screen would also be nice=p)
3- Logic Main stage with all the nifty sound patches
4- Logic control board mixer (to do the patch levels etc.)
--------------------------
complete control over the sound
haha =p

not like it matters anyway...

I guess...
I don’t know...
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do I still want it or not?
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and even so
not like it matters anyway....

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sigh...
i wonder how it felt like...
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how it was with a bunch of jokers laughing at me 2 months back when they read it...

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you know, this blog is a place where i record down my spiritual, emotional and physical experiences of life...
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but i wonder how it is when other people relive these experiences through reading my words...
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after all, these experiences involve other people and places
a silent testimony which only the people involved would know
since I never ever mention names as far as I can...
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190

there was a case file in the critical care area...
which read
“do not let pt diagnosis be known to pt”
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we went to talk to the old lady
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in mandarin
speaking to us about compassion in medicine
about how we as students aspiring to be doctors
have compassion for the patients
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a really nice person
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“You guess how old I am?”
“...60+?”
“82 years”
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no

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Lung Cancer...
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“Age
consider palliative care as an option”
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medical attachment certainly is an eye-opener
something to think about I guess
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letting go

its more than just how i feel about friends
and people
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letting go, my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations
into God’s hands
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I don’t understand
so many times
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disappointment
that’s a lot of what I know now
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even whatever few successes
they may be regarded in failures too
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stuff I felt so strongly about
they never happened
they never came to pass...
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if faith is being sure of things hoped for
and certain of what i cannot see
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I have no faith
hope has brought so many disappointments
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I dunno how to show love
if by doing so
I end up creating more hate
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simply put
I’m just totally burnt out
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just waiting for Tekong resort
to put me somewhere
perhaps
where I can find God again

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“you need to learn that world doesn’t revolve around you”
but its really more than that
perhaps
people think I’m just immature in the way I handle things
but seriously
I know why
but not how
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sigh
if only perhaps...
I wish
everything stays the way it is
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yet
its all part of growing up
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I know
He has called me...
to somewhere
some place
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May He show it to me...
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sighs
I wish my mind would stop drifting away...
somehow...

38

if you could say how it goes
no matter how we look at it
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I remember back then
“with God all things are possible“
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even with the report and everything
but later it was okay...
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so is it the same for whatever I have now?
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sighs
only time will tell
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in a state,
wondering where to go, what to do and everything
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sighs
I wish it wouldn’t go away...
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Guts

jay/cee ♥ contours of hope never fade says (1:16 AM):
O.O
sighh well hope for the best this tues and see how it goes  (:
PRAY haha i'm gonna do QT now, will pray for u guts!
* guys
oops
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yeah... my guts are going to be in mortal danger this tuesday
haha
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ah well
time will tell...

Somewhere over the rainbow

sometimes... I wonder how to gather my thoughts,
and decipher everything..
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you know... I attended a Church wedding ceremony in church on new years day
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and yet again, I was reminded of this verse, which I held dear to me
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Ecc 3:11a
He has made everything beautiful in its Time...
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