A E F

I felt devastated today
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perhaps... it was true... “better to keep me happy”...
like what was said at Mad Jacks 2 months back...
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somehow i cannot understand...
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from an attitude of:
“sure got shelter”,
and not giving a damn
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“sure it matters...
it shows that they don’t care...”
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if they don’t care... well?
I guess it never said anything about me...

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“just left... ... have you’ll eaten yet?...”
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“wait a while
wait....
how long does it take?”
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but no one waited or looked for me after that...
left outside Carl’s Junior alone
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everything is fair
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since otherwise
everyone has a right of choice
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you don’t need to
if you don’t want
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you can do anything you want...
i can only keep silent... that’s the way it should be always
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“I don’t want to go for the **** thing... **** just wants the guys”
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i felt outraged
i kept it to myself...

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sigh =(
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Poc day - 10th mar
i wonder what else...
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I tried so hard to make everyone happy
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I only ended up upsetting myself more and more
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sigh =(

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to be fair
it isn’t anybody’s fault...
it’s just mine... =(
i let myself get affected by stuff that shouldn’t affect me
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and i guess, by writing it all out, I’m just being selfish...
maybe... like what some people do, I’m just emotionally blackmailing people subtly
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maybe, yet I might be being moved around like a puppet...
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I know you’ll who don’t care will just laugh
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somehow i just needed an outlet =(