Call to readiness

when God called Jonah to preach to Nineveh, he wasn’t ready...
but God called him all the same
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when God called Jeremiah, he said this:
“ah Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I’m only a boy”
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but God replied:

“Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’,
for you shall go to all to whom I send you,
and you shall speak whatever I command you.
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver them”
(Jeremiah 1:6-8)

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when I was called to serve the ministry of FireAC 2 years ago,
I was aware of the cost... but I was never ready per se...
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God taught my many lessons over the past 2 years,
He broke me down, and build me up again...
which have changed me and made me a better person...
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a certain Mr Ng said this before

“God equips the called, rather than call the equipped”

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I guess I do know...
perhaps, I do know a lot of things have been there
that might so called ‘justify’ the “for the sake of the boys” reason
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but God did say:

“if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come”(2 Cor 5:17)

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I need to somehow truly detach myself away from the old stigmas that have always been associated with me... all my life
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somehow it doesn’t seem right
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why is it that people in church view me as being more responsible and mature; I never had to deal with old stigmas and circumstances when i joined a few years back.
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while my peers in school do not?
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my juniors might think otherwise; having known me at a much later date
but I still don’t know...
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I guess it is because of the old ways
somehow maybe
in time to come
when I do finally shed all these
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that is when,
everything I hoped before
will come to pass...
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but if it doesn’t, it is still in God’s will

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I wonder if you do realise
I really do take what you say to heart...