you can stretch and try to hold more things together
put too many things and the rubber snaps
I hesitate to say what really on my mind…
even if I turn it off and blame myself the outcome feels the same…
don’t come and bite me now, I don’t have the time and energy to deal with this matter…
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8
Just a thought (: after a long night/ morning with thai language.
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And in case you’re wondering, the Thai words of the title spell : wan waa len thay - or Valentine's Day. Seems pretty apt to think about what love means on this day right?
We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19
Was supposed to visit the columbarium in the morning to visit my dad’s niche, but somehow I woke up at 3am, and couldn’t get back to sleep after that. so decided not to go as I really wasn’t feeling well…
Apparently I fell sick (muscle aches all over)… sigh.
Anyway I never liked visiting that place somehow…
Anyway as if falling sick during CNY is bad enough, being treated by relatives as if I’m some infectious disease is worse. Thankfully I had a decent excuse to shut myself in the room and avoid socialising - and the usual awkward questions:
“你现在读哪个大学？为什么不读NUS？你现在有女朋友吗？”
Sigh, and I was supposed to do up one of my web design jobs by CNY, and plus one Thai Written Assignment homework. :( Dunno how am I going to drag myself to do it this way…
And the weird dreams come back over and over again to haunt me…
Wonder why I feel that way…
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But:
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.
(Hebrews 6:19-20)
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?
(Luke 9:23-25)
Interesting how the same word: Denial, can mean different things in different contexts. We don’t live in denial of the truth and try to deceive ourselves, but we live denying our sinful selves to lead a life following God.
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But to what extent do we end up losing our identity? Our identity should be built upon Christ, who has give us a unique identity and place as his co-heirs. And theres no point keeping the temporal to lose it, but it means everything to keep the eternal….
because God has been faithful, and God will continue to be faithful
HY9310 - Philosophy of Science: says that statement is not entirely certain due to the ‘problem of induction’.
nevertheless I want to believe, in faith, that this is true (:
Hope ignites new beginnings and a new life once again. But yet it also means that we have an increased propensity to be disappointed again when the reality of life fails to meet our expectations.
While the experience might have reignited a greater passion for God and to learn to trust Him more, it had a similar effect on an old issue I simply tossed aside to be drowned out by work and everything else.
I want a heart that is right before God, a heart of cheerful obedience towards God, that depends solely on Him to provide grace for me.
But I’m scared I’ll get hurt again by this old issue. I don’t want it to end up dragging me down again, but yet my thoughts keep wandering back to it. And the emotions that went into it became even stronger after weeks of repression and distraction. I thought it would have been easier to just confront it in its earlier stages and move on. But I never had a chance …
I spoke to Marc about it a few days back about how I felt, along with the other issue. His response was: “just got to see how it goes”. Maybe thats the best advice I can get for now. Strange thing is this has every possibility to go either way. But whatever happens I want an outcome that glorifies God more, and that brings people closer to Christ, and that builds people up to love Him more…
God, give me wisdom. I guess there’s no straight and easy solution to this one…
We had CF the other day, Bible study on Daniel 5. Somehow I disagreed with how they managed to link the passage (a very stretched link) - where we extend our views and treatments of what is sacred to other religions. I disagreed because in doing so, aren’t we saying all religions are equal? I know there are people who push for this agenda, but fundamentally I don’t think Christianity should hold this view.
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Rather we don’t go around desecrating what others hold as sacred to them because we’re not out to incite hate among our neighbours. We know in our hearts what is true, hence we may not accord the same respect and reverence they may have towards their religious objects. However out of respect for them as people, we accord the same love God extends to us…
Anyway it got me thinking about what modern Christianity defines as sacred. We don’t accord the same respect to our physical bibles the way the Muslims view their Koran. We don’t go around praying to crosses and statues either. In the sense what is sacred is no longer about what is physical, what is spiritually important to us. I broke it down into a few things:
The Word of God, and The Gospel of Christ, which is not found merely in books and paper, but in the hearts of all believers. Far too often we don’t take this seriously enough, where we accept false teachings and distorted views of what Christianity is about.
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Holy Communion, Marriage & Baptism. Most of us have no problem agreeing that baptism and holy communion should be taken seriously. On the other hand, far too often, we don’t pay much attention to how we should marry. Treating marriage as sacred means we have to be very intentional and careful about choosing our partners, because our choices can have an impact on our spiritual lives and our walk as Christians.
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Spiritual Gifts, lest we be like the fool in the parable of the talents, who buried his talents away and was ultimately judged by God
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
(Ps 27:8)
Not just in the times of trouble.
Not just in the times of peace.
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but at all times, independent of the circumstances around me, independent of the relationships I have with the people around me…
I guess this bittersweet mix of euphoria and passion has to end somewhere…
but lets keep the flame burning on…
The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. (Ps 34: 15)
Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Ps 34:5)
It’s only in the time of tribulation and trial that we learn to grow ever closer to God.
God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)
Jesus said: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)
You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden (Matt 5:14)
It’s been a stressful 2 days fighting out everything. It’s was also a strange afternoon of swirling emotional entropy & suppression. I hope my heart is set on the right thing though. And I want to trust that God will bring me through this, and whatever else happens along the way, that His will be done…
Rewrite everything you know, see and hold dear
and undo, restart once again…
Sin is insidious, it lurks in a corner
Compromise leads you down a path of almost no return.
because the ends end up justifying the means
God why do you have to torture me in this way, with so many conflicting thoughts…
It’s bad enough that I have to deal with this while trying not to lower my guard...
