As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”
These things I remember, as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Psalms 42:1-4
I know I’ve spamming verses here for a couple of days, but it has been different these few days. Somehow each word I read becomes new to me again, and it hasn’t been that way for really long.
I remember I used to do much more in serving, FireAC, Church, BB etc. I stopped for a while, and I kinda realised this, serving in ministry really helps one to stay on closer to God. When you’re out there, dependant on God to work through you, the process changes you somewhat.
But I also know what it is to struggle with sin, and with pride. I know what it is to feel so inadequate and helpless, to feel utterly defeated and tired because it seems as if everyone you know has rejected you and turned against you…
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalms 42:5-6a
I’m still asking God the same questions, about what’s to happen in the future to come. I guess there are some things that still really mean a lot to me, but I wonder if I need to give them up to God. But I really don’t want to be naive and think it’s an easy task to discern God’s direction, emotional bias, and rationality. So I guess I’ll leave it as that…
I guess I should get more sleep too. And I really need to work more on my time management. Doing last minute Thai Language 听写 revision is really not very effective.
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