You are the one I want...

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I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make you mine
You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I've been thinking of changing my mind
It never stays the same for long
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologise my way to you
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want, you are the one I want

[Chorus]
I won't find what I am looking for
If I only see by keeping score
'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic

'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one
I want

When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung your song

You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want

Giftings

Throughout the past 3 years... as I served in various school ministries...
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BB, FireAC, Choir,
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I have been encouraged in various ways, after each of the many sessions of worship I lead in these sessions,
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when someone comes up to me and says that God really touched them as I ministered to them through the songs
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simply, I never really understood
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how is it that God can use me, a vessel so unworthy, to minister to people through the worship songs
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after all many times, I feel as if I’m simply going through the motions of ‘doing what I usually do’
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seeking after God before starting out in worship
coming clean before Him
and inviting his presence into the midst of us
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of course when i first started out
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I never really have an idea what i was doing
after a number of lessons learnt along the way
I sort of understood what corporate worship encompasses
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Today as I, for the first time, lead the children in the Sunday school(Gracestar) to sing songs while playing acoustic... Auntie Cynthia was leading them in prayer and actions
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it was nothing particularly special... me as a vocalist and instrumentalist, with Yelin singing as well
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but today was different... it wasn’t the same like the past few instances seeing the sian sian faces of the kids
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it was as if they really wanted to worship God today...
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perhaps worship, leading worship in particular
not just wielding a guitar or keyboard
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perhaps that really is God’s gifting for me
and where He is calling me to...
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I wonder...

Living on His Mercy and grace

essentially
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somehow God has been very faithful to me
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a lot of times I could have gotten into trouble and all that
but so far, He has delivered me from all these...
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yet I wonder
is it possible to take for granted the grace and mercy He shows us?
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after all He is a God of justice as well
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somehow all of us in one way or another show this sinful, bad quality
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we, like Peter, deny Christ, sin against Him, and drag His Name in the mud over and over again
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yet, how, that God could, as far as the east is from the west, remove our sins? (Ps 103:12)
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God is Love... a Love that adds value to worthlessness
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A Love beyond reason indeed...

Conflict

personal commitments i make
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they always seem to be clashing with everything else
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physical discipline is easiest to manage
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mental discipline is hard though
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I worry
about everything
even though I know worrying doesn’t make a difference
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I worry where to go after army
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I worry that I’ll end up distancing myself from particularly close friendship built over the past few years
esp when I stay here, and they go...
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I know God tells us that we don’t gain anything by worrying
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even the sparrows have food, the flowers bloom and are clothed
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but its hard not to think about it
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