REM rebound

3 consecutive nights of lack of sleep, of burning hope, and of persistent self doubt
Is what marks the CFFOC camp this year for me I guess.

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The sense of what we achieved this camp is very different from what I remembered the last few camps to be. God may be doing something different this year I guess, hopefully this continues to grow and revive our ministry here in NTU.

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Yet I sometimes wonder and think: What have I got myself into?
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The burden of responsibility, the fact that very real lives are at stake in this ministry. The fact that although we seem to finally kicked off the ignition to start the community engagement ministry, yet I’m still wondering whether we’re finally moving in the right direction.

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And the uncanny semblance to some aspects of last year that I remember. I don’t want another thing to bog me down this sem, not when I just starting to come to grips with the past, not when there’s so much expected from me and for me to do.
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Maybe I think too much, but it’s still scaring me. The weird dreams related to CF and other stuff are starting to creep me out.