what ifs

last words - various artists
then you must show me your new.... friend... must be cute okay, not like...
-

---

-----------------
-
hypothetically if that happened...
-
I mean I try to convince myself
-
that everything would be alright ...
-
that I’ll just say the cliche of ‘its all in God’s will’ and therefore I’ll be thankful and give thanks to God
-

---

-----------------
-
but maybe in reality
-
maybe I would be crushed beyond measure
-
maybe I would just fall into a trap of cynicism
-
and maybe...

---

-----------------
-
there really isn’t any point of thinking about it now
-
I found myself thinking about what I am not
-
I’m not perfect, more imperfect than so many other people
-
maybe it’s just another form of discouragement
-

---

-----------------
-
seasons in life come and go
-
circumstances don’t make sense so many times
-
we all fall short of what we could be
-
but I guess
-
everything works by the grace of God... only He can piece together all the broken pieces of life
-
So I pose a question
-
God is this really a thorn in the flesh meant for me to endure, so I can truly say that Your grace is sufficient for me, and You power is made perfect in my weakness?
-
or it’s a test of time? a test of how much I’m willing to change, to learn, to grow in maturity...

---

-----------------
-
maybe I should just listen to advice a close, precious friend of mine told me... 2 years ago
-
‘why do you still hang on to some hope when you know there's practically none?’
-
‘and yeah just look forward to pure friendship i guess’
-
‘it’s better than nothing’
-
‘cos well if there's some element of hope’
-
‘then of course it's worth hanging on to that feeling (maybe) ‘
-

---

so is there hope, at all? i wonder...