Stop and Stare

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onOTaGayhU4

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I’m think I’m moving but I get nowhere...
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sometimes it seems this seems to be the case
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where am I one year away from the past?
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I’ve moved away from what I thought was precious in the past
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I see...
but its gone away; too far away
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if life is really a lot about finding fulfilment - at least from the view of the secular, hedonistic man...
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so say I thought computer games were the thing that was fulfilling - sec3,4
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I thought being with somebody whom I liked was considered fulfilling - year 5,6
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but I realised everything so wrong about it, why it wont work, why it was a good thing it wasn’t mutual...
why everyone kept telling me off
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so if something makes sense yet no sense to me...
so if dan comments on why I can readily accept the flaws of one but not another...
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its difficult to make out how I feel about stuff...
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since I’ve more or less alone when it comes to my inner emotions and feelings, I never share them with anyone anymore...
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I know God knows... but
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I need to take comfort from that...
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that He makes all things beautiful
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in His time... ...

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I need to stop procrastinating about applying to NUS
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I know I cant get the first choice I want - no med/dentistry
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I know I shouldn’t go overseas... no matter how tempted I am to apply to a far far place at the other side of the globe
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sigh.... =/