Thoughts

- password linked post(to be written)

-edit, decided not to.... but it has something to do with what people write

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Fool Again - Westlife

Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
-
Chorus:
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend,
how was I to know?
You never told me
-
Baby, you should've called me,
when you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
too many chances to show you
how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus:
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend,
how was I to know?

Bridge

You never told me

About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could,
I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

-

somethings are simply not worth the pain...

-

heh

-

I seen it, people, christians/non-christians alike, rush unto things... when they're not ready...

-

we make mistakes, yet its better to learn from others...

-

A close friend of mine once said:

"I questioned that before, whether its possible to have both God and girl ... ... realised you can't have both... without compromise..."

-

God is enough, God will provide, =) someday we'll find it... in His time

-

haha

the right thing to do...

it to focus on God... chase after Him

-

Ecclesiastes 12:2

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth...before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"-

---

heh

-

Human subjects for a biology experiment:

-

myself

Cielito

Benlee

Mdm Rena

Mdm Yong

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anyone one else care to volunteer? Y5s can kope this for a EE if you want

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"Dont need to worry lah ... think there are some some who might like you..."(Mdm Yong)

-

really? that was after I made a comment about rather not get married than get married to a "Vietnamese bride"... she was talking about going to somebody's wedding... "Singaporean girls are too picky" lol

-

heh it may sound like I'm being discriminatory... but I will not trade the gift of singlehood for something less than worthy...

-

and it'll be hard , unless the person has been through life the way you've done, and know the stuff one talks about.

-

it could be so beautiful... but it can turn so ugly too... i seen it all... broken families... broken homes...

-

ah well

-

just my thoughts...

Tequila samba

choir yesterday... was rather tired out... a bit of a headache at anyrate... sectionals

-

but heh... was fun nonetheless

-

we plays some really lame defrosting games, haha that certainly cheered me up a bit

-

the eye contact game lol, the weird action game

-

"dont tilt you head"

-

lol

ah well

-

"prick their conscience"

-

Lol according to Janice... something must have pricked my conscience to come back to choir...

-

haha... yet

-

let it be I guess...

-

---

I wonder why i did join back... even after so much... and so little...

-

I guess its fine... I do get to talk to Sze Jet, Levin, Martin, amongst other people...  

-

but ah well

-

---

the complexities of human emotion

-

it is very possible to feel many things at the same time... and it adds to the confusion..

-

its possible to feel elated yet depressed, happy yet sad, extroverted yet lonely...

-

and tired, sian, yet enthusiastic

-

oh well...

Ecclesiastes

It seems

-

so much

-

that life so often seems to be based upon meaningless pursuit

-

---

Computer Gaming... initially was that, DotA, CS, CnC, – meaningless, yet still played, for a lack of a better way to waste time

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then... IB came along

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(moderated - Password protected)

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heh

been picking up that old habit again....

gaming....

a form of escapism

-

or maybe

I should follow Tim

and drown myself in the everlasting sea of IB work

---

Isaiah 55(NIV)

Invitation to the Thirsty

(1)"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
-
(2) Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
-
life is meaningless... only He can satisfy, Love....

-

oh well...

-

Open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Dance over me, Sing all around

Amazed

-
Verse 1:
You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound
-
Chorus:
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me
-
Verse 2:
You paint the morning sky
With miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand
-
Bridge:
How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me

---

an amazingly simple song

-

and an image , that brings to mind so much, of how time has flied and gone...

-

ah well...

Procrastinate

heh

-

I dunno why I always end up doing that 

-

WL

-

to Do or not to do finish

-

ideas in my head

-

essay already is there

just need to do it

-

but too tired lah....

tmr recess maybe

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500/1500 words

-

bleah

I hate work

-

Isaiah 55

A timely reminder:
-
Isaiah 55(NIV)

Invitation to the Thirsty

(1)"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
-
(2) Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
-
(3) Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
-
(4) See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
-
(5) Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
-
(6) Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
-
(7) Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
-
(8) "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
-
(9) "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
-
(10) As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
-
(11) so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
-
(12) You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
-
(13) Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."
-

---

I remember

after the 'yoga' which i declined Karen Dorton:

"why not , you can discover yourself"

-

I saw this

the living waters bible,

flipped open to Issaiah 55.

-

i dunno what some words mean

esp when I realise I've been keeping tabs on ppls msn nicks too much, a really handy feature of msgpluslive

-

-

yet many a time

I remind myself, msn PMs dont mean a thing, I still remember a number of convos with Petrina before I decided to put behind the earlier stuff, heh, good advice nonetheless.

-

oh well

Weird Dreams

well

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I won't do a Kenneth and recall every single part of it

-

but well... excerpts for the sake of recalling it

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cast: all the choir BB primers ppl(which is only 3 other people) 

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Ding mysteriously transferred to my Chem class for some weird reason, and we just left the Lab

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"I know what this means"... lol

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and Eve and Feli suddenly become best of friends for some strange reason

-

and some random incident with a non existent fire hose next to the circular classrooms.

(don't worry I didn't murder eve with it, I'm not so sadistic or vengeful...)

---

ah well

-

at least I don't get ... ... ... nightmares anymore

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rarrr...

-

---

heh

-

dreams are supposedly what happens to be at the back of one's mind...

-

and possibly what one might hope for...

-

but, they're still dreams in the end...

-

---

anyway

'yesterday' aka Wednesday, was the slackest school day for me this whole year

=.=

the idea of attending just 1 lesson in school only, and attending choir seems quite  a fun concept

-

Esp if it's one's favourite lesson, haha I love Bio.

-

NS medical check up

-

from drawing 4-5 vials of my blood(my arm still feels cramped after the NS guy poked my arm)

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to other stupid random things

-

PES D

-

but that simply means to be determined

-

hopefully its a Pes C

-

wait for 1 month lor...

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and some random IQ test

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total waste of time

-

although it was amusing to hear the RJC guy swear

"oh F*** , I forgot my differentiation"

-

the duration was about 1 hour, as compared to the 4-5 hours stated to the letter

-

walked to church after that, got changed

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after which went to Habourfront Vivo for an early lunch, and walked around a bit

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was really empty

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Compared to what i was used to on Sundays.

-

wanted to buy Paddy Clarke from Page One, no $$$

poo

-

went back to school, slacked in library until about 2

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bio class

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choir(in which I ended up getting chased out of the CPA for voicing my reservations about yoga)

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and Stuart wasn't around

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which means the tenors were in a little trouble

-

i wonder

-

how did I end up being one of the anchor singers,along with SongY

-

and after SongY left... lol

only me

-

---

ah well

-

its stupid right...

the more one tries not to think about stuff

the more likely it'll pop up in unexpected places

-

haiz

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a Labour day to labour on my WL

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oh well

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good think I'm not dreaming about Hedda Gabler and Bernarda Alba. the same way i ended up dreaming about exams during Os...

Vista owns?

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lol that's funny

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the comments are better

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apparently people blindly read the title without watching the vid

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ah well

random post

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after yet another BAD experience with windows... darn virus...

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luckily my sis is overseas

-

---

DIY

or else?

-

oh well

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why... ...

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Everything

Everything - Tim Hughes

Verse 1 :

God in my living

There in my breathing

God in my waking

God in my sleeping

-

God in my resting

There in my working

God in my thinking

God in my speaking

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Chorus:

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

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Verse 2:

God in my hoping

There in my dreaming

God in my watching

God in my waiting

-

God in my laughing

There in my weeping

God in my hurting

God in my healing

-

Bridge:

Christ in me

Christ in me

Christ in me the hope of glory

You are everything

-

Christ in me

Christ in me

Christ in me the hope of glory

Be my everything

*note it seems that off an on the video becomes "not available" , try reloading until it works

bleah

Paul Washer on R/S

saw this on (Mr) Nicholas Chen's blog

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ah well

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attraction to 'personality'... while I've hated sensuality, yet it seems...  

-

what is virtue? biblical beauty?

-

building up... 

the walk with God

-

it seems... 

but yet...

-

it doesn't mean...

i can go ahead...

and flaunt a basic rule... if it was even possible anyway...

-

just because...

i think in that way...

-

and from experience

emotions can cloud reasoning

and lead one astray

-

guard ones heart

-

There is a time and place for everything...

-

---

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and it seems that its time for me to do my World Lit

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bleah

-

i dont know

-

I dont want to think...

the joy and the pain...

you know

-

somethings give joy..

others give pain

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but above all

-

He's in control

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surrendering all to Him

-

---

I Offer My Life - Don Moen

Verse 1:

All that I am, all that I have 

I lay them down before You O Lord 

All my regrets, all my acclaim 

The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours 

-

Chorus: 

Lord I offer my life to You 

Everything I've been through 

Use it for Your glory 

Lord I offer my days to You 

Lifting my praise to You 

As a pleasing sacrifice 

Lord I offer You my life 

-

Verse 2:

Things in the past, things yet unseen 

Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true 

All of my hopes, all of my plans 

My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

-

---

I wonder

-

apologia ...

adoratio ... 

quapropter...

-

yet 

-

ah well 

it doesn't matter does it?

painful or not it maybe...

-

love God wholeheartedly

-

Way tired of Knowing

This post shall be devoted to utter RANDOMNESS

-

ah well

EE is dead

ToK will die tmr 

YAY

-

---

emotions AFFECT THE WAY WE KNOW

ktnksbye

-

PRECONCEIVED IDEAS come from emotions

-

hence the old joke:

"eh that girl looked at me , I think she likes me"

(when the guy actually likes the girl, and the girl is just behaving her normal self)

-

oh course references to the RoD presentation done by Tim, Wesley, Cao, Asher &  YJ)

" oh my math teacher gave me star... I think she likes me"

" oh my mum washed my clothes... I think she likes me"

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Rarr the  essay IS DONE

1596 words

-

its almost over

-

---

now for

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CASEETOKIA

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CAS LOGGING

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Irritating Assignments

or internal assessments 

---

ah well

need to work on EVERYTHING ELSE

-

oh well

I need to destress too

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S***w Perception

S***w Reasoning

S***w Language

EMOTIONS OWNS YOUR MUM

---

lol

I'm starting to sound psychopathic

ah well

lapses in sanity occur

when one has indulged in thinking too much

-

empty your mind of everything....

let the essence flow...

-

lol 

- 

yoga is rubbish...

-

Song of joy...

http://5implyworship.blogspot.com/search?q=%27i+wish%22

It suddenly occurred to me that the number of times the phrase "I wish" appears on my blog is ridiculous

-

oh well

back to choir

-

skipping the yoga thingy... while most people says its okay, i say it 'might' be okay , but I'll rather be safe than sorry

-

Ding...

-

---

and a nice jazzy a cappella arrangement to learn..

-

The Way You Look Tonight

-

some day...

when I'm awfully low...

when the world is cold...

I will feel a glow...

just thinking of you...

and the way you look tonight...

-

but you're lovely...

with your smile so warm...

and your cheeks so soft...

there is nothing for me but to love... you...

just the way you look tonight

-

with each word...

your tenderness grows...

tearing my fear...apart...

and that laugh....

that wrinkles your nose...

touches my foolish heart...

-

you're lovely...

never never change...

keep that breathless charm...

won't you please arrange it...

'cause I love... you...

just the way you look... tonight...

-

---

FireAC this morning

something new

something refreshing

-

blessed be Your name

-

in whatever circumstance

-

Blessed be Your name

-

cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day...

life and debt

RoD over,....

but I shall not bother to post a post, although BB is something dear to me, yet whatever I would like to have said can be found in the email I sent... and perhaps some of these stuff are best kept to the small group... ... ...

-

---

been exceedingly tired out and depressed/sian lately, due to a large influx of datelines...

-

positive feedback:

stimulus causes feedback that results in an increase in stimulus

=.=

seems to work that way

stimulus is the homework

homework-> stress

stress-> don't want to do homework

don't want to do homework-> more homework...

-

ah well

FireAC:

Your Name

-

... Lord give us strength to live for You, and glorify Your Name... 

worship/prayer

---

Biology class today:

Issue of cancer:

"no point getting it treated, because going to die anyway... might as well spend the money enjoy yourself before you die" (Mdm Yong)

"but aren't there cases of healing...?"(Amanda)

-

i dunno why

but somehow

yeah...

---

I remember a prayer I used to utter every night in primary 6, was just a  new believer then, had no idea what Qt meant or being a christian was then...

-

"Heavenly Father:

thank you for this day you've given me

I pray you make papa well again, and I pray that you'll help me not to get into trouble in school and do well in my PSLE

and I also pray that I'll grow to know You more

in Jesus Name I Pray

Amen"

-

I guess the last part of that prayer was answered eventually...

but I remember... i didnt know what to pray after the February of 2003, PSLE over, and oh well i remember the church , the pallor, the coffin, the whiteness, the blackness

-

and one thing they told me, he's gone to a better place...

-

---

so maybe

a lot of times

life isn't exactly the best thing isn't it

when there is so much more than just it, more after it

-

which is why

i never understood the concept of 

"life is short, treasure it"

maybe a better understanding would be

"life is short, make the most of it"

-

---

ah shucks

-

"are you parents fetching you"

"my mum is fetching me"

-

that's so common...

-

oh well

if only:

the memories would go

and leave me cold

and let me go

away from ...

-

boo....

210

the strangest things happen

-

maybe.. I've been better these 2 day, less emo, more bubbly, although...

-

but i wonder if, for particular reasons?

-

or its just a matter of the rain clouds clearing up a bit, a little sunshine in, a little smiles here and there

-

and laughing at the tests of life, laughing at Tim...

-

in a sense... some stuff , the more you think and brood over it, the more painful it becomes

-

I guess, we need to just remember the old times as good times that God provided, and he took away... 

we thank God for those times

we remember those times not with regret or sadness because of the lost, but as good times

-

and life just goes on

-

its fairly simple, Trust that God is in control

-

---

post number 210

-

class of 2.10 dan (2004)

-

CT: Wong Ping Loong

-

ah well

haha

those were tough times, funny times, and well...

-

but they still remain with me, the good, the bad, the ugly

-

but God is Good all the time =)

-

no greater love

I still wish...

but nmind ...

-

looking through the pictures with Tim...

-

it sounded weird and surreal

and i wonder why...

-

some things need to be waited out

-

but maybe not in that sense

more like God will provide in His time

-

finding joy... in Him, not from anyone else

-

---

Somethings i see around me, it hurts like a sword cutting deep into my heart. 

I don't show it, I simply don't want to, after all, it is none of my business.

-

maybe I'm just too sensitive

-

found myself singing this as I went up alone to chapel after FireAC...

-

At the Cross

-

Oh Lord You searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me

-

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

-

At the Cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

-

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

-

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know You love me

-

At the Cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

-

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

-

You tore the veil

You made a way

When you said that it is done

-

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

-

---

it is a very emotional song

-

yet beyond the emotions, it represents something, the extravagant love of God.

-

Psalm 139:1-12

-

¹ O LORD, You have searched me 

and You know me.

-

² You know when I sit and when I rise; 

You perceive my thoughts from afar.

-

³ You discern my going out and my lying down; 

You are familiar with all my ways.

-

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue 

You know it completely, O LORD.

-

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before; 

You have laid your hand upon me.

-

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

too lofty for me to attain.

-

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit? 

Where can I flee from Your presence?

-

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, You are there; 

if I make my bed in Sheol You are there.

-

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

-

¹⁰ even there Your hand will guide me, 

Your right hand will hold me fast.

-

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me 

and the light become night around me,"

-

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to You; 

the night will shine like the day, 

for darkness is as light to You.

memories

there was a time...

-

trying to force feed Jeremy with vinegar+ Tabasco/curry sauce

Choir Seniors' Dinner, breeks @ AMK

Nov 2005

-

yeah...

and we sang a song together

Alvar, Kevin, Han An, Martin, Shaun, Stuart, Song Yeong, Bryan, Ding

-

Lol Ding and I still were singing alto then

-

how about love..... measuring love

Seasons of love....

-

haha

-

and Martin and Han An and Shaun doing all the diva high pitched madness

---

was reading ppl's blogs anyway... as usual

-

lol

EMIL DO YOUR WORK

STOP BEING SO MELANCHOLIC AND NOSTALGIC

AND WASTING TIME BLOGGING

-

world lit overdue

-

I think I'm going to be lit up and burnt alive by Mrs Maria Nathan tmr

(disclaimer: Mrs Nathan generally is a nice teacher)¹ 

-

Argh

I really don't know how to do world lit

-

at least IOP we had example/practice presentations to get a better feel of how to do it

-

boo

-

I hate doing a subject which I've not done for 2 years

-

I need help

argh

-

Edit:

1. Added as I didn't want a repeat of the NS incident

Costs

Somehow i just want to write about 2 things

1. The whole issue of relationships 

or BGR

2. The cost of love

 

Maybe i shouldn't harp on so much about number 1, but i guess, let me make my observations

-

1. Boy meets girl (or girl meets boy in some cases)

usually very much the case, sometimes or another, it might be possible that, be it mutual or single directional ( Jesus-way as Tim once put it, aka "one way"), affections arise. I guess its nothing really wrong, when little emotions get invested, it does not tie so much, and eventually  nothing happens, unless number 2 happens

 -

2. Emotional investments

Theresa once shared this analogy, the idea of us having one pure bottle of mono-coloured sand. and she likened the emotional investments as pouring sand into another persons bottle.

The problem with so many people is this, they jump right in, start pouring sand into each others bottles, and realise they don't like each after all, and try to take back as much of their sand as possible. The problem of that is that once invested, you cannot take back totally, and it hurts, because you left a precious piece of oneself, in someone else's heart, you cannot take it back, the same way once you mix salt and sugar together, its kinda impossible to separate them. (whatever to the science geeks who decide melt the mixture and do some random crap about different melting points, that's beside the point).

-

Ah well, i wish that "the special one" myth was true. Alas, truth be told, there absolutely no biblical basis to that. Its only by God's grace do we find "the right one" and not screw up  in that sense.

-

it doesn't make sense to fall into the trap of number 2, so many times, i seen it all around, people rushing madly from one failed relationship to another...

-

ah well wish I could... I don't want to hurt myself either

someday we'll find it... in His time

-

---

and the cost of love, love is not cheap.

we cannot say we love something or someone unless it costs us something.

-

Love cost God the life of His Son

-

we say we love God, but we don't love God by singing songs, wearing christian T-shirts, attending christian events, what does it cost us?

-

a life surrendered to God, 

-

"love God wholeheartedly"

hope once again

Life is a road that I wanna keep going

Love is river that I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road now and forever

A wonderful journey

---

A song, from a movie i used to love so well as a younger child

-

I said life was driven by 2 things

hope

and passion

-

yet Tim corrected me

life is driven by love, passion comes from love

-

---

It doesn't matter if I love/like you in that way or not

-

I know God loves you, and loves you dearly, you are a beloved child of God

-

Agape

-

I know God knows what's best

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to rest in that peace and assurance

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---

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I saw someone's msn pm:

"My sheep hear My voice"

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I still remember that, what significance I once thought it meant for me

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but no matter what, assurance to know God is always there to guide us

Brokenness

In so many things, even so...

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i realise

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life really isn't fun... its plain stressful, painful, and sometimes... meaningless

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I wrote how a christian life isn't the easiest life to live... yes it true... but...

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i guess...

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in regard to stuff

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I know , a lot of things don't work the way i would want them to work sometimes

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I know, the ministry of worship through music. we can make the best music in the world, we can be the best "worship leaders" in the eyes of the people around us

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but we don't know how to worship God in spirit and in truth, the way He Desires it to be

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worship through spirit...

not the  soul, the emotions.

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worship in truth, no facades, nothing but honesty

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I don't know about tomorrow

I don't know about how different people get called into the places they are

when life, indeed is nothing but a whisper and breath, here this moment and gone the next

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i dunno,

somethings hurt me more than they should

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but is it wrong?

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i know... i been through it before

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ah well

i remember asking the question in a previous post, encrypted in a hidden font :

"do you know? and if you know do you care?"

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some how I don't think I want to know the answer for this case

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and I don't need to anyway...