Fruit

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
(Galatians 5:16-26)
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________________________
Reading this passage again, after a night of tears, of wrestling with God, of everything I heard from Marc, from sitting opposite Trevose at a park... from fighting with myself while watching buses after buses pass me by
-
this passage frightens me...
-
how many times do ‘christians’, my friends, myself,

• engage in malice, hatred... ?


• have selfish ambitions for our own gain?


• put things before God, whether it is our comfort, our pleasure, our processions, our relationships, which constitute idolatry?


• indulge in drunkenness and wild parties?

-

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if we do , even just a bit, we cannot inherit the life that God has promised us, we cannot meet him because we are not holy... and anything which isn’t holy cannot stand before the presence of God
-
if we do, we’re no better than the ‘assistant cell group leader’ of a liberal church movement, whom I heard a certain friend of mine talk about with regard to his promiscuous behaviour...
-

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________________________
Sin is sin...
-
there is no such thing as a lesser sin or greater sin... God hates sin, there isn’t a difference between big or small...
-

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________________________
I have heard of people who tell me about how everything is fine, they justify sin by making less of it, by saying its about drawing the line,
-
but if we really are saved, if we have Christ in us as the ruler over our lives...
-
we would have ‘crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires’
-
and the question no longer becomes about ‘where to draw the line, and how to go as close to it as possible with stepping over’
-
but about whether we glorify God in our actions... or dishonour his name

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________________________
this really is a wake up call for me...
to pray
ask God for forgiveness
ask God to give grace
-
and ask that God will restore all of us who have fallen into the trap of a worldly lifestyle

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________________________
-
somehow I’ve been putting certain things in my life above my walk with God
-
its not about compromising values to fit in,
-
not about trying to do everything to be appreciated and to be able to enjoy the company of a certain friend
-
sigh... I need forgiveness... I’m so sorry...

Thoughts of religious harmony

Following the incident regarding Ps Rony Tan’s interview with the buddhist converts - and the subsequent controversy, media blow up and apology, I have a few thoughts
-
Firstly respect is important, for obvious reasons. The Bible did tell us to set a good testimony for the gentiles to see... hence I guess posting sensitive clips on the web(a public domain where many other ppl not of the faith can see) is not a wise idea.
-
Secondly , and also something I believe strongly , ‘Religious harmony’ and true Christianity is NOT compatible. I feel rather disappointed with Ps Rony having to bend under pressure and promote our government’s agenda.
-
Religious tolerance is not an issue, Christians can live among other non-Christians without riots and stuff. We can still display our beliefs without mocking others.
-
However the idea of religious harmony, where everyone starts accepting each other beliefs (i.e. Your God is okay for me, my God is okay also, all the same God) is total heresy.
Inter-religious events that the government promotes should not be supported.
We cannot accept the beliefs of other religions and so called ‘respect’ them because we know in our hearts that they are all false religions. We ourselves know that Jesus is the only true way to God, and it is our responsibility to preach the gospel to as many as possible so as to bring more into His Kingdom. We will fail in our duty as Christians if we decide to tell everyone all religions lead to the same God, same values etc.
-
We are not Buddhists who believe in truth that is pragmatic and subjective (e.g. all that matters regardless of which way we go, whatever god we follow, as long as I can break out of karma and attain enlightenment thats all the matter)
-
I’m not downplaying the beliefs of others, but I’m merely pointing out the differences.
-
Christianity, Judaism and Islam however is different because each of these 3 believe in empirical objective truth that has only one way. We believe that there is only one true God and all other gods are false. Christianity believes there is only one true way to heaven, and that is through repentance, and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
-
Christianity by itself is meant to be hateful to the world. The Gospel is noted to be a stumbling block and foolishness (1 Cor 1:23), Jesus said that he has not come to bring peace but a sword (Matt 10:24).
-
Christians in the past have been persecuted by the authorities for their faith. Many will quote Romans 13 to me with regard to submitting to authorities. This however does not mean with submit our faith and moral beliefs as dictated by authorities. We believe that while submitting to authorities include serving NS, obeying the law of the country etc., it definitely does not include moral or faith based issues. For instance we do not support the government’s agenda of promoting the IR casino. Hence we cannot also support the Government’s ‘religious harmony’ issue blindly without considering it’s terms.
-
These are my thoughts so far. I have been as frank as I can be, while trying to be sensitive, and sincerely hope no one gets offended.

snippets of many thoughts of Christmas

recently I’ve not been posting much here

-

well I could say it for a number of reasons. The main on being that I cant do justice to my thoughts in the form of a blog

-

and the second is that I cant say everything I would want to say here

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nevertheless

-

on Christmas eve

-

again I pose this question

-

why do people only want to celebrate Xmas - leave Christ out of the picture

substitute the divine glory and wonder, and profound mystery of Christ

-

for the cheap, worthless myth of ‘Santa Claus’

We know Santa Claus is a nice figure, a supposed old man who spreads cheer and gladness and love during Christmas

-

But isn’t Christ so much better, and so much more real?

Christ is the expression of God’s incomparable, incomprehensible love.

-

Christ is the greatest Gift from God to mankind.

No number of santa presents or anything could have been greater as God’s gift to save the world from the reality of sin and hell. To make a way to heaven through the Gift of His son

-

Yet we see the gospel, the good news of Christ being substituted for a mere myth. Or simply just the less important things like shopping, trees, parties...

-

Like the expression of casting pearls to swine. We present the greatest story and gift to mankind, yet men, in their blind depraved state cannot understand , and simply fling Christ out of the window.

“Leave religion out of it” says man,

“Christ is irrelevant to Xmas of today. We just want to hear the ‘good stuff’, we want Santa, gifts, presents, shopping, partying, merrymaking, fun”

“but we don’t want Christ”

-

hence my utter disappointment with the whole 3AMB Christmas event, in which i was involved as the organising commitee.

-

I would have gladly forfeited any Off-in-lieu, even to the extend of sigining extras...

if only Christmas could be celebrated the way it was meant to be celebrated,

if only people heard and knew about how special Christ was to Christmas...

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its even the same with easter

-

I remember during one of the dry run rehearsals, the emcee who did an intro about the 32FMD skit

-

“Now we would like to invite 32FMD up to stage, who will be giving us the topic of ‘Easter’”

“bunny come on stage, bunny come off stage, end of skit”

-

we deny Christ for yet another myth

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Another thing I guess is that this year I wont be giving specific presents/cards to people

-

for the very reason that I cant give one to people I would really want to give to because they’re special to me

-

sigh, I still miss you a lot...

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and I guess finally I would like to do a bit of promotion for an upcoming event I’ll be involved in:

Undignified 2010 - a Worship event

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http://www.undignifiedasia.com/

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=186572712670

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWGLcPHIJM&feature=autofb

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bitter, sweet, sorrow, joy

we see that ever so evident in the Christian walk
-
Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
(2 Cor 5:1-5)
-

---

we have hope and rejoice because of what He has done for us, and we know we have hope for eternity, a heavenly dwelling which cannot be destroyed
-
but we suffer while down here on earth, we do not know what tomorrow brings, be it poverty, loneliness, burdens, separations
-

---

somehow this song - even while sung in mandarin today at Marc’s grandfather’s wake
-
nearly brought tears to me
-
I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.
-

---

we look to eternity, the tomorrow we cannot see
-
but we know our lives are held in His hand, His plans
-

---

so with regard to everything
be in university studies (NO CHARLES, I AM SO NOT DOING ACCOUNTANCY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, ACCOUNTANCY IS NOT COOL)
or in relationships
in anything else in the future, career, God’s calling
-
I know He knows best
-
I guess thats all I need to know
even as I know God has called me to impact the world I live in
-
even as it begins small, with me..

'emil lenses'

do I look through things in a limited perspective
-
through my ‘emil lenses’ so to speak
-
not the bigger picture
-

---

-------------------
but in the end
aren’t we supposed to live our lives in the light of God
-
see things in the way God sees them
open our eyes to see what God wants for us
-
live a life grounded by faith in the Word of God
and live out a life which shows that
-

---

-------------------
people say they tell me these things
-
for my own good
for the good of the people under my sphere of influence
-
and they’re perfect in every way, more worthy of being part of their ministries
-
at least while compared to me
who has been in the lowest of places
been the worse of sinners and disgraced the name of God
-
‘but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more’
-
its by the very fact
when we say God makes foolish the wisdom of the wise
-
we judge things from this perspective
-

---

-------------------
-
So by saying I shouldn’t be in this ministry
are they saying it from their lens?
or the lens that God has given them, (wise christian council???)?
-
because if they say so
they’re saying God made a wrong choice
in letting me be here
-
So who am I to believe?

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But still
we should always remember this in the ministries God puts us in:
-
(Philippians 2:1-11)
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,

then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

---

Sand Castles

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
Matthew 7:24-27
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---

I was reminded of a Switchfoot song, ‘Gone’
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Life is more than money, time was never runny.
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills.
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
-
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?

---

what we build our lives on is important...
-
if we based our lives on now, on worldly wealth and riches, of careers
or worldly relationships, on acceptance
even of family
-
these things don’t count towards eternity...
‘the 2 biggest things a christian faces
one is persecution
the other is seduction by the world... christians normally can face the former, but many fall with the latter ’
(Charles)
-
we end up losing our first love for God
over something else much less significant
-
compared to basing our lives upon eternity
and living each day for Him
-
so we can stand together in the end of time and worship Him
and there is nothing that can compare to the joy that comes from that
-
where God..
...will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
(Rev 21:3-4)
-
we do know that like in the parable
where the guy builds his house on the ‘ROCK’
in which he has to work very hard to chisel away at the rocks to lay his foundation
-
likewise leading a life based to following Jesus and His gospel is not easy
-
compared to the guys who can easily construct his house on sand,
and like how after the tsunami, these houses get washed away
-
hence the former is a better choice, better than something temporal

---

many times I build my life upon many insignificant things
-
it was once upon computer games
upon getting the highest score
upon winning every game
and ‘pwning’ every opponent to get the ‘holy sh*t BEYONG GODLIKE’ kill streak
-
after that it was upon being accepted by a girl whom I really loved a lot
and even to base my life upon doing things to make her happy and comfortable
at the expense of everything else
-
but I come to realise that after all
everything will pass on in the end
-
but God remains faithful...
and He’s the one I should base my life upon
not anything else
-

Foolishness to the world

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,
"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

(1 Cor 1:18-25)
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if you look at the way we talk about Christ
-
you realise this... to people who don’t see it comes across as mere folly
-
why do we preach an empty tomb, a innocent man convicted who was hung and who died
when to others it just seems like a mere story that happened long ago...
-
why do we tell about a God who apparently can listen to us, can comfort us, that is so personal to us
yet it might seem like the random illusions cast by children with imaginary friends or schizophrenic mental patients
-
why do we tell about assurance of salvation, of hope and future
when to others it merely seems like a form of escapism from the harsh reality of this world
-

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this is what God means to me
-
an all powerful, righteous and awe-some God
the God who holds the universe in the mere width of His palm
who is beyond time, beyond space
beyond all the limitations of the physical world
-
yet who created order and the physical universe
and made the laws of physics that govern this world
a God of order
-
yet a God who cares so much for each individual
that the very mere detail like the number of strands of hair each person has is numbered
-

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this is what the Cross means
it shows me to what length God loves us
-
I know that one way a person demonstrates Love
Love is more than just gifts
more than just words
but Love demands presence and touch
-
so God came down as Jesus on the Cross
a perfect gift which was so perfect it could carry all the sins of the world
yet a gift that cost so dearly, it demanded so much
-

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and this is what the resurrection means to me
it shows me that God can do all things
it shows me how God keeps his promises
it shows me how God has won victory over the price of sin - death
-
and you cannot simply say it was just an empty tomb when hundreds have seen Jesus alive after He was buried

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this is what Christianity means to me
its not a set of rituals one follows to gain nirvana or eternal life
its about experiencing God in a way that cant be described
-
its not a fashion accessory that is tagged on as another separate part of life
but something that demands everything in life to be consumed with
-
and I quote CS lewis:
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
-

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to many, its just another religion, another foolish religion
or worse, a cult of weirdos and strange delusional people
-
even as I was interrogated today,
as a form of ‘entertainment’
-
but to me, it means everything

A true heart

Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body?
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean’.“
(Matthew 15:17-20)

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reflecting upon this short passage for the bible one thing thing makes me wonder
-
is it enough for us to simply hold fast to not speaking vulgarities, not saying lewd jokes, not doing acts of immorality
-
but here is the scenario I’m placed in...
I hold fast to the ideas of not swearing, not cracking lewd jokes, and not participating in orgy fests of peering over semi-porn magazines/Real porn
-
but that doesn’t mean my mind does not get corrupted by such influences in army
pretty soon I find myself thinking sinful thoughts, swearing in my head whenever I’m annoyed or irritated...
and it occasionally sometimes comes out of my heart into the mouth... except I mince it up
-
F*ck - AFFF
KNN- kana sai
LJ - cock
CB - cheeese
-
and I also know I’m not immune from thinking lustful thoughts and stuff....
while being friends with a number of girls helps a lot that I respect them enough to not want to think about it
but it seems to be repressed at one side just waiting to jump at me

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Jesus said it was not enough to simply do the outward actions and deeds
-
but like what He said:
”Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.“
(Matt 23:25-28)
-
But being a Christians starts from the inside first, being transformed into His likeness from the inside-out
-
so no matter what culture we get exposed to
it is important to learn to guard our hearts and minds and not become influenced, not just in our actions but in our hearts too

Counter-culture

deciding to reflect upon my army experience so far...
-
after talking fair bit about how we get exposed to a culture we don’t feel comfortable in and stuff like that
-
in a sense of being placed in a palce of godless culture

---

I remember day one.... in the bunks of Leopard coy of BMTC sch 2
-
while we introduced ourselves to each other... largely JC students of different backgrounds
we still retained the sense of identity as such... JC students, polite conversations
-
till we got introduced to 3SG LKY (no it’s not Lee Kuan Yew, leopard people would know)
and the warren officers
-
very soon we realised what army culture was about
a culture opposed to the very moral values the christian faith believes in
-
I need not elaborate about the numerous vulgarities and lewd jokes, references, and posters splattered around the Plt office
but pretty soon, most of us began to lose out identity as polite JC students
and became assimilated into the whole culture of everything.
-
which brings us back to an important point I guess
-
As christians, we are told to be salt and light of the earth... (matt 5:13-16)
and we cannot hide our light (stand aside and try to blend in)
or lose out saltiness (assimilate into worldly culture)
-
which is the who danger of many of us immersed in various places with cultures opposed to our values
we end up sacrificing our values for the sake of gaining acceptance
and end up being too comfortable in a godless culture
-
in the same way Lot was comfortable in the culture of the Sodomites and choose to live among them
-

---

but then again it doesn’t mean we end up isolating ourselves from the rest... a mistake I made over the past 2 months while in Jurong camp.
-
it is possible, as I learnt in sembawang
and after Sean spoke to me about it
to be able to work with and even create friendships with people even in a godless culture, without sacrificing our own moral values
-
simply as Jesus put it
‘In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven’
-
an idea of putting in your best in everything
showing a good testimony, so that we may make a difference in a different culture.
-
an idea of being for people when they need it
just like how Jesus would reach out to a world of sin and depravity
-

Strange how a conversation can go....

force-feeding the same old concepts into people isn’t going to work
-
everyone knows we should not sin
-
yet we still do... we do what we do not want to do...
-
because no matter how hard we try,
human efforts will not work... we still stumble and fall
only God can change our hearts, and give us the strength and His spirit to overcome
-

---

-
the important thing is, in every decision, is to always point it towards Jesus
-
yeah, but problem is, so many times we’re scared to do that,
esp. when we already know He’s most likely going to say something we might not like...
-
but God calls us to surrender, even when its hard
after all Jesus said
“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
-

---

we like to fit God into our hopes, our plans...
we cheapen God who measures the universe with the span of His hand
into a mere genie in a bottle...
-
Asking is not wrong
but we must always have the attitude of Jesus when he prayed in Gethsemane:
“If its possible, take this cup from me... yet not my will, but Your will be done” (Matthew 26:39)
-

sigh

i missed enrolment parade... for the first time in 6 years
-
and I do miss working with you’ll...

---

even though one camp and 2 or 3 weeks isn’t a lot
but i guess, its what one makes of it that counts...
-
i made much of it, for a while
-
so be it I guess...
-

---

sigh , life is like some sort of waiting game
-
waiting for something that maybe never come to pass
-
waiting for replies
-
waiting again...

---

credibility isn’t everything
-
In Christian ministry,
isn’t calling, isn’t commitment more important?
-
sigh...

the blame game

pondering over the issue of circumstances
-
I was discussing with Tim before:
how it is possible that,
God opens doors, only to slam it into one’s face immediately when you’re just about to go through the door?
-
after all, God is never a sadist
or a kill-joy for that matter
-

---

so in circumstances like this
who can we blame?
-
Somehow, one of the biggest assumptions one can make is this:

when I’m blessed, God is at work
whenever trouble comes, its Satan’s fault

-
somehow you cant make this assumption
that God only gives good things
-
Satan was never an antithesis of God, he cannot be viewed in an equal light to God
-
God is sovereign over every circumstance, all things come from Him, not just good things
-
and we cannot simply say that Satan is responsible for every bad thing that happens.
-
because God has to give Satan the authority before he can even do anything to us... as seen in Job 1-2

---

we could always say, God is admonishing and disciplining us for mistakes, the blame lies with us
-
but somehow its important, that is not always the case... Job never did anything wrong before he was inflicted
-
or it could just be, God is testing us, so that we may grow more...
-
that God, is to blame...

---

-
somehow, when that happened
I questioned my intentions again
-
was it really, as Charles suggested, some subtle thought of being able to be with a particular person?
-
I highly doubt it... although after that time, i was rather fed up and frustrated,
-
it was really for the right reasons? I hoped at least. for the sake of them, for the sake of Christ
-
and there also the same excuse,
I quote mr Ng:
“good intentions vs God excellent plan”
-
the same old excuse whenever anything goes wrong,
But its never a reason to give up something worth fighting for.
just because of a few obstacles, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t want a person to do something,
-
but either way, I’ll wait and see...
and pray more...
-
and somehow, everything is so hypocritical
since you all said before
“God equips the called, not vice versa”
-

What leads you on

is it God that leads a believer on?
-
but then again, how certain are we that the God that we know really is God...
-
or is it just a mess of human emotions? or logic?
-

---

the problem with youth culture
-
is that more of than not, the perception of God has become a mere emotional figure
-
rather then a real God, who is so much more then this
-

---

so tell me
-
if being in a particular circumstance brings forth particular emotions and thoughts
am I to say that i should simply follow these thoughts and emotions?
-
i highly doubt it...

---

or logic - another scary part
-
while God does give each person the ability of a sound mind
-
yet the “foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of man”(1 Cor 1:25)
-
We all know very well, that many a time in biblical history, God has asked his followers to do something ridiculously absurd.
-
Like buying a field when you know that your land is about to be conquered by the Babylonians(Jeremiah 32)
-
Like marrying a loose woman you know for sure is going to cheat on you (Hosea)
-

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so this whole problem is, how can we discern the will of God
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the order is important...
1. Prayer
2. Word
3. Inner peace
4. Godly Counsel
5. Circumstances
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the order is important... look what happens if we screw it up:
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Example:
Circumstance - person A likes B
Godly Counsel - Friends think B is good, more often than not they don’t really say much
Inner Peace - since friends - emotions, feel good about it _ ????
Word - distortion
Prayer - distortion
-

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and in everything we know, God has a timing, and a purpose
-
I guess, we need to learn to wait too...
-

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sigh...
I dunno why no matter how I try to convince myself
I still feel like this...
-
but even so.... as circumstances would dictate otherwise...
-
which direction should i go...

Low...

that’s one more to pray for =(
-

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I remember, more than a year ago
-
“am I that detestable?”
-
“I want to do with you...”
“would be quite cool...”(JP)
-
I was quite freaked out by that incident...
and I hardly talked after that.
-
but now... after what I heard from CC...
sighz... what happened?
-
what can take away the knowledge of Christ from a believer?
-

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and again.. looking through the last time... a few months back
before the “airport” got blockaded and you were cut off
we were talking about choir, about who wasn’t saved
-
I mentioned JS...
-
I know I’ve been too sticky perhaps
sorry... I wish we could talk again...

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I’m worried now
when the fire and passion of a believer gets snuffed out
when disillusion, guilt and tests take their toll
-
will he/she fall away...
when you no longer can say with the same optimism:
“I know I’ll see you in heaven, even if we never meet again”
-
I need to give a call... someday or another...

unfailing love...

remember, you’re not allowed to discuss the contents of the paper for the next 24 hours...
-
therefore... i shall keep mum about math...

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its at times like these....
when I am constantly reminded
-
of a God, who so loved the world
not for what good we were worth
but all for love...
-
that He chose to became man
and died for us
that we may know Him
-
the supreme sacrifice...
yet there are so many
who reject this gift of love
-
I wonder... how does God feel at such blatant unrequitment of love...
-

---

I learnt that
Love is never without choice
and
Love is never without sacrifice or commitment.
-
Godly love in the bible is said to be agape... needless to say there is the famous chapter 13 of the 1st Epistle to the Corinthians, which gives us a lengthy description of what love is
-
Love is patient
Love is kind
it is not self seeking...
-

---

I learnt that
even the most God-fearing person
if you approach for Godly counsel
without first asking of God...
-
will at most give good advice... not discern God’s will for you.
unless he prays with you, and is inspired by the Holy Spirit
because, to discern God’s will, there is a need to “seek, and you will find,”(Matt 7:7)(Deut 4:29)
-

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with regard to green light
many a time
God calls those who are willing to respond
-
hence
many a time, He actually gives us a choice...
if we truly desire to serve Him in a particular ministry
and He does not close doors or clearly show a red light(as in the case of David in 2 Sam ) in a sense
-
Go in faith and trust that He will take care...

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I made a choice, that was not done purely out of rashness or emotions
-
although many a time I feel rather like a fool for sacrificing and giving so much of myself to it
-
and many a times I feel disappointed and hurt...
-
but since... this is where God wants to lead me, for now
whether or not it turns out the way I would want it to be
-
I will go in faith and trust...

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on a afterthought
it seems that while stubbornness and determination actually mean almost the same thing(if you exclude the connotations)
-
while determination gets you somewhere
stubbornness gets you nowhere
-
lets hope I know what I’m doing...
-

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anyway today I ate the first ever bowl of ban mian in my life (lol)
-
normally I’ll stick to you mian, but it doesn’t matter anyway haha...
not like i was very hungry, and I really didn’t know what to eat at first...

Apocrypha

My child, when you come to serve the Lord,
prepare yourself for testing.
Set your heart right and be steadfast,
and do not be impetuous in time of calamity.
Cling to him and do not depart,
so that your last days may be prosperous.
Accept whatever befalls you,
and in times of humiliation be patient.
For gold is tested in the fire,
and those found acceptable, in the furnace of humiliation.
Trust in him, and he will help you;
make your ways straight, and hope in him.

You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy;
do not stray, or else you may fall.
You who fear the Lord, trust in him,
and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the Lord, hope for good things,
for lasting joy and mercy.
Consider the generations of old and see:
has anyone trusted in the Lord and been disappointed?
Or has anyone persevered in the fear of the Lord and been forsaken?
Or has anyone called upon him and been neglected?
For the Lord is compassionate and merciful;
he forgives sins and saves in time of distress.
(Sirach 2, NRSV)

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while most of my Protestant friends would highly frown upon the fact that I’m reading a “Catholic bible” or Apocrypha(Deuterocannon)
-
but there is a lot of truth in it... while a lot liken it to reading a Gnostic gospel,
-
but these books were written way before Christ, and have long been a part of Jewish and Christian tradition, at least until Luther came along and declared this:
“Apocrypha - that is , books which are not regarded to as equal to the holy scriptures, and yet are profitable and good to read”
-
and apparently Luther also wanted to throw out:
-
the Epistle of James - (faith without works is dead)
Hebrews,
Jude
Revelations
-
which leads me to wonder to what extent is the Protestant reformation is good and bad
-
Affirmation of the universal priesthood of all believers
-
other interesting articles i randomly googled up.
They, unfortunately have a rather catholic slant, so take it with a pinch of salt:
http://st-takla.org/pub_Deuterocanon/Deuterocanon-Apocrypha_El-Asfar_El-Kanoneya_El-Tanya__0-index.html
http://www.envoymagazine.com/backissues/1.2/marapril_story2.html
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perhaps, I shall for now... read the book of Sirach...

Faith is not a Fallacy

In these times, the world puts the tangible, what can be seen and felt, above all things
-
And faith, the intangible, is seen as unimportant, as flawed logic

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But faith is worth it
Because God is faithful... in all things and circumstances, and He will take care.
-
In times of uncertainty and confusion, faith in God, is what gives us peace and comfort,

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I’ve always had a certain wariness of certain teachings, especially with regard to the prosperity and ‘good life’ teachings that tell us that God will give us a good life...
-
It places too much emphasis on the tangible, earthly wealth that rots away...
-
but the emphasis it puts on faith... believing that God will provide... trusting in Him...
-
In the balanced view of it, God wants us to trust in Him and have faith in Him.
While He does not necessarily promise us a ‘good life’ as defined by the world(Heb 11),
But He ultimately will “make things beautiful in its own time” (Ecc 3:11).
-

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It takes faith to believe that God is more important than anything else in the world.
but not everyone will share the same view, and it simply appears as foolishness
-
Simply because the promises of God, of eternal life, of salvation, in the eyes of carnal men is simply not tangible.
-
Sickness, and still serving God to the best of ones ability
or perhaps, offering thanksgiving even through times of grief.
-
To the world, its just one big fallacy.
but I will still trust Him...

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I wish I knew what you’re going through...
but I guess God knows and He will take care...

Sorrows

it comes to this, a culmination of emotions and thoughts that one has tried to stave off for the past weeks or so...
as if the acetylcholine receptor blockers have been broken down, finally hitting one with reality
-
it just occurred, with a deep sorrow, about compromises everyone will make, about the vast number of people I know who will compromise and slowly fall away, because the ground, the foundation, was not built upon solid rock but sand...
-
Compromises can take form in so many ways, from resolutions not lie, drink or sin in anyway, these can slowly break down, moral values, under face of the pressures around, after we leave a protected environment.
-
it can even be in the relationships we have..., “do not be yoked with unbelievers”, I’ve see it slowly happening in my friend, while intentions maybe good perhaps, to bring a friend to Christ, but it can only end as compromise... slowly with the time we have with God, and beyond...
-
and even now, a compromise of not being an effective ministry for God, because one is plagued with the personal problems of our own.

---

and I ponder again, over the broken remains that i see behind
and I still don’t know... it hurts a lot, maybe not as much as Feb last year, or Jan this year... but still...
I don’t know why the sudden distancing and change... I don’t understand... friendship is about trust right?
-
And even the repairs i made in the meantime before are slowly crumbling, le chateler’s principal is not working properly, shouldn’t removing the product cause a shift to the forward reaction and not the back?
-
Confusion all over... they say only God can give peace... and I guess they’re right
-

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Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart(Psalms 37:4)

summit of submissions

Apparently submitting songs isn’t as straight forward as I thought
-
with a number of bounce emails and the lot...
-
but i must say that the people are rather nice, to take so much trouble to get things right
-

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and again I wonder
and take a shot in the dark
-
and realise it doesn’t mean anything anyway
-
hiyah stay happy everyone lah!!!
-
Dont emo!!! emo is BAAAAAD
-
I will not amend my resolution so fast eitherways...
-

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although messing around facebook (i.e.jayne’s nonsense) is rather entertaining
haha
-

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FireAC, lead for the worship again
it was quite a fresh experience I must say
-
but the song “open the eyes” has never meant anything to me till now.
-
somehow... maybe that’s why I always felt that in worship through song, its not about seeking the “feelings” and the “highs“
-
or even for setting an atmosphere before a sharing
-
but seeking the Lord, and giving Him the glory He deserves
-

in but not off

strange how i decided to go for a class gathering, like for the first time ever =p
-
was rather fun nonetheless, though a few things made me a little uncomfortable...

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they say literature and pictures is a reflection of the inner chained desires of the human being
-
and certainly the sex, drugs and gore of “American Gangster” was kind of disturbing
-
choose to relish in it, or shy away... the latter being a better choice...
-
although “Van Helson“ was nice
-

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and, well... drinks...
-
i sort of decided to abstain from it(other than 1 sip of Asahi to see how Jap beer tasted like), after all I’m
1. not legal yet
2. not wishing to get drunk
-
and Cielito coming around later and discussing about how the 2nd student council (which she just came from) was having a drinking game.
-
In which a large majority of them became a lil tipsy...
-
although a notable individual was said to abstain

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”is clubbing wrong?”
-
everything is permissible
but not everything is beneficial
-
salt and light
be different...
and not lose the saltiness
-
To be in the world
But not of the world
-

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I wonder... sighs...
-
for now it’ll be fine, because we’re still relatively sheltered, and basically people aren’t going to condemn you otherwise
-
but when faced with a true test... will we stay strong, and keep a firm stand
-
or melt like sugar to the world under heat and pressure