summit of submissions

Apparently submitting songs isn’t as straight forward as I thought
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with a number of bounce emails and the lot...
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but i must say that the people are rather nice, to take so much trouble to get things right
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and again I wonder
and take a shot in the dark
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and realise it doesn’t mean anything anyway
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hiyah stay happy everyone lah!!!
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Dont emo!!! emo is BAAAAAD
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I will not amend my resolution so fast eitherways...
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although messing around facebook (i.e.jayne’s nonsense) is rather entertaining
haha
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FireAC, lead for the worship again
it was quite a fresh experience I must say
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but the song “open the eyes” has never meant anything to me till now.
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somehow... maybe that’s why I always felt that in worship through song, its not about seeking the “feelings” and the “highs“
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or even for setting an atmosphere before a sharing
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but seeking the Lord, and giving Him the glory He deserves
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a Long day

up to 440pm, ugh...
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with all the depressing paper reviews =(
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and for some strange reason, I cant seem to access the school wireless AGAIN.... Yugaraj’s account got blocked or something
boooo

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and my Sis says she wont buy such expensive stuff over, and I should earn my own money first...
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so it prob means I wont get a fender tele for a long time =(
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ah well
So many things right?
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So I await the enlistment letter... will it be march or December?
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I wonder... and hope everything will work out fine...
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sugar/drugs highs

found that i couldnt sleep last night, due to some freaky headache/muscle cramps/fever
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either-ways got up in the morning to down 1 tablet of Paracetamol... before being able to sleep
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until being woken up by Tim at 1040
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“do you want to go for John’s B’day”
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tried again to go back to sleep
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until my mum came back and made me down 2 tablets of Paracetamol/Orphenadrine citrate
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which, thankfully got rid of my headache/mucle cramps/fever although it left me in a rather drowsy state...
so much for an Anticholinergic drug...
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after which went over to Holland V for John Tay’s B’day dinner
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Sushi Tei was too crowded so we ended up going to NYDC
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which isnt very cheap... although i spent a record of $32.50 there...
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and some random incident which ended with me having to drink extra sweet tea
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“can i try pouring”(amanda)
*consents
*she grabs the syrup jug and literally empties it inside my drink
=.=
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later on, when i wasn’t looking....
*empties the syrup jug...
zzz...
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“its too sweet”(Charles Ng)
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after which i decided to follow Petrina’s advice and dilute the drink with a bit of water...
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although it does do wonders, i didn’t feel sleepy after that... possibly the effect of combining caffeine with the Paracetemol
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ah well...

juxtaposition

they say dreams have meanings
or are they wrong?
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they say dreams come true
but are they wrong?
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a dreamland visit
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to a house I knew so well – my father’s parents house
in which i have never set foot for 7 years
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the decor, everything was the same
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except the altar of idols – the red light illumination
was gone...
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no one else was with me...
other than a friend whose laughter I knew too well...
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i wonder what it all means... strange as it may be...
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it was too vivid and real for my liking...

meaningless

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." Ecc. 1:2

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the problem with hopes and dreams
once disappointed
is hard to heal
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i tried to fill it with something else
and it was a fleeting moment
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but everything is meaningless again
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I wonder why do things work out that way
I never said anything
Did i do anything wrong?
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but I wonder
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they say
If i choose to give my broken dreams and hopes to God
He’ll heal it
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but God who gives and takes away
and when He takes
blessed be His name
if He takes everything
blessed be His name
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Just don’t leave me alone
hold my hand
and never forsake me
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on the other hand
some captchas are quite stupid:

nice... =.=
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Password Protected

in but not off

strange how i decided to go for a class gathering, like for the first time ever =p
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was rather fun nonetheless, though a few things made me a little uncomfortable...

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they say literature and pictures is a reflection of the inner chained desires of the human being
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and certainly the sex, drugs and gore of “American Gangster” was kind of disturbing
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choose to relish in it, or shy away... the latter being a better choice...
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although “Van Helson“ was nice
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and, well... drinks...
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i sort of decided to abstain from it(other than 1 sip of Asahi to see how Jap beer tasted like), after all I’m
1. not legal yet
2. not wishing to get drunk
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and Cielito coming around later and discussing about how the 2nd student council (which she just came from) was having a drinking game.
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In which a large majority of them became a lil tipsy...
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although a notable individual was said to abstain

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”is clubbing wrong?”
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everything is permissible
but not everything is beneficial
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salt and light
be different...
and not lose the saltiness
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To be in the world
But not of the world
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I wonder... sighs...
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for now it’ll be fine, because we’re still relatively sheltered, and basically people aren’t going to condemn you otherwise
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but when faced with a true test... will we stay strong, and keep a firm stand
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or melt like sugar to the world under heat and pressure

food for thought

Rejoice, young man, while you are young, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Follow the inclination of your heart and the desire of your eyes, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgement.
(Ecc 11:9)

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while yes... I’ve believed that one of the central messages that Christ teaches, is the denying of one self
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yet this verse still sticks out
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so what could it mean
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Perhaps, it could mean a few things
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1. Stay happy, and rejoice in the Lord while you can
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2. Chasing after ones own desires and hopes is not inherently wrong per se,
In fact , sometimes God plant such stuff in our minds and head, so that in these things we may glorify him
However, we need to align our desires to the will of God, and these desires should be Godly in nature
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and should God choose to ask for surrender... go ahead... and trust in Him...
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Its starting to freak me out a fair bit... this consistent observations of my habits and idiosyncrasies
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on the basis that i have nothing... I just let it be
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but its getting a little freaky, i must say...
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sighz...

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And I don’t like being ignored either
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Not like it means anything... there are a lot of other plausible reasons
I wish everything could just be open...
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And I quote:
“you know who you are...”
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ah well....
x.x

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On the other hand FB is quite useful in trying to find old friends from primary school
haha...
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a lot of funny, weird, but memorable memories
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From getting my teeth knocked out and the lot
haha...
I miss those days...

I imagine...

a world without sorrow...
no more nightmares of a dark tomorrow...
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if you can imagine...
you can achieve
there nothing that we cant believe
...
just like the eagles we’ll soar...
just imagine, we’ll get there...
just imagine...

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fragments of memories outside at a darkened CPA 2
Haven...
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sighs
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parting is such sweet sorrow...
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Geog paper beckons...

Costly Coffee shop food

on the other hand...
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some random stuff today
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went to church youth centre first (before service)
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Guitar hero
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it was fun bullying jasmine ho by throwing pillows at her every time she seemed like winning hannah
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haha =p
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although the excessive use(1 is bad enough) of F-words later was kind of ... -_-
although it warranted more pillows chucked at her
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F-words are BAD...
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service
then lunch
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it seems like the past few days i’ve been eating rather expensive “coffee shop” food
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thurs:Uno beef house - sirloin steak - $10
friday Uno beef house - tenderloin steak - $15
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and today
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my mum suddenly decided she wants to go to some random coffeeshop at Jln Bkt Merah to eat this ridiculously expensive Japanese food she found on the newspaper
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Cilantro:
1. Wagyu Don (beef bowl)- $9.50 (mine)
2. Smoked duck rice - $9.50 (mum)
3. Soft-shell crab Salad -$4.50
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total - $23.50 for 2 people, which amounts to $12.25 pax
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Insane for coffeeshop food right?
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it was interesting to see the contrast between the prices of adjacent stores($2, $2.50 etc.)
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esp. since Jln Bkt Merah isn’t exactly a rich mans area
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on the other hand , I shall review the food we ate
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Wagyu Don:
very succulent thinly sliced pieces of beef
think Yoshinoya with high grade meatly pieces beef nicely marbled(laced with thin steaks of fat)(i.e. Wagyu), proper onions, and higher grade rice (not the soggy stuff Yoshinoya gives)
and you might be close...
was very nice, but the proportion of beef to rice gave was not that good , too much rice/too little beef
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Smoked Duck rice:
indescribably good ...
soft and succulent slices of duck seasoned nicely served with rice topped with teriyaki sauce
a very generous helping as well...
as my mum would say
more worth it than paying $4.50 for roast duck rice at half the amount of duck
the only think i can remember eating that was as good as this is probably from a Hong Kong(food trip with my aunts)... roast goose rice at 30+ HKD,
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Soft-shell crab
served with wasabi dip.
not too great... the crab portion was quite measly
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needless to say
my mum (and her sisters) are quite crazy over food... (would you actually drive all the way to all manner of weird places in Singapore to try out food recommended by the media?)
my mum intends to take me to eat sizzling rock/ hot stone sometime this week at boat quay. lol
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quite funny lor, not like my mum earns a lot... but we still eat insanely expensive food (remembering the $189 meal I had 2 years back)
even without any special occasion some more
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statistical errors

if you make a calculated guess
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a hypothesis
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and you test it
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you’ll always run the risk of committing a type I error if you reject it
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or run the risk of a Type II error if you accept it
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needless to say...
I rather accept Ho
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at the very least
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while running the chance of committing a Type II error
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it keeps me happy
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Like is too short to be lukewarm
this I know...
Jesus you can have it all
My every breath...
(Matt Redman - When all said and done)
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we see suffering in the world
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all around...
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but ...
to live is Christ
to die is gain
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I feel for you... i knew you last year...
it must hurt...
“How can I stand here with you, and not be moved?”
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but in all things
God is sovereign
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He makes everything beautiful in its time(Ecc 3 :11)
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fy_poolday

today again was a nice largely eventful and happy day
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cramming 4 chapters of Cordington in the head before getting chased out by the librarian,
At the same time giving a little help to Keson with Chem ideal gases
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all units must be standardised before applying formula
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then going back to Sac,
met feli and jaynee, and decided to do math stats again
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“holy sh*t”(jaynee after I showed her freeexampapers.com )
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and again being chased out, this time by a custodian
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oh darn, why cant they leave us alone and lock the sac later?
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went over to some random bench after that( jaynee and feli disappeared into the lift)
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messed around with my guitar for a while before going off to Marcho’s house
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Bs
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after that, marcho’s party
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A few things

1. my Guitar G-string snapped when we were having worship after that(not me playing though)


2. it was held next to a swimming pool

needless to say a few things happened after that

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1. Fab and ryan do some weird bet with J Ng trying throw fab’s bag across the pool


2. Lua gets thrown into the pool by a large group of us


3. Amanda pushes lua back into the pool after he gets out


4. Lua scoops up amanda and drops her into the pool


5. Eventually everyone gets thrown in (including me)


6. Havoc ensues (marcho get pushed too)

lol

pushing amanda in after that was oddly satisfying though
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and pity leemin wasn’t wearing a dark shirt
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it would have been fun throwing her in
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lol

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I conclude
having a birthday party next to a swimming pool is a bad idea
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lol

Can you feel the gravity falling, see the stars colliding?

“how do I do T-test arh?”(me to tim)
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it really depends on the company one is is with
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eitherway it wasn’t as nice as yesterday
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maybe i should have stuck with eating with the 2 Ts (Tim and Thangaraj)
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chem was a flunk
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so much of that
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did well for the chem analytical tests
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but got eliminated by organic chem

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and math practice later
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ah well
hypothesis testing
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so do I accept or reject Ho
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I think i might have committed a type I error =(
yet i don’t know...
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and seeing Jayne board her taxi again
something about tagging...
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positive-Taxis to the sac
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Another Fraser song to listen to while doing math
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Deciphering Me - Brooke Fraser


Friend, it’s getting late
We should be going
We’ve been sat here beneath
These flickering neons for hours

While I am cracking their code
You are deciphering me
For I am a mystery
I am a locked room in a tall tower

CHORUS
Oh, can you feel the gravity falling
Calling us home
Oh, did you see the stars colliding
Shining just to show
We belong

Your telescope eyes
See everything clearly
My vision is blurred
But I know what I heard echoing all around

While I am tuning you in
You are deciphering me
Not such a mystery
Not such a faint and far away sound

CHORUS

Bridge
It’s love, it’s love that holds us
We will be alright
It’s truth, it’s truth that shows us
If we’ll walk in it’s light
It’s love, it’s love that holds us
We will be alright
It’s truth, it’s truth that shows us
If we’ll walk in His light

CHORUS

Bananas and ForceFed Bandungs

haha
was an interesting day
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PSG coming down again with their gigantic Del monte bananas
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haha
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reminds me of old times =) one year ago
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When some ridiculous Tessa did the impossible and shoved a whole banana down without chewing ,
While both of us couldn’t | and the other didn’t want to try,
And we ended up making a mess... haha i still have that picture/post
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I miss those times, laughing at a joker ... a nice joke though
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ah well
everything thing now seems so serious
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except maybe a little laughs and happiness now and then...
but i guess it sucks because it used to be much more...
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a lot of people feel that way i guess...

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and after a trip to Beef House at the back of Dover(the C’wealth side) for dinner

(after much advertising from my mum)

(I was already VERY sick of Wahchee and Broadway lol)

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had the most AWESOME STEAK i had for a long time, it was really nice
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and very expensive as well though
10 bucks ><
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“hmm Tim we share drink can?” (I’d already downed one cup of bubble tea, and didn’t want to buy another drink)
”okay... bandung “
”=.=“
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and Tim tried to force feed me Bandung
yuck... i never liked that stuff... always too sweet and too milky for my liking
not because it was pink though,... haha
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I think bubble tea is much nicer, thank you very much
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so silly, i used to do that last time... substitution...
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I’m on my own now though...

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oh well
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I wonder how long this will last
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ah...
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and I got my guitar back again, and its as good as new =)

parasympathic

everything seems to be slowing down
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feeling very tired
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chasing shadows and the wind
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... no point thinking about it...
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Matthew 6:25-34
 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

we like to read the second part of that verse more than the first
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I got that last year too
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I asked
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and there is a very interesting interpretation of that passage which Tim shared with me
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If we seek after God’s kingdom, naturally, our desires will be aligned with His, and therefore, He will give
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was again in the NCC room (since no BB Primers room for me),
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hearing snippets of why ToK is flawed
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I think its true... sometimes we think too much...
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hide and seek over the computer is stupid...
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i dunno why...
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maybe...

When more than half the papers are over

SL EA1 P1 P2

SL GEOG P1 P2

HL MATH P1 P2 P3

HL CHEM P1 P2 P3

HL BIO P1 P2 P3
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not much left to study for, except maybe Geog
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options papers are kinda... hard to keep studying the same 2 chapters over and over again
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oh well
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staying in school everyday up to 10pm
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so tired...
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Dunno if I should bother ...
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but I’m scared of the repercussions

whispers of reality

Password Protected
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In all things
God works for the good of those who love Him
Who are called according to His purpose

FFS

yet another strange way to hide
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everyone seems to think that i still...
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even though it was over... a long time ago
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i dunno why I still end up engaging in the game of samsara

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messing around the library, =saw yuan kai
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and apparently he still hasn’t learnt his lesson from Dr Yong
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Nearly forgetting to take the $129 borrowed Geog textbook from the library
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scaring a custodian after emerging from a dark LT
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seeing 2 people trapped inside a locked library,
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and a short random conversation / walk with Jayne
-should I have asked? I wonder...
NCC rooms
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what an irony... i cant even use my own CCA room
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Honours days, not like I expected anything
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and I’m getting my guitar back on thursday =)

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i wonder what everything means
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oh well...

Confluence of horrors

new layout, new skin...
picture was taken from Genting Highlands, greyed out and modified
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i seem to be reverting back into the “NSK HTML” spamming of using custom Html on blogger
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as Kenneth lim would put it...
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but generally it actually makes loading it faster and cleaner on most browsers...
except I just realised how horrible IE is in loading my blog
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reduced the number of posts per page... at least now it loads much faster
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apparently IE cant handle large html files...
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Geog was erm... easy
despite not having studied , and doing a topic Dr Tieh didn’t teach
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so was math...

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but its quite sad...
why are people so mean...
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sighz
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this morning was a lil strange...
but i think... leaving things as they are is the best way to go
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don’t upset the dynamic equilibrium
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“in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose”(Romans 8:28)

not being myself...

and putting up facades
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you don’t really know anything do you?
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maybe it should be kept that way...
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maybe... =(
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reverse reactions...

pinches

while Lua, chng, kenneth and the rest have a push up system
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I actually adopted another system called the pinching system
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basically whenever stupid thoughts come into my head, I’ll pinch myself, or get someone else to...
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today... i had to pinch myself so many times
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Vivo city Best Denki was promoting some movies of sorts, I believe it was called Hairspray...
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“ever since this whole world began...”
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sighz... *pinch*
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after more pinches to come to squeeze out a different thoughts or so
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but thanks for your concern... anyway...

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sighz
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God never said yes, or no
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I don’t know... my head is in a whirl, like a Oreo Mcflurry
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I wish i could just stop it
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stop thinking stupid things
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i remember, sitting down in wah chee
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lua, chng, tim
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they were talking very loudly, i pretended not to hear...
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although i heard my name being mentioned so many times...
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I wasn’t sure what they meant...
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you mean...
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i don’t know, probably an instance of wishful thinking
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of past conversations and words:
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Password protected
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“oh gosh stop it , You’re a mix of EVERYTHING” (Tim in February 08)
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